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Thread: Depersonalisation Disorder/Severe Anxiety

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2019

    Depersonalisation Disorder/Severe Anxiety

    My whole life i have known i have anxiety, i never realised i was experiencing panic attacks until an ambulance crew told me my 'heart attack' was in fact a panic attack. This was 1 year 20days ago. I spiralled into a world i couldnt get out of and the panic attacks were so severe i lost myself my world was dull even when i laughed it triggered a panic attack towards the end or made me feel really strange. I changed i was lost in this shell of I didnt know who i was. I believed god had given me a new illness i had discovered and that was what i had i didnt have anxiety or panic attacks.
    When i reached the peak of my breakdown in may i attended a and e 3 times and have five ambulances. The final time was the most traumatic experience re panic attacks in my life. It still haunts me to this day and the doctor sat with me for two hours until i cried and became lucid. I couldnt remember anything i didnt know where i was i knew i was about to die though (or not in her opinion). She then said depersonalization to me i never had heard of it or know any one with it or who experiences it. Looking back i have had it my entire life. the intrusive thoughts ive had ever since i was a child i have a complex mental health background however they have finally said i have complex trauma, severe anxiety and depersonalisation. Woah mega stuff right...thanks brain.
    The diazepam is a life saver, alongside the sertraline. Has anyone else been diagnosed and realised they had this ever since they were a child too? in some ways i miss the intrusive thoughts they were my compass and intuition sometimes now i forget risks etc and i even forget about covid. for five days after the peak of my breakdown i thought i had invented covid that was a fun episode.
    I do art now to express myself and eat tablets like im told to im still terrified of alot of things and im being reffered for a psychiatric occupational therapist (i never knew they existed) can anyone relate to my experiences?
    the audio hallucinations as i fall asleep were a superb example my mum says i still sleep talk too, my brain never stops.
    thanks for listening.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Nov 2011

    Re: Depersonalisation Disorder/Severe Anxiety

    I'm not a professional but it sounds to me as though you're having episodes of losing touch with reality in a slightly different way to depersonalisation. Have you spoken to a doctor or psychiatrist about your symptoms, aside from during your breakdown?

    My PM is open if you'd like to chat. Take care, I hope you feel well. Sending love 😊

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