Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 18

Thread: Can’t cope at the moment.

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2019
    Posts
    659

    Can’t cope at the moment.

    My diagnosis is severe anxiety with depersonalisation.
    Tonight I hit a rock bottom low. I have serious issues regarding eating and tonight I was on anxiety overdrive since this afternoon, not to mention the depression I suffered yesterday of despair and crying from flashbacks which were triggered from a nightmare and a week ago my hair fell out. This evening I at a whole coffee cake, 3 Reece’s peanut buttercups, Chinese consisting of 9 chicken balls a pot of bbq sauce, sweet and sour sauce, salt and pepper chicken, half a tub of egg fried rice and a portion of chips AND three mini mars bars. I feel shit is an understatement!
    I rang the mental health support like as I’d made myself physically sick and the adrenaline was pumping through my veins, not to mention my mum got pissed tonight and it was like babysitting a drunken zombie with their own language.
    Anyway the mental health support line heard me mention in passing I’m starting a new therapy pathway with a new CPN and I hadn’t put my anxiety on to that. The guy knows me I’ve spoken to him lots of times we have a brilliant local mental health support line and I’ve been lucky to have this guy 4/5 times now when he says his name I say hey it’s me! And he knows everything so he’s consistent in supporting me. Never had we spoken about change and fears around change and then I started to cry I was scared the new CPN would judge me or I didn’t have anxiety and I was making it all up and the new CPN would meet me and say “oh there’s nothing wrong with her”
    Anyway he suggested that my current CPN is doing a very sensible transition for me as she herself is going to do the initial big assessment with me for this specific structure of programme of therapy whereas it would have been handed over to just whoever was available but this lady has known me for two years. I never think change is scary or a trigger I just can’t connect with it but it seems to be a huge consequence for my anxiety as I have seen today. I just feel this is sooo rubbish right now and the calories I’ve consumed is making me feel horrid I’m such a **** all over again. I HATE myself


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

  2. #2
    Join Date
    May 2014
    Posts
    10,624

    Re: Can’t cope at the moment.

    Phoenixess,

    I didn't want you to think no one was listening to you in your struggles.
    I know you've been through such an ordeal this year and was surprised how well you coped with it all, and on your own!
    Don't bash yourself up, you should be mighty proud of yourself with everything you've had to cope with.
    Hang on in there, I know you'll get through this. xx

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Oct 2019
    Posts
    659

    Re: Can’t cope at the moment.

    Quote Originally Posted by Carnation View Post
    Phoenixess,

    I didn't want you to think no one was listening to you in your struggles.
    I know you've been through such an ordeal this year and was surprised how well you coped with it all, and on your own!
    Don't bash yourself up, you should be mighty proud of yourself with everything you've had to cope with.
    Hang on in there, I know you'll get through this. xx
    Thank you carnation I’m just so mad at myself for the binge I’ve had on the food I feel so sad why would I do that to myself I’ve not done anything that drastic since I lived alone


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Mar 2016
    Posts
    4,918

    Re: Can’t cope at the moment.

    Try not to hate yourself lovely, this is the time to give yourself some love, not hate.

    The binge isn't so much the problem as how you are reacting to it - that's where the damage lies.

    Sending lots of loving vibes your way. X
    __________________
    A thought is harmless unless we believe it.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Nov 2018
    Posts
    7,747

    Re: Can’t cope at the moment.

    Here for you, hon - sorry for the late reply.

    Please don't worry about the occasional food binge - it happens to all of us, and as Nora said, the only real harm done is emotional.

    Please be kind to yourself?
    __________________
    ************************************************** ********
    Sometimes, it's better to light a flamethrower than curse the darkness. - Terry Pratchett

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Oct 2019
    Posts
    659

    Re: Can’t cope at the moment.

    Hi Nora and Blue
    Still really struggling with the self hatred about last night and all that food I consumed I’m so anxious and feel sick thinking about it. I really really hate myself right now.
    I’m so anxious I can’t sit still just feel terrible.
    Never known how to be kind to myself about my mistakes feel out of control re eating
    PH xx


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Nov 2018
    Posts
    7,747

    Re: Can’t cope at the moment.

    You overate, I promise this isn't a huge deal.

    Would going for a walk help?
    __________________
    ************************************************** ********
    Sometimes, it's better to light a flamethrower than curse the darkness. - Terry Pratchett

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Mar 2016
    Posts
    4,918

    Re: Can’t cope at the moment.

    Quote Originally Posted by Phoenixess View Post
    Hi Nora and Blue
    Still really struggling with the self hatred about last night and all that food I consumed I’m so anxious and feel sick thinking about it. I really really hate myself right now.
    I’m so anxious I can’t sit still just feel terrible.
    Never known how to be kind to myself about my mistakes feel out of control re eating
    PH xx
    I know it must seem to everybody that I'm always saying, yeah I've had that, but the truth is that I've had a lifetime of mental disorders - some of which I've been able to gain control of. I've had bulimia and anorexia. I was bulimic as a teenager, so I understand the guilt and self-loathing from binge-eating. That aside, it's always been my way to scoff when I'm stressed, or in pain - physical and emotional. Due to FMS, I have so many food sensitivities now that I only have to glance at a chocolate bar and I feel ill, and my body can't handle the aftermath anymore. But, I've been where you are now, many times.

