Refusing to get out of bed today! My furlough on life....

[WiredIncorrectly]

Stood up and feel sick as a dog this is not good whatever I’ve got it must be food poisoning or a stomach bug blergh


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Phoenixess, you might laugh at this. I read your post where you said maybe you should get up for a walk. And I thought to myself "That's a good idea I'm going to get my shoes on and walk the dogs". I continued to read and then read you felt sick as a dog. Now I feel sick as a dog. I've just ate, but see how crazy anxiety is lol. My brain is already looking for ways to avoid the walk.

[Phoenixess]

Hi all.
I’ve taken two lots of paracetamol which helped and I’m starting to feel a bit more in the living than the dead. I’ve eaten bread and butter and managed to keep it down. Still got horrific heart burn and stomach pains. My mum has actually had similar symptoms but milder to mine. So hoping it passes soon.
Covid is a bitch and the media don’t help people I am furious at the government for downplaying things and misleading everyone that it’s ok to still go out and the confusion of multi tier lockdowns what a whole load of ********. Really?
We all know how serious covid is and what it does. We have been behaving as though we are back in the original lockdown you cannot trust others to be precautious like yourself.
I’m pretty certain nothing I do has put me a great risk of covid. As I haven’t caught it so far.
I don’t want anything to do with doctors GPs, walk-in centres, ambulances or any other medical professional if I can avoid it. However as someone mentioned I have been blessed with the fantastic mental health team here where I live I think due to
My reluctance to take medication for such a long period of time and my experience of depersonalisation they have been very good to me. Equally as I don’t drink alcohol and I’m not impulsive or all the other good stuff that gets you a bad reputation with mental health. I am finally getting the right support to start a new path. However this part of my journey is lonely depressing miserable and tough. And I am no way saying I have the worst life in the world
I doNt there are many people in a much worse place than I am. Just it’s nice to validate my feelings trying to build some self worth and being able to share with people who understand where I am coming from is imperative for my recovery.
I have faced some fears I have conquered things there are still many a thing I cannot do at the moment but that’s the thing it’s at the moment.
I will get there I hope because I have to it’s my life. Just got to take a step and breath a minute an hour a day at a time!
Night night all I’m off to my nightmares to have a good old trip in the grey matter xx


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[NoraB]

However I’ve just had enough! I’ve had enough! I can’t fight today I can’t see any positive things any more I just 100% want to curl up and hide. It’s my birthday a month today and I don’t want it. I don’t want anything I’m miserable I hate myself I hate my panic disorder I hate panic attacks it’s so humiliating and difficult. I’ve taken all the medication done everything everyone said and I am left like WTF am I even hanging around for. I’m a waste of space and energy and it’s just bloody pointless.
Brilliant well done life!

I generally advocate positivity but there is something to be said for occasionally giving positivity the V's and hiding under the duvet. It clears the air. When I'm on my own I go through as many swear words as have been invented, and with a few of my own. My neighbour must think I have Tourette's! I've had many days like these over the last 10 years, but the storm always passes. The clouds always roll away and many more metaphors which amount to the same thing - which is that these epically bad periods are transitory.

Once you've had a good moan, and it's out of your system, look for the lights in your life - no matter how small and seemingly insignificant. It all makes a difference.

Overweight, ill with anxiety? Learn to love yourself now while you feel shit. Don't wait for weight loss or better health or not having anxiety in order to be find happiness in life.

I've made that, 'I'll be happy when... mistake over and over again.

Feel shit and do it anyway cocker. X

[pulisa]

That's so true, Nora..Move over Claire bloody Weekes. ..I sense a book title there!

[NoraB]

Move over Claire bloody Weekes. ..I sense a book title there!

Feel Shit and Do it Anyway. - catchy innit?

[Carnation]

Sorry Nora, already been done with a couple of letter alterations at the beginning starting with F*** It!

[NoraB]

Sorry Nora, already been done with a couple of letter alterations at the beginning starting with F*** It!

Ah yes! I think I have that book somewhere.

[Carnation]

Me too, with about fifty others

[pulisa]

I've never read a single book on anxiety...I'm sure Claire Weekes has made a fortune from other people's distress and desperation.

[NoraB]

I've never read a single book on anxiety...I'm sure Claire Weekes has made a fortune from other people's distress and desperation.

Claire died 20 years ago but her words are as relevant as ever. I have loads of books on anxiety - most of which are currently out on loan lol