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Thread: DP/DR worst its ever been

  1. #1
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    Mar 2014
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    DP/DR worst its ever been

    I've been in a bad patch lately with anxiety, panics and depression as you will know from my last few threads. Touch wood, I am hoping that my anxiety will slowly start to come down now that I have told my family I need a break and time to get heal and running around like a headless chicken every day. The panics I had been having lately were 10/10 bad almost every single day for weeks and on top of that I was barely eating or sleeping those days too.

    The worst thing for me right now is DP/DR. I've had it before after bad panics but never to this extent. I don't recognise myself in the mirror (though clearly I do, you know what I mean, its so hard to explain), when my husband took a pic of me while we were out for a walk the other day - when I looked at it, it looked bang on like the old happy me but I feel like I was someone else looking at the pic and not me looking at a pic of myself, I feel like I am on autopilot and getting no joy of of anything - I look at my cats and clap them and call them their wee nicknames but I feel like a robot doing it, I take pics of anywhere I go or things I do to try and prove to myself that I went because I feel as though I didn't go or do anything, my flat doesn't look right to me but then again neither does anywhere else inside or out, I can see and hear my loved ones but I don't 'feel' them - it feels like I am trapped in a bubble away from them, my vision seems blurry despite a perfect eye test recently etc. Its absolutely horrible.

    I have been so close to going up to A&E and demanding they knock me out until this passes because I am struggling to deal with it so much at times. I have even called the local MH base just to make sure I wasn't going crazy. I know exactly what DP/DR is and that its my mind trying to protect me and after all the stress I have put my body through lately, I am trying to remain as calm as possible for it too but my god its hard isn't it? I am trying to get back into things I enjoy like gaming but I have zero interest and just feel like I am on autopilot or watching someone else do it.

    Anyone have any tips on how to get though this or at least make it more managable?
    Last edited by GingerFish; 17-09-20 at 11:04.
    __________________
    C-PTSD (Complex Trauma), OCD, Panic Disorder, GAD



    "Save your sympathy for someone else. I don't need it or want it. What you call a panic attack is merely a few normal chemicals that are temporarily out of place in my brain. It is of no significance whatsoever to me!"

    "Recovery always lies ahead - however painful the moment"

    "Recovery lies in the places and experiences you avoid"

    Dr Claire Weekes.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Oct 2016
    Posts
    479

    Re: DP/DR worst its ever been

    I can sympathise with this completely at the moment.

    I seem to spend most of the day reminding myself what time it is, where I am, and who I am. It's terrifying.

    The only thing I've found that gives a minutes breathing space sometimes is intense exercise, and it seems to ground me just enough to allow me a slightly normal moment.

    I'm going for a run in a moment, as I've just had a horrible spell whilst playing a game with my nephew. Proper wits end stuff.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
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    469

    Re: DP/DR worst its ever been

    Do you use grounding technique's? Engaging all of your senses once at a time? Reminding your brain that you're present and are reacting with your environment.

    It's trial and error to find what works for you. But when I'm having bad episodes of DP/DR, I've found my most effective grounding technique is to feel slightly rough rock, the stones on the wall of my house for example. The sensation against my fingertips manages to bring me down. I remind myself that in accordance with physics, I push the wall and it pushes me back, for some reason that thought helps me to come back a little mentally. Try anything with any of your senses. Look at things, feel things, smell things, touch things, taste things. Try and be mindful with it and engage with what you're doing.

    I hope this helps.

    Sending love ❤️ I hope you feel well again soon. It's such a struggle sometimes isn't it. Take care. Xx

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Oct 2016
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    479

    Re: DP/DR worst its ever been

    Quote Originally Posted by EmmerLooeez View Post
    Do you use grounding technique's? Engaging all of your senses once at a time? Reminding your brain that you're present and are reacting with your environment.

    It's trial and error to find what works for you. But when I'm having bad episodes of DP/DR, I've found my most effective grounding technique is to feel slightly rough rock, the stones on the wall of my house for example. The sensation against my fingertips manages to bring me down. I remind myself that in accordance with physics, I push the wall and it pushes me back, for some reason that thought helps me to come back a little mentally. Try anything with any of your senses. Look at things, feel things, smell things, touch things, taste things. Try and be mindful with it and engage with what you're doing.

    I hope this helps.

    Sending love ❤️ I hope you feel well again soon. It's such a struggle sometimes isn't it. Take care. Xx
    I've tried everything to be fair and nothing helps.

