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Thread: Being Sucked into the HA Vortex :-(

  1. #11
    Join Date
    Feb 2016
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    197

    Re: Being Sucked into the HA Vortex :-(

    Hi

    thank you all for your kind words, it means a lot.

    inanna xx

  2. #12
    Join Date
    Jun 2014
    Posts
    11,592

    Re: Being Sucked into the HA Vortex :-(

    Stupid question..but how are you, Inanna? You must be in turmoil mentally xx

  3. #13
    Join Date
    Feb 2016
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    197

    Re: Being Sucked into the HA Vortex :-(

    Yes, I think turmoil sums up how I feel.

    my mum said that she will take me to the chapel of rest when she finds out where it is. She said no one needs to know. How strange that I have to sneak around to do it. I think I need to go though, as it doesn’t seem real, and I can’t take it in. I wo t be allowed to the funeral, so this is my onLy chance to say goodbye

    thank you all again

    inanna xx

  4. #14
    Join Date
    Jul 2018
    Posts
    159

    Re: Being Sucked into the HA Vortex :-(

    So sorry for your loss Inanna. I lost my sister a couple of years ago....it hurts x

  5. #15
    Join Date
    Jun 2014
    Posts
    11,592

    Re: Being Sucked into the HA Vortex :-(

    It's so awful that you can't even feel free to see your sister even now..It's a terrible situation but you must go if you want to because she is your sister and whatever has happened you should be allowed to say goodbye properly and decently x

    My condolences to you too, Nicole. I can only imagine the hurt and disbelief x

  6. #16
    Join Date
    Feb 2016
    Posts
    197

    Re: Being Sucked into the HA Vortex :-(

    Hi

    nicole, I’m so sorry for your loss, yes, it hurts...

    pulisa, I will go. I dreamed that my sister was still here, and she let me hug her. She was so thin and frail. I didn’t see her when she was really ill, and she was always a big woman, and I woke up so distressed.

    I had a terrible thud in my heart, and felt momentarily dizzy. I’m scared my heart is going to give out, and Im trying to support my poor mum. I can’t die on her , it would be too much for her right now . I really want to believe the wheelie bin theory, norab


    Inanna xx

  7. #17
    Join Date
    Feb 2016
    Posts
    197

    Re: Being Sucked into the HA Vortex :-(

    I am not coping at all.

    ive been getting a lot of pains in my caves and shins, and keep getting popping sensations, like bubbles in my calves. Then this morning I woke up with a horrible pain in my chest. It lasted about 20 to 30 seconds. I looked at my Fitbit and my heart was going at 95bpm! My resting heart rate is 54. I wasn’t having a bad dream, I was dreaming I was at a cocktail party with John le mesurer.

    my hand felt a little bit tingly.

    im so scared I got up and got dresssed in case I die, and the ambulance has to pick up my body.

    i just don’t know what to do...

    Inanna xxx
    Last edited by Inanna; 29-10-20 at 07:34.

  8. #18
    Join Date
    Jun 2014
    Posts
    11,592

    Re: Being Sucked into the HA Vortex :-(

    You're still alive despite your tryst with John Le Mesurier!

    If you're dying you won't be too bothered about getting dressed for the sake of decency.

    You're in a terrible panic but you're safe physically. Mentally it's a different matter. Can you talk to your GP about having a short course of diazepam in view of everything that is going on and the trauma you are experiencing? xx

  9. #19
    Join Date
    Mar 2016
    Posts
    1,880

    Re: Being Sucked into the HA Vortex :-(

    Quote Originally Posted by Inanna View Post
    I am not coping at all.
    Not coping involves sitting in a chair rocking - counting the seconds. It's not functioning. Trust me, you are coping better than you think..

    Then this morning I woke up with a horrible pain in my chest. It lasted about 20 to 30 seconds. I looked at my Fitbit and my heart was going at 95bpm! My resting heart rate is 54.
    Take the Fitbit off and put it away. People with health anxiety shouldn't use them.

    When my mother died, as in that night, I woke up with severe chest pain. That was 9 years ago. I'm still here. My heart, despite numerous tests, has always been fine.

    I wasnít having a bad dream, I was dreaming I was at a cocktail party with John le mesurer.
    You been watching Dad's Army on Gold?

    im so scared I got up and got dresssed in case I die, and the ambulance has to pick up my body.
    Mate, if you died you'd be going into a nice big bag which zips up. It really doesn't matter if you've got your best clothes on or skanky leggings with holes in the crotch. Nobody but you gives a crap, and even you won't give a crap when you're dead!

    i just donít know what to do...
    This is a crazy stressful time for you, but it will pass. Like Pulisa says, maybe some short term meds are in order? X
    __________________
    I'm not afraid of death because I don't believe in it. It's just getting out of one car, and into another. ~ John Lennon

  10. #20
    Join Date
    Jul 2018
    Posts
    159

    Re: Being Sucked into the HA Vortex :-(

    Thanks Inanna and Pulisa for your words. And thanks Nora for your contribution because your words always make me smile! Plus they always make sense!

    Grief hurts Inanna - mentally and physically. Be kind to yourself and realise what your are experiencing is completely normal....x

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