Long term health anxiety

[clarrie]

I am another long time health anxiety sufferer, I’m 64 and have had it on and off since a child. It’s got worse since I retired and moved from London. And it’s got a lot worse since the pandemic started. I live alone and I’m stuck with my anxious thoughts and negative mindset 24/7. This coming lockdown will just about finish me off as last time I was in a bubble with my sister who lives nearby but she’ll be caring for her daughter who’s recovering from an operation so she’s bubbling with her this time round.

In the course of a conversation with my doctor in the summer (he doesn’t see patients just does telephone consultations) he mentioned that I had stage 3 kidney disease which he’d failed to tell me before. I’ve been having regular annual blood tests for kidney function as I’ve been on blood pressure tablets for many years but I’d never been told they weren’t ok. I’ve been complaining about fatigue all year but now that I know my kidneys aren’t coping so well I’m all over the place. Doctor doesn’t seem concerned and blithely says there’s nothing that can be done but it’s sending me into a really bad place. What with that and neuropathy, my fears about heart attacks and dementia (both parents had both), acid reflux, IBS and a host of other minor complaints, I don’t know what to do next. The doctor won’t prescribe diazepam or anything like that and as I am quite upfront about my anxiety issues and their debilitating physical effects he doesn’t understand why I can’t just stop being anxious. I’ve done CBT three times in the past but the last two practitioners weren’t very good, plus I don’t drive so I can’t go much beyond local which is a bit of a backwater. Also, I’m not good with bad weather as I’ve had so many issues with damp in my property. And, my dog is very scared of fireworks at the moment and refusing to go out after dark, which is stressful. Sorry, too many worries for one post.

I think it just goes to show how lockdown is the last straw for some of us. I just want to go to bed and stay there, but it’s not an option. Thanks for reading.

[Lady Penelope]

Hello Clarrie

I just wanted to comment on your key stage 3 kidney disease. I was referred to the hospital for something minor about 15 years ago and noticed on the referral letter that I had stage 3 kidney disease. This had never been mentioned to me by anyone so I thought it was a mistake. I contacted the surgery and they said I had had it for about 5 years and it was picked up from a route blood test! I was shocked that not one mentioned it to me.
anyway to cut a long story short I have now had it for about 20 years. The readings never vary from one year to the next and it has never got any worse. I think it is quite common and there is nothing to be done apart from controlling blood pressure.
I am 61 now and have been on blood pressure medication for about 10 years.

My health anxiety started 10 years ago when I lost my dad. I was successfully treated with Anti depressants and CBT in 2017 and felt great for a while but it has crept back again. I am now on anti depressants again and started CBT last week so I am hopeful this combination will work for me again.

Health anxiety is an awful thing to live with and I really feel for you that you have had it for so long. I would recommend a you tube video on health anxiety by a lady called Paige Pradko. She explains it as a form of OCD.
I wish you all the best.

[Lady Penelope]

Hello
Scared Caz
I found a combination of CBT and anti depressants really helped me when I first had health anxiety a few years ago. I came of the anti depressants too soon I think and have now relapsed.
I am now back on anti depressants and started CBT this week via NHS.
I think it is worth you trying CBT. I see you are in the UK so you may be able to self refer yourself via your local IAPT service or ask your GP to refer you.
I wish you all the best

[pulisa]

I'm 61 and just feel that people of our age with long term MH issues can get a raw deal in terms of "treatment". Everything is geared towards younger people but older people are still visible and out there and deserving of respect. I'm sorry your GP was so dismissive of your kidney issues, Clarrie. You deserve a full explanation.

I've managed to get my own HA under control to a degree. I don't take meds but it's a personal choice. We shouldn't feel written off..

[ScaredCaz]

Hello
Scared Caz
I found a combination of CBT and anti depressants really helped me when I first had health anxiety a few years ago. I came of the anti depressants too soon I think and have now relapsed.
I am now back on anti depressants and started CBT this week via NHS.
I think it is worth you trying CBT. I see you are in the UK so you may be able to self refer yourself via your local IAPT service or ask your GP to refer you.
I wish you all the best

Hi Lady Penelope

Thanks for your reply

I have thought a lot recently about getting some long lasting long term help because I do sometimes feel this is not a life just an existence but when I don’t feel too bad I don’t want to think about it and when I’m bad I’m just so convinced I have some long term nasty illness I can’t think of nothing else

I feel like my HA is a little different because I can not stand the thought of having any kind of test or being referred to the hospital for anything absolutely scares the life out of me and I know it’s probably going to happen at some point in my life I’ve had 4 kids and I don’t know where I got the guts to have them from the thought of regular hospital visits even for something as lovely as a new baby makes me want to panic and I had a c section with my last one but that was 19 years ago

I’ve had blood tests which I am ok about because it’s just my local doc surgery but I am a mess when I have to ring for the results

I feel for everybody on this thread it really is a crippling form of anxiety

Best wishes to all

ScaredCaz x

[clarrie]

Hello Clarrie

I just wanted to comment on your key stage 3 kidney disease. I was referred to the hospital for something minor about 15 years ago and noticed on the referral letter that I had stage 3 kidney disease. This had never been mentioned to me by anyone so I thought it was a mistake. I contacted the surgery and they said I had had it for about 5 years and it was picked up from a route blood test! I was shocked that not one mentioned it to me.
anyway to cut a long story short I have now had it for about 20 years. The readings never vary from one year to the next and it has never got any worse. I think it is quite common and there is nothing to be done apart from controlling blood pressure.
I am 61 now and have been on blood pressure medication for about 10 years.

My health anxiety started 10 years ago when I lost my dad. I was successfully treated with Anti depressants and CBT in 2017 and felt great for a while but it has crept back again. I am now on anti depressants again and started CBT last week so I am hopeful this combination will work for me again.

Health anxiety is an awful thing to live with and I really feel for you that you have had it for so long. I would recommend a you tube video on health anxiety by a lady called Paige Pradko. She explains it as a form of OCD.
I wish you all the best.

Thank you Lady Penelope, that’s the first reassuring thing I’ve read about kidney disease. I am absolutely my own worst enemy when it comes to making myself unwell by brooding about what the doctor has said or not said and if I see a set of symptoms associated with a condition I can guarantee I’ll have at least two of them by the next day! Thank you for taking the time to respond, I will have a look at the YouTube video.

[pav1984]

I think you are being too hard on yourself when you say you aren't trying hard enough. Chances are you have tried very hard on numerous occasions.

Could it be that you stop working at a particular method before it takes effect? I'm terrible for it in a lot of things. The number of books I have read that I haven't put the technique into practice.

I did get over hand washing to the point where it doesn't even cross my mind as a problem anymore. I was awful and my hands were raw. It took time and consistency for it to work.

HA is just another form of ocd so cbt should work,you just need to stick at it and remain consistent.

I'm sure you are familiar with breaking the circle. Well this is just that. Stop obsessing and checking and if something is wrong dont Google. If you need advice ask a professional. This is why they go to university for years. And once you receive a diagnosis, trust them.

If you go to the doctors, ask about the illness you are worried about and why they believe it isnt that. You can use this information as an argument in your thought process at a later date

Remember to take a pen.

Also if you fall off the wagon, just get back on as soon as possible.

Sorry for the long post.

[sial72]

Hi there
Just to say I'm absolutely the same. I'm almost 48 and in perimenopause. I have had health anxiety for years but in the last 2 years I have hit rock bottom. As others have mentioned I used to get checked out and if results were ok I would be fine for some time but now I'm 100% convinced there is something going on and nothing doctors can say changes my mind. I have so many odd physical symptoms that I can't believe it's "just" anxiety. Plus I have googled so so much that whenever docs dismiss one illness I can think of others that can also cause my symptoms. Everyday is a struggle. I just started a new job 2 months ago, a job I really wanted and now I'm really considering giving it up. Sorry for the moan :(

[flatterycat]

Hi Sial72

Im sorry to hear you are struggling too. Please don’t think you are moaning - we all understand and it’s good to rant about it in a safe place.
x

[Inanna]

Hello Ladies

Please may I join this thread? I can identify so much with you all. I'm 57, and have HA for a very long time now. This year has been very hard for us all, on top of everything else.

I take HRT, but despite that, I still circle round the same fears. At the moment, I'm scared that there is something wrong with my heart. I tihink I had an anxiety/panic attack last night, my heart felt really fluttery for hours, and I started shaking, it was as if I was about to get on a plane (I have an intense fear of flying). But I don't know where it came from. and then I start to worry it was not anxiety, but my heart doing something sinister. I have been given some sertraline by my GP, but I'm too scared to take it, as I have heard anedoctally that the anxiety gets worse before it gets better, and I'm worried it will tip me over the edge.

Wishing you all some inner peace

Inanna xx