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Thread: Things do get better, don't they?!

  1. #1
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    Mar 2014
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    Things do get better, don't they?!

    I shouldn't even be writing this since it'll be classed as seeking reassurance but I'm at my wit's end with this setback. I'm finding it hard to cope. One minute I can see things rationally and then the next, anxiety has completely taken over again.

    This setback started about 4 weeks ago but I suppose it was brewing for a while before that. 4 weeks ago I had a day of extreme agitation over insomnia and then it just went from there and I haven't felt like me since. I have a horrible constant dread/doom/tight/agitated feeling in my chest, stomach and upper back. I've lost interest in pretty much everything, having to force myself to eat etc. Even doing things I usually enjoy like watching TV with my husband fills me with dread.

    I have had some pretty big achievements like yesterday I managed into town myself for an hour and the other day I got the taxi to mum's alone. Again though, I haven't felt any joy or relief over doing these things like I used to in the past. My 2 biggest triggers atm seem to be going into shops and meeting my family. Maybe it's because I've had so many panics in shops and around family lately? My day of agitation weeks ago started while I stayed over at mum's for the night. I'm taking them out today and they aren't sympathetic much to my problem. All I get is a tutt and sigh when I say I don't want to go to this or that place which I know it's avoidance but some days you can only do so much or I get sarky comments like "don't let us down today". Last night I was so worked up about taking them out that I barely slept and not even a propranolol helped calm me much. I've been feeling sick to my stomach since I got up and crying on and off.

    My chest and back are so tense. I don't know how much longer they can put up with this tension. I never used to worry about heart attacks but now I don what gets me to most is the horrible doom and dread feeling I have though. I don't know if it's anxiety or depression but it consumes me.

    I know I'm giving my feelings and thoughts too much attention but my god it's hard. I've been reading my Dr Weekes books and they don't seem to be sticking as well as usual but I still keep at them every day.

    I just feel so lonely and hopeless during this :'(
    __________________
    C-PTSD (Complex Trauma), OCD, Panic Disorder, GAD



    "Save your sympathy for someone else. I don't need it or want it. What you call a panic attack is merely a few normal chemicals that are temporarily out of place in my brain. It is of no significance whatsoever to me!"

    "Recovery always lies ahead - however painful the moment"

    "Recovery lies in the places and experiences you avoid"

    Dr Claire Weekes.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
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    3,680

    Re: Things do get better, don't they?!

    Hi. Sorry things suck.

    Your mood will never be completely constant or stable. It is entirely normal to have ups and downs. Anxiety flares just like any other illness and it dies down too. I call set setbacks "blips". Blips are the hardest thing about being an anxiety sufferer but they are also fairly predictable and can only hurt you if you "chase the rabbit", in other words get lost in fear and worrying. A blip is fuelled by your own fear of it. If you were not afraid of blips, they might still happen, but would die away very quickly.

    * Mindfulness is your friend. It does work but it's a skill which takes practice.

    * Claire Weekes' books and recordings (if you can find them) are your friend. Listening to Claire Weekes was the start of a significant fightback from anxiety for me and for countless others.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mZJI6_NwEHA

    * You need to find something to occupy your subconscious. A large part of suffering from anxiety is cowering from the negative chatter. Often, this chatter is down to boredom and dissatisfaction with life. This is NOT a bad or terrible thing, it means you aren't getting what you want out of life and you need to change it. It may be that something in your life is making you very unhappy eg a friend you aren't getting on with, not engaging in your hobby (or maybe not enjoying your hobby), a crap job. You should develop several new interests rather than just one. Eg, walking, crafts, reading. Make your life full of things you enjoy.

    * Pick a specific song or piece of music that you can train yourself to relax to. When you listen to it, let out a long, deep breath, relax your whole body and allow yourself to feel a sense of security and gratitude. Keep doing this until the reaction becomes automatic. Keep doing it until you can trigger this sense of safety and relaxation just by thinking about the first notes of the tune. I can virtually GUARANTEE you that if you practice this regularly, it will act as armour and will rescue you from anxiety attacks, and may even improve your appreciation of music. 80s and to an extent 90s songs tend to be really good for this, as they are often optimistic, powerful, fun and nostalgic. Keep a radio on during the day.

    If you desperately cling to the good things in life, trying to force fearful thoughts out of your head and praying to make it through to bedtime without a blip, YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG. Mindfulness, appreciation and letting go of tension are the way out, not running away.
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  3. #3
    Join Date
    Mar 2016
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    846

    Re: Things do get better, don't they?!

    Quote Originally Posted by GingerFish View Post

    My chest and back are so tense. I don't know how much longer they can put up with this tension.
    These things are due to tensing your body and not breathing properly. You've got to be proactive here. You need to do exercises to release the tension in your back. I carry tension in my lower back, so I use a heat pad and do stretches.

    Your chest will be tense because you will most likely be breathing shallowly (from your chest) and this causes all sorts of symptoms and sensations in the chest area. Do some deep breathing (start by emptying your lungs first if you feel like you can't get a full breath) and keep doing it until you feel the symptoms ease.

    just feel so lonely and hopeless during this :'(
    You're not alone. You post on here so you see how other people are experiencing exactly the same things as you, and 'hopeless' is defeatist dialogue that will not help you. Well, maybe for a few minutes because I think it's ok to dip in the pity pool for a short while as long as it is just a quick dip. All emotions have their place, but problems set in when you're not getting out of the pool. You get me?

