Hello all. I joined this site in yet another attempt to get my ongoing health anxiety and self diagnosed OCD under control. I felt it was a better source to turn to than the doctor google wheel that I can’t seem to get off of. I have had anxiety for as long as I can remember. And probably OCD since a child, although it seems to have “flare ups” during more stressful times and those symptoms will subside sometimes. My mother and her entire family had serious illnesses. None of her or her siblings are alive today. I took care of my mother for 13 years while she battled ALS. So I am sure some of my health anxiety stems from those traumatic events in my life relating to health ailments. I believe I struggled with anxiety even before this though and it just generally manifested on health issues after dealing with those things in my life. I would likely be hyper focused on something else if it wasn’t health stuff. My symptoms were generally manageable for years. I would have a bad few weeks here and there if a “symptom” were to arise, but I could generally talk myself out of it after a while and move on. Ever since having a child, I have had symptoms that I’m unable to shake. For my child’s first year of life, my anxiety was focused on her. She did have some health issues during that time, so at least a portion of it wasn’t all in my head. Right after she turned 1, I went to the doctor for a general check up and complained of some general things that ended up causing the doctor to order some bloodwork. I have had thyroid issues in the past, so some of the tests she ordered included tests for autoimmune thyroid disease. All blood work came back normal except for one test. I had a positive ANA test which according to my doctor is a nonspecific marker of possible autoimmune issues. No further work up needed. After these results, of course the first thing I did was google. This led me down a rabbit hole of countless things. Since I don’t have typical symptoms of autoimmune disease, I looked to google for other reasons for getting a positive test - which includes cancer and all kinds of inflammation issues, etc. I think this test really kicked my health anxiety into complete overload because it has now been 2 years since the test and during that time, I have convinced myself that I have all kinds of horrible diseases. Just to name a few - breast cancer, colon cancer, lupus, stomach cancer, stomach ulcers, ALS, soft tissue cancer, liver disease, brain tumor, MS, ovarian cancer, skin cancer and many more. I know this is crazy. It seems even crazier when I type out just some of the things I have convinced myself I have. But in the moment, it all feels so real. I think I honestly end up looking to google for reassurance initially. I want to find something that puts my mind at ease about not having the disease. But I end up clinging on to the rare, unlikely horror stories instead. Stories about young people dying of cancer that is generally only diagnosed in older people...I convince myself I could be one of those unlucky 5% or whatever it may be. I know I can’t keep going on like this. I am making myself physically ill by worrying so much. And worse, when I become obsessed with a health issue, I end up googling and worrying and totally preoccupied for hours, days or weeks and I know that I am not giving my child the attention that she needs when I am so worked up. I am usually distracted enough at work to not focus on anxiety, but sometimes I when I am particularly worked up, my job suffers as well. I know I need to seek professional help. And I am working my way up to doing that. In my profession, I actually work with people who many times suffer with mental illness and I end up telling all of them the importance of getting help and treatment for their condition, but I myself have failed to take my own advice. I am looking to meet others who suffer with similar health anxiety/OCD issues in an attempt to gain support and tips and tricks that may help. Thanks for listening!