In the past couple of years I shared with people on this useful Forum many fears and moments of terrible HA. Very often, when I am in some kind of distress, eventually I start fearing HIV, although I have been sexually inactive for years, and was tested during this period three time - last time this week. My doctor whose patient I have been for more than ten years , and who knows my OCD illness, ordered ab/ag 4th generation test, which was negative. He wanted to help me calm down my acute OCD so that I can focus on badly needed therapy. I was petrified with fear waiting for the results, although, in reality, I could not have been infected with HIV. When my result came as negative, my joy was very short-lived: the feeling of relief was quickly replaced by suspicion that the nurse who drew my blood, maybe infected me with re-used syringe or needle. I know this does not happen; I know, googling it, it happened two times in the past over 20 years in the US, and both times it was national news; I know everything for phlebotomy in the US ( I live in Arlington, Washington D.C.'s suburb) is 100 % disposable. Also - why on Earth would it happen to me? Why am I always on the receiving end of some unheard of catastrophic event, in my mind?! Can anyone help me get out of this horrible rumination which does not let up, does not let me have one single day free of worry and at peace? Please, anyone - I would be very grateful, I am so incredibly exhausted from the works of my brain. Whoever has patience to respond, and comfort me, will be doing truly a good deed.