    You will get bumps in the road. Recovery from anxiety disorders is a journey. Whatever self-help tools you used to feel better before - use them again, and again, and again.
    __________________
    There is a light. There is. Look for it. Look for it shining over your shoulder, on the past. It was light where you went once. It is light where you are now. It will be light, where you will go again. ~ Jennifer Worth

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Mar 2014
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    Worst depressive setback I've had in years

    My anxiety and panic attacks have been sky high for months and now I'm at the dreaded depression stage of setback. I get mild depression after most setbacks but this is the first attack of severe depression I've had in years.

    I've been to my GP and have been offered antidepressants. Sertraline 50mg. I am unsure whether I want to take them or not. She said I can get through it without meds but would advise me to take them. I've also been referred to online CBT (don't know when this is starting) and have downloaded the Calm app and practiced meditation. It helped so much last night that I had blips of normality for a few mins afterwards. I tried to meditate this morning when I had a bad feeling but just couldn't get into it. Will try again tonight before bed.

    I just feel so alone and hopeless. I am isolating myself from loved ones and I don't mean to. I feel dread at being around anyone because I can't be arsed putting up a front and I feel guilt about not being the person why need me to be. I look at my beloved cats and husband and feel this way. I also feel like there's something physically blocking me from talking to people too.

    I'm not suicidal but I don't want to live like this much longer if that makes sense? I don't know how my body and mind could cope with any more of these feelings. Out with this, there's a lot that has been going on in my life lately, mainly bad but I still love my life. I'm grateful for every aspect of it and I suppose day I'll be grateful for this setback too.

    Sometimes I can't tell if my depression or anxiety is worse. I'm always on edge and the slightest feeling or pain I have makes me want to run to A&E or call the crisis team demanding to be admitted. I know how crazy it sounds.

    I dread everything. I dread going to bed in case I don't sleep or I do sleep well but don't feel any better the next day. I dread spending time with my husband though I dread being without him too. I dread eating. I've lost half a stone since this all happened. I dread going out, I dread staying in. I wonder how the hell I'll get through another day and I remember all the scary feelings I've had lately and worry I'll feel them again today.

    I've managed to do a few things this morning before writing this - I finally got out of bed and onto the couch, had some Weetabix and finally replied to a text from a friend from days ago. I feel no sense of achievement or normality from doing this though.

    Just any advice would be great thanks. I sincerely wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy
    __________________
    C-PTSD (Complex Trauma), OCD, Panic Disorder, GAD



    "Save your sympathy for someone else. I don't need it or want it. What you call a panic attack is merely a few normal chemicals that are temporarily out of place in my brain. It is of no significance whatsoever to me!"

    "Recovery always lies ahead - however painful the moment"

    "Recovery lies in the places and experiences you avoid"

    Dr Claire Weekes.

  5. #5
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    Re: Things do get better, don't they?!

    Hi

    This is just a courtesy reply to let you know that your thread was merged with another of your threads.

    Please when posting on similar topics add it onto your previous post rather than starting a new one.


    It is nothing personal it is just to make it easier for people to follow your story and to give you advice as a whole.
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    ďDon't be afraid of death; be afraid of an unlived life. You don't have to live forever, you just have to live.Ē - Natalie Babbitt

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  6. #6
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    Re: Things do get better, don't they?!

    I would take them, I was in the same situation as you after a set back a little over a month ago. I literally told my doctor ĎI donít want to die, but I donít want to live like thisí

    I started at 50mg, now on 100mg not had any real side effects. Iím starting to feel a little better now! I honestly think that it will help me a lot in the future as it begins to become more effective.


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  7. #7
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    Re: Worst depressive setback I've had in years

    Quote Originally Posted by GingerFish View Post
    I tried to meditate this morning when I had a bad feeling but just couldn't get into it. Will try again tonight before bed.
    First of all, sorry you are where you are right now. I have been there, and it's awful.

    I just wanted to pick up on this reaction to meditation.

    So meditation isn't an immediate cure or fix for something. One of the side effects of meditation is that it can calm the central nervous system down in the short term, but that's not the ultimate goal. You mentioned multiple times that you worry about what your reaction will be to certain daily aspects of life, you worry about sleeping, you worry about not sleeping etc etc. In essence your subconscious is creating problems that have yet to exist, and THIS is what meditation is best at dealing with.

    Try not to see it as a relaxation tool, but rather as mental training to help you learn not to react in a negative way to every thought. This period of your life will end, and you will feel better at some point, but meditation is very, very good at helping you accept where you are right now, and focus on the inevitable recovery in your future.

    Not being able to 'get into' meditation doesn't matter. The goal is practice, not perfection. It's about setting up a mental routine and sticking to it, even if it's just for five minutes a couple of times a day. It's about redirecting your thought away from unwanted mental clutter, and back to the focus of the meditation. You don't have to succeed at it, you just have to practice. If that makes sense?

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