    You were trying to comfort yourself. It's a brain/hormone thing, and it works while we are getting those endorphin hits - but then we have to cope with the emotional and physical comedown. The body will do its thing. It's a magnificent machine - more awesome than most of us realise. But you have to work on your mind, as only you can do this.

    I've abused my body in so many ways over the years, but there is nothing to be gained in hating myself. If anything, I finally feel love for bulimic me, and anorexic me, because I was under a shit load of stress - none of which I could talk about. I never deliberately wanted to harm myself - I just wanted not to feel so sad for a short while...

    It helps me to reframe my past by understanding that 'mistakes' are also opportunities to grow and learn.

    You show yourself kindness by not berating yourself. You work on what triggered you, and your stress levels. The act of bingeing has gone. It cannot be changed no matter how much you kick yourself. But you do get to move forwards. Your body is showing you love all the time. It is clearing the toxins from your body right now. It is loving you from the inside..

    Today is a new day. X
    __________________
    A thought is harmless unless we believe it.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Oct 2019
    Posts
    659

    Re: Can’t cope at the moment.

    Quote Originally Posted by NoraB View Post
    I know it must seem to everybody that I'm always saying, yeah I've had that, but the truth is that I've had a lifetime of mental disorders - some of which I've been able to gain control of. I've had bulimia and anorexia. I was bulimic as a teenager, so I understand the guilt and self-loathing from binge-eating. That aside, it's always been my way to scoff when I'm stressed, or in pain - physical and emotional. Due to FMS, I have so many food sensitivities now that I only have to glance at a chocolate bar and I feel ill, and my body can't handle the aftermath anymore. But, I've been where you are now, many times.

    You were trying to comfort yourself. It's a brain/hormone thing, and it works while we are getting those endorphin hits - but then we have to cope with the emotional and physical comedown. The body will do its thing. It's a magnificent machine - more awesome than most of us realise. But you have to work on your mind, as only you can do this.

    I've abused my body in so many ways over the years, but there is nothing to be gained in hating myself. If anything, I finally feel love for bulimic me, and anorexic me, because I was under a shit load of stress - none of which I could talk about. I never deliberately wanted to harm myself - I just wanted not to feel so sad for a short while...

    It helps me to reframe my past by understanding that 'mistakes' are also opportunities to grow and learn.

    You show yourself kindness by not berating yourself. You work on what triggered you, and your stress levels. The act of bingeing has gone. It cannot be changed no matter how much you kick yourself. But you do get to move forwards. Your body is showing you love all the time. It is clearing the toxins from your body right now. It is loving you from the inside..

    Today is a new day. X
    I want to say I love you (crazy emotional woman here) I have been bulimic since I was 16 only now I can admit it and talk about. It’s partially a learnt behaviour from multiple angles. But I never (in my mind achieved ) anorexia I go days without eating and the longest I didn’t eat was in May and hun this year but that was due to my mental health. I try to eat healthy and regular and I exercise as an when about 5 times a week I go for long walks and I’m a power walker. It got easier since I lost the 3.5stone and the panic attacks have reduced I got panic attacks everytime my heart rate was elevated. The most amazing thing was my blood pressure 100% normal for the first time in my adult life. My goal is to be 5 stone less than where I am and my depression has creeped up on me my weight plateaued for the last two months.
    I met a guy online we went on three dates and he called me unstable. I think that actually fed into my self worth more than I care to admit.
    I make myself sick when I eat normally too. But to eat to the extent I did last night shocked the living daylights out of me to feel that out of control.
    I’m typing this as I sit on my vibration plate before I’m going for a walk. Need to up my water game today cannot let this affect my progress. I really want to hit my goal weight!!
    I hate food I hate it with a passion!
    Thank you for sharing your journey and I feel like you do 100 million % get where I’m coming from.
    It’s nice to meet our demons I’m now facing up to mine. Bulimia was my secret my control my hidden world and now I’m ready to admit it and ask for help with it.
    PH xxx


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Mar 2016
    Posts
    4,918

    Re: Can’t cope at the moment.

    Quote Originally Posted by Phoenixess View Post
    I met a guy online we went on three dates and he called me unstable. I think that actually fed into my self worth more than I care to admit.
    Stuff like this is always going to be an almighty kick in the bits with sensitive people, but look at it a different way, as in, you wouldn't want someone like that in your life, so it's better for you that this guy showed his true colours three dates in..

    Bulimia was my secret my control my hidden world and now I’m ready to admit it and ask for help with it.
    This is how you regain control - by acknowledging the problem and bringing it out in the open, and without shame, because there is nothing to be ashamed of.

    Start loving yourself from now - this moment. X
    __________________
    A thought is harmless unless we believe it.

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Similar Threads

  1. So down at the mOment
    By mel1972 in forum Health Anxiety
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 10-08-11, 07:43
  2. don't think I can cope at moment
    By lonewolf in forum Health Anxiety
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 21-01-10, 01:30
  3. Just Feel Like I Cant Cope At The Moment!!
    By GemmaDennis in forum Health Anxiety
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 28-08-09, 19:41
  4. Having a moment
    By Ross44 in forum Introduce Yourself
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 15-05-09, 21:21
  5. can't cope at the moment
    By lilly-lou in forum Panic / Panic Attacks
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 02-02-09, 01:43

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •