Re: I need to fix this
Originally Posted by
akirru
What makes me more sad is she actually has a genuine serious health condition. And here is me complaining constantly about my fears of the unknown.
Health anxiety is a genuine mental health disorder. Few people would choose to have it, so don't be too hard on yourself.
It was a hard time, but it gave me a unique understanding of mental health. I felt it matured me as a person.
17 is very young to be going through something like your mother being hospitalised due to mental health.
It was a melanoma. It confirmed my anxious thoughts. They didn't seem too concerned. They felt it was early stage. They removed more skin. Another 8 week wait to find out that it hadn't spread. She had optional lymph nodes removed and they found nothing. That was over 5 years ago. Even with all of this reassassurance it wasn't enough. I still felt they must have missed something.
I suspected my mother had ovarian cancer and I made her go to the doctors. I was right, she did have cancer, but they removed her bits and all was well. She died seven years later- cancer free. However, no nasty disease I have ever imagined for myself has come true...
I have done worse than this but I’m not sure if I’m ready to share. What the hell is wrong with me
It won't be anything we haven't done ourselves or read on here, trust me.
I need to fix this. I need help. I need someone to talk to. It's destroying my life. Just like my business has collapsed since Corona. Normally I would have had the strength to start again and just press on. I was good at that. But now I feel tired and useless.
You're certainly down, but by no means, out.
I came back from a nervous breakdown with HA. I didn't think I had the strength either, but it's amazing what determination can achieve...
I could wax lyrical about what you need to do to alleviate symptoms that come with health anxiety, and I have done in other threads, but there is only one thing that will truly fix you, and that's accepting that illness of some kind will happen to most of us in our lifetime and death will happen to all of us. Get your head around that, and you will kick HA to the gutter.
But it's not just about facing fear - it's about changing how you think and reframing situations. It's about living in the moment and the knowledge that people generally do get to choose their attitude in any given situation - even if the initial reaction is negative.
If you haven't already, go see your GP who can refer you for some CBT ( or you can self-refer via the NHS CBT page) or perhaps medication may help you short term if your anxiety is severe and you're struggling to function.
You've said that you are naturally a researcher? You could put that to good use by researching the crap out of health anxiety and anxiety symptoms so you can better understand the role which stress plays in fight or flight and the effects on the body which ultimately feed into the whole cycle of 'I have this symptom, there is something wrong with me, I'm going to die' Or someone else is going to die because HA can be about other people, rather than ourselves.
When it comes to worrying about the health of those we love, all we can do is accept their mortality - as we must our own - and make each moment count.
All the best to you.
Last edited by NoraB; 22-10-20 at 08:48.
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