Hi all
I'd been doing so well, but now slipping down the vortex once again.
So, had a lot of bowel worries, despite having had a colonoscopy less than 18 months ago. Life is very stressful, lots of family problems which I've written about elsewhere. Anyway, I was realy rtying,, and was coping a lot better. So much so that just under two weeks ago, went to visit friends in Essex, and I can remember on the way there I was feeling healthy and strong, and remarked about it to my OH.
while we were there, we visited a restaurant, and it was only afterwards I realised that I had been leaning in to speak to my friends, as it was so loud in there. Well, thats sent me into a tailspin. I was convinced that I had brought COVID back with me, and had a bit of a tickly throat. Its now nearly two weeks though, so I think maybe not. Unfortunately, my HA has turned on again, and I have been getting chest pains (its a sharp almost burning pain slightly to the left). Its not severe, and only happens a few times a day. So then I was panicking that I am about to go into cardiac arrest (despite having a clear ECG, Echo and stress ECG less than 12 months ago, and cholesterol and BP is within range). I recently started running again (as I had been feeling so much better mentally). I hae had other random pains, last night I woke up with a pain in my outer thigh, it was just in one spot.
Now today, my abdo feels sort of full and uncomfortable, I dont know why.
The other thing I would mention is that my OCD is very bad. When I read or hear something about someone else, I feel like I am the person I am reading about. So, if I read that someone has been a bad mother, I think that I am a bad mother, and it all applies to me. This is true also of ill people. I'd like to say a bit more about this, but I dont want to trigger anyone else.
How do I stop spiralling? Life just seems so hard right now
Inanna xx
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