    Sometimes an extreme workout can ground me, purely because I start worrying about physical sensations I suppose, but it doesn't last long, and sometimes makes me worse.

    It's the worst symptom I've ever had, and no one seems to have the answer to it.

  5. #5

    Re: DP/DR worst its ever been

    Quote Originally Posted by PHR View Post
    I've tried everything to be fair and nothing helps.

    Sometimes an extreme workout can ground me, purely because I start worrying about physical sensations I suppose, but it doesn't last long, and sometimes makes me worse.

    It's the worst symptom I've ever had, and no one seems to have the answer to it.
    I find thinking about old memories that made me happy helps a lot,Walking my dog spending time with people that share the same intrests spending more time with family or even talking to them on the phone I had days of episodes where i did not feel i existed at all you have to socialize as much as you can with people that share the same things you do i used to watch all the old 80s cartoons i liked with my wife or my brother. My last episode was 3 years ago when it creeps up again talk to friends family and do things that you no made you feel good hope that helps
    __________________
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  6. #6
    Join Date
    Mar 2014
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    Re: DP/DR worst its ever been

    Hi everyone I just thought I'd check in and see how we are all doing? My DP/DR has been very up and down for the last month. It hasn't ever went away 100% but then again, neither has my stress or anxiety. Its been bad the last few days especially. I feel like I can't feel anything other than grief and anxiety. I remember thinking in the past that it sounded cliche when people would say they only felt alive when they were hurting, well I now feel that with my DP/DR and its horrible. My DP/DR is often better in the morning or afternoon but it gets so much worse now that the early dark nights are here. It feels like days only last 5 mins and now I am back to dreaded night again. I think I know where fear of the night comes from - 1. from a huge panic attack I had at night recently before having to go to hospital for a bad urine infection and then 2 - insomnia. Agitation over lack of sleep has caused a lot of my meltdowns in the past. Grief on top of all of this wont be helping. I feel like I am walking about in a dream a lot of the time and don't feel like 'me'. I don't even feel like me when I look in the mirror but do get comfort looking back at old pics and recognise myself there at least. I am trying to remind myself that a lot of my problems now come down to habit and memory. Even I am starting to see a pattern of when I get anxious, when DP/DR flares up more etc so I need to try and break the habit or at least accept that my brain will be in this state for a wee while longer. I did have a good moments a few days ago when I felt as normal as I think I could in this state and instead of embracing it or even just relaxing within it, it made me panic and all I could think was "how the hell can I feel normal after all the hell I have felt lately?! Am I dead?! Is this a dream?!"

    I don't feel like I have a safe place from DP/DR. When it all started, I felt better in my flat than outside then a few weeks later it reversed and then sometimes I felt only safe in bed and now its pretty much nowhere. I do find I feel a bit better if I am sitting/lying down watching something, playing a game etc but as soon as I stand up, it all hits me again. Sounds silly but even sitting on the toilet triggers it. Maybe its because of negative memories of panic attacks I have had on the toilet and in public toilets.

    Ever so often sometimes even every few mins, I get spasms of fear (why is it we can always feel fear no matter how bad DP/DR is?! I just want to feel some joy and love ffs) and it makes me think I need to run to the hospital to get checked over physically or get evaluated mentally and then that they would no doubt section me. I've had this before but not for years so it all feels new to me again. This maybe comes from when I had to go to the hospital lately for that infection and was sure they were going to admit me (they didn't) which I was terrified of. The sectioning fear probably comes from the fact I just don't feel like me and that makes me feel crazy and sometimes close to suicidial though I don't think I would ever act upon it. I never have in the past when I have felt this but my god, the hopelessness is horrible to try and sail past. I find it hard to accept that my present feelings are temporary. Even after a million panic attacks in my life, I can very rarely say to myself "meh, this will pass in half an hour, nothing to worry about" and believe it.

    Anyhoo, I hope you are all keeping well and please remember you are not alone in this DP/DR fight
    __________________
    C-PTSD (Complex Trauma), OCD, Panic Disorder, GAD



    "Save your sympathy for someone else. I don't need it or want it. What you call a panic attack is merely a few normal chemicals that are temporarily out of place in my brain. It is of no significance whatsoever to me!"

    "Recovery always lies ahead - however painful the moment"

    "Recovery lies in the places and experiences you avoid"

    Dr Claire Weekes.

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