Stop me spiralling, please.

[Lana]

I have absolutely same thing; it has always been like that, one of my armpits is not only little bigger, but also differently shaped. I never paid attention until, of course, I developed anxiety and severe OCD years ago. I had it checked by 2 doctors - it is completely normal. They are just different, like everything on human body : sides are simply different from each other.

[Victoria84]

Thank you, its hard to know whether you're normal and what exactly to have checked out when we're told to feel and look for lumps and bumps yet our bodies are full of them. I dont know whether getting a doctors appointment to check again is going too far seeing as I had a breast check a year ago which included the armpits. I also had a full set of blood tests in Feb.

[Victoria84]

Thats mostly the problem with my HA i sit and look at my little boys face and can't cope with the thought of me not seeing him grow, it makes me feel sick. I had an ultrasound exactly two years ago but the worry is back again.

[nomorepanic]

Hi

This is just a courtesy reply to let you know that your thread was merged with another of your threads.

Please when posting on similar topics add it onto your previous post rather than starting a new one.

It is nothing personal it is just to make it easier for people to follow your story and to give you advice as a whole.

[Victoria84]

Think it might be Dr's phonecall tomorrow, had to take some diazepam, had a breakdown last year and can feel myself going again.

[Lana]

Victoria84, my severe depression, that later turned into health anxiety and OCD, started after I gave birth to my son. I was for years on plagued by petrifying fear that I will die and leave him alone, small and vulnerable. My son will be 22 years old next month (God willing), but my fears never stopped. My OCD is extremely severe, but at this point I am trying to manage it on my own, after years of therapy and medication. I am neither in therapy nor on the medication any longer.

There is nothing wrong with your armpit or your breasts. You had it checked by doctors, you had ultrasound, and mammogram, you are totally fine. Try to get some medication for the time being to stop obsessing. But ultimately, you need some therapy and medication, at least for a year. Do not allow yourself to be ruled by anxiety and OCD for years, stop them now. I have lost years of my life due to it. Years that are gone forever, spent in fear.

[Victoria84]

Thank you so much for your reply, yes mine started shortly after my son was born too. I had a little OCD in pregnancy but after pregnancy ot was horrendous, I still have it now, its getting slightly easier but not much.

[Victoria84]

I never know whether something needs checking by the doctor or if checking it is going overboard.

[Victoria84]

Trying to get into the doctors this morning but can't get through on the phone 30 tries so far, even the thought of going there is panicking me, I've not been anywhere at all since covid only work. I'm in a bit of a state I'm so worried.

[Victoria84]

Managed to get a phone appointment for a doctor tomorrow at 7:15. I'm at work and I cant concentrate at all I just want to be with my little boy.