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Thread: Eye exam has caused me more anxiety.

  1. #1
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    Eye exam has caused me more anxiety.

    Hey all
    So I noticed last week that one pupil was larger than the other, after looking through old photo's I saw that it had been there for atleast 15 years. I went to the opticians today and they said I have physiological anisocoria and that it is nothing to worry about as my pupils are healthy and reactive. He also did a test to see the back of my eye and told me immediately that I have no tumors. He was happy with all of the results and at the end of the test just told me to take a break from screens. That should have calmed my anxiety but because of the very last test he did I'm now half calmed and half scared.
    I had my face in front of a contraption, you know where you look through different lenses at images and whatnot. As soon as he put me infront of this I accidentally moved it with my nose, pulled it back to me and carried on, it kept kind of moving though. The last image was a red dot that the optician told me to look at and tell him how many lines I saw around it, I saw five, he said there were more. I apologised and asked if I could just adjust myself as when I sat up a little straighter the lines were becoming more apparent, he said yes of course and so I sat up straight and adjusted the lens contraption to my face, suddenly I saw all 8 lines perfectly - as clear as day with no issue. Optician seemed happy about it and I apologised because I kept accidentally moving the lens machine, he laughed and said it was fine, gave me a clear bill of eye health and told me to come back in two years.
    Does this sound like an issue with the positioning of the lenses or something in my brain? He said the test was to measure how well my eyes work together.
    I know with HA we worry even when professionals tell us all is fine so I am keeping that in mind, I just thought I'd double check. I've never had an eye exam as an adult so not sure if these things can happen! I thought everything had to be perfect all of the time and hate that I had to adjust myself/position of the machine to see all of the lines!!!!
    Argh.
    In the UK if that helps with eye exams situations.

  2. #2
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    Re: Eye exam has caused me more anxiety.

    Quote Originally Posted by Lu88 View Post
    I apologised and asked if I could just adjust myself as when I sat up a little straighter the lines were becoming more apparent, he said yes of course and so I sat up straight and adjusted the lens contraption to my face, suddenly I saw all 8 lines perfectly - as clear as day with no issue. Optician seemed happy about it and I apologised because I kept accidentally moving the lens machine, he laughed and said it was fine, gave me a clear bill of eye health and told me to come back in two years.

    Quote Originally Posted by Lu88 View Post
    Does this sound like an issue with the positioning of the lenses or something in my brain?
    The answer to this question is in your own written statement.

    Best Wishes
    __________________
    I asked myself one day, "What if I actually don't have cancer? What if I'm not really dying? Then surely I'm alive and should be living."

    Not a doctor or a psychologist, just a guy who's been to a lot of them.

  3. #3
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    Re: Eye exam has caused me more anxiety.

    [QUOTE=NotDeadYet;1968531]
    The answer to this question is in your own written statement.

    I kind of get that and really really want to believe it but I've not had an eye test since being a kid so completely unaware of what's normal and what's not. I don't want to be just kidding myself, if that makes sense?

    Also, what I didn't mention was that around two weeks ago I woke up from a very deep nap (after a boozy afternoon in the sunshine) with double vision that lasted around ten looooong seconds, freaked me out. I've read that binocular double vision is a sign of horrible diseases, although I've not had it since and it was literally as soon as I woke up. So I'm just putting it all together. PLUS my pupil inequality even though they've been tested and it's on photos from years ago - I know that realistically that's not connected - but what if it is? Why can't I just believe my optician - I KNOW I sound insane.

    I've gone from being a healthy 32 year old (i've never had anything wrong with me, tbh the pupil thing triggered off this whole episode) to being terrified of these symptoms and weird eye exam moment that unfortunately are all connected to the same part of my body.

    HA is the worst. Hate this.

  4. #4
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    Re: Eye exam has caused me more anxiety.

    You're worried about this because you're obsessing about it.

    You've been given a clear bill of health by a medical professional who specialises in the part of your body that you (the unqualified one) are worried about.

    Make the choice to stop obsessing about it and get back on with your life.

    HA doesn't happen TO you, it's a habit that YOU reinforce. It's the same for everybody.

  5. #5
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    Re: Eye exam has caused me more anxiety.

    Quote Originally Posted by Lu88 View Post
    So I'm just putting it all together.
    There actually isn't anything to put together. Your brain is doing some incredible gymnastics to bring very separate, unrelated experiences together into something cohesive.

    I've been where you are but with a different ailment. The only way out is to begin challenging your thinking. You have been given an unequivocal OK and all clear by trained, medical professionals. You have to trust them. There is no way around it. When those untrusting thoughts enter, you need to challenge them. You are the only one that can get out of your current spiral and that happens by not putting so much weight into your faulty thinking.

    If you are truly looking for some help, I would recommend the great CBT resources on NMP. I would also recommend reading "The Happiness Trap" by by Russ Harris. This book takes you through the process of understanding faulty thinking, how to challenge it and then how to move forward living your life.

    Best Wishes
    __________________
    I asked myself one day, "What if I actually don't have cancer? What if I'm not really dying? Then surely I'm alive and should be living."

    Not a doctor or a psychologist, just a guy who's been to a lot of them.

  6. #6
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    Re: Eye exam has caused me more anxiety.

    You are both so right. I have spent the last 7 days on here and reddit - literally daily, most of the days and staying up til daft o clock to find reassurance. I haven't had an episode this intense for years!! Thank you both so much for your words and time, you have helped me get into a more rational mind set. Thank you!!!!!!

  7. #7
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    Re: Eye exam has caused me more anxiety.

    Quote Originally Posted by Lu88 View Post
    Hey all
    I went to the opticians today and they said I have physiological anisocoria and that it is nothing to worry about as my pupils are healthy and reactive.


    Just like I said, if you care to look at my comment on your WHY?! Terrified AGAIN but over actual symptoms - thread from last week!

    Does this sound like an issue with the positioning of the lenses or something in my brain? He said the test was to measure how well my eyes work together.
    You have HA and the symptom you were freaking out about has proved to be nothing of concern - so now you are trying to latch onto something else. Do yourself a favour and accept that your eye test was fine.

    I know with HA we worry even when professionals tell us all is fine so I am keeping that in mind, I just thought I'd double check.
    Reassurance seeking behaviour - classic HA!

    I thought everything had to be perfect all of the time
    Eh?


    and hate that I had to adjust myself/position of the machine to see all of the lines!!!!
    Argh.
    Again, eh?
    __________________
    ~ Recovery is a marathon not a sprint ~

  8. #8
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    Re: Eye exam has caused me more anxiety.

    Quote Originally Posted by NotDeadYet View Post
    There actually isn't anything to put together. Your brain is doing some incredible gymnastics to bring very separate, unrelated experiences together into something cohesive.

    This is absolutely spot on.

    It's like watching a horror movie, then hearing your central heating creak at night and 'knowing' a monster is now obviously going to eat you.

  9. #9
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    Re: Eye exam has caused me more anxiety.

    Quote Originally Posted by ankietyjoe View Post
    This is absolutely spot on.

    It's like watching a horror movie, then hearing your central heating creak at night and 'knowing' a monster is now obviously going to eat you.
    A monster? That SO immature!

    It's totally a mad axeman creeping up the stairs, innit?
    __________________
    ~ Recovery is a marathon not a sprint ~

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