I shouldn't even be writing this since it'll be classed as seeking reassurance but I'm at my wit's end with this setback. I'm finding it hard to cope. One minute I can see things rationally and then the next, anxiety has completely taken over again.

This setback started about 4 weeks ago but I suppose it was brewing for a while before that. 4 weeks ago I had a day of extreme agitation over insomnia and then it just went from there and I haven't felt like me since. I have a horrible constant dread/doom/tight/agitated feeling in my chest, stomach and upper back. I've lost interest in pretty much everything, having to force myself to eat etc. Even doing things I usually enjoy like watching TV with my husband fills me with dread.

I have had some pretty big achievements like yesterday I managed into town myself for an hour and the other day I got the taxi to mum's alone. Again though, I haven't felt any joy or relief over doing these things like I used to in the past. My 2 biggest triggers atm seem to be going into shops and meeting my family. Maybe it's because I've had so many panics in shops and around family lately? My day of agitation weeks ago started while I stayed over at mum's for the night. I'm taking them out today and they aren't sympathetic much to my problem. All I get is a tutt and sigh when I say I don't want to go to this or that place which I know it's avoidance but some days you can only do so much or I get sarky comments like "don't let us down today". Last night I was so worked up about taking them out that I barely slept and not even a propranolol helped calm me much. I've been feeling sick to my stomach since I got up and crying on and off.

My chest and back are so tense. I don't know how much longer they can put up with this tension. I never used to worry about heart attacks but now I don what gets me to most is the horrible doom and dread feeling I have though. I don't know if it's anxiety or depression but it consumes me.

I know I'm giving my feelings and thoughts too much attention but my god it's hard. I've been reading my Dr Weekes books and they don't seem to be sticking as well as usual but I still keep at them every day.

I just feel so lonely and hopeless during this :'(