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Thread: Worst case scenario has happened & I am not coping

  1. #1
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    Jan 2017
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    Unhappy Worst case scenario has happened & I am not coping

    I am 39 year old asthmatic who has been deadly afraid of contracting COVID.
    Was super careful, but guess what? Looks like this idiot has caught the virus.

    I had a socially distanced dinner with my Dad last Sunday. Blankets were involved, we sat well apart.
    Yesterday I woke up with hives all over my arms. Weird, I never get hives. Oh no, that's a Corona symptom.
    But I was only in contact with Dad and he would have said something.
    Minutes later I got his text. It was like in a movie. "Had to get tested, someone I spent time with tested positive."
    But I'm sure he's fine, right? I'm sure his test will be negative.
    Guess who's Dad just got his positive result and is now symptomatic (headache, tiredness), but mostly feeling ok?

    I'm now sat here with my stupid hives (that very much look like a rash you get with COVID) monitoring my temp (normal so far)
    waiting for the other shoe to drop. I don't know how I will get through the coming weeks. I am petrified of landing in the hospital, even dying.
    I have severe health anxiety, so this is pretty much the worst thing that could happen.

    I will try to get tested tomorrow but at this point it's mostly for confirmation. I feel like such a massive, unlucky fool.
    And I'm scared to death.

  2. #2
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    Re: Worst case scenario has happened & I am not coping

    Hi Lushchicken, this is an entirely natural reaction when we consider all of the media stories that focus only on the negative/sensationalist of this pandemic. OK let's say you test positive. In your age group, the chances of severe disease are very slim even with asthma. My niece who is in her mid 30s had swollen toes like chilblains and she recovered with minimal symptoms. Of course you will be scared, I would be too. Take care.
    __________________
    'It was a wedding ring, destined to be found in a cheap hotel, lost in a kitchen sink, or thrown in a wishing well' - Marillion, Clutching at Straws, 1987

  3. #3
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    Re: Worst case scenario has happened & I am not coping

    Thank you for your kind words. It's been all doom and gloom in the media, so it's very hard to have an optimistic outlook. I quite rational, usually. I need to get back there.

  4. #4
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    Re: Worst case scenario has happened & I am not coping

    Quote Originally Posted by Lushchicken View Post
    Thank you for your kind words. It's been all doom and gloom in the media, so it's very hard to have an optimistic outlook. I quite rational, usually. I need to get back there.
    I would be feeling just the same, the media only concentrates on the bad news. If we think that anxiety levels among the general population are high, then those of us with a pre-existing anxiety diagnosis suffer a double whammy. And anxiety isn't rational. But the statistics are on your side.
    __________________
    'It was a wedding ring, destined to be found in a cheap hotel, lost in a kitchen sink, or thrown in a wishing well' - Marillion, Clutching at Straws, 1987

  5. #5
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    Re: Worst case scenario has happened & I am not coping

    You are very right, thank you!

  6. #6
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    Re: Worst case scenario has happened & I am not coping

    It must be hard for you, Lushchicken but you have no choice but to look after yourself and try to keep things in perspective. Your fears will be worse than any symptoms. We are here for you if you need help and support. I hope your dad is doing ok..You'll get through this and be stronger mentally as a result.

  7. #7
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    Jan 2017
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    Re: Worst case scenario has happened & I am not coping

    Indeed. There's no way to avoid this, I have to get through the next couple of weeks somehow. Spoke to Dad and his only symptom is tiredness. And boredom lol So he's not doing bad at all considering he must have caught this well over a week ago.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
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    Re: Worst case scenario has happened & I am not coping

    @LushChicken, your fears and anxieties are totally understandable. But that’s all they are: fears and anxieties. They’re not a premonition of the future and they’re certainly not a fact.

    I tested positive for COVID last week. I was petrified. I had convinced myself that if I got it this would be the end. I also have asthma, and major, major health anxiety. I knew that if I got it, it would get me. I heard all the success stories of people beating it at home and I thought, “I’m different than them. I’m not as strong as they are.” Guess what, a week in and I’m still here and am actually feeling a bit better! I would describe my experience so far as a mild-bad head cold, with accompanying waves of tiredness. I’ve barely had to use my rescue inhaler this week, and when I did it was for symptoms “above the shoulder”, not issues with lungs. Loss of taste and smell sucks, but is manageable. Minor gastrointestinal symptoms hit last night (I’ll spare you the details &#128522, but I like to think that was the virus’s last hurrah and it showing itself out of my body (literally lol)

    You might be in a bit of a state of shock right now, and that’s okay. Nurture yourself. Curl up with a blanket and a cup of tea. Let yourself feel what you need to feel.

    Do you plan to get tested? Or are you just going to isolate and recover at home? If you are going to get tested, be prepared for another blow if the result comes back positive. I knew I had it before I got my results, but still, seeing the positive result was hard. Hard, but doable. It’s just something you have to get through, and all you can do is ride it out. We’ll be here for you.

    I would recommend Vitamin C, D, and zinc. And steams! Both in the form of nice long hot showers where you breathe deeply, and a DIY steam. Boil some water, put it in a bowl, stick your head over it with a towel thrown over it and nice and long deeeep breaths. If you have some essential oils, throw that in! If not, just the steam will help keep your lungs hydrated and strong, and it will help relax you as well.

    You are going to be okay. Would reassurance help right now? A breakdown of my experience? Facts that support the fact that you WILL get through this? Because you will! I have every faith that you’re going to be okay.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jan 2017
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    57

    Re: Worst case scenario has happened & I am not coping

    Thank you so much for that wonderful post. I've been reading your thread, actually and it has helped me a lot. Like you, I'm just very good at convincing myself that I will be one of the super unlucky ones at our age who gets it severely. I always feel I'm super unlucky with health things. Even now, I struggle with understanding how I might have caught this from Dad in a socially distanced outdoor situation. Seems beyond unlucky, so I'm also feeling a bit sorry for myself because it seems so unfair. I'm only on day 3 of 'symptoms' and apart from that weird rash (that has gone away) I'm practically symptom free. I have the occasional productive cough, but that's normal for me in autumn (heating, dry air). Will be firing up the humidifiers tonight.

    I am planning to sort out testing with my GP tomorrow, so I just know where I'm at. I really don't want to, but it seems like the sensible thing to do. Right now I still feel like I can get away with 'feeling normal' because I don't have positive test result. So yeah, not looking forward to that potential positive.

    I've been on vitamin D for over a year and am hard-lining an echinacea supplement (purple cornflower which supposedly helps your immune system, very popular in Switzerland). The steam is a good one. Had a shower earlier and it def cleared things a bit, even though I don't feel massively congested. But I have a little steamer and will probably get that out at some point. I just feel so incredibly normal at the moment. But my health anxiety makes me wait for 'THE BAD TURN', of course. So I'm just on edge, mostly.

    Plan is to just take it easy this week. Isolate and look after my body. Give it what it needs. I don't think there's much more I can do, really.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
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    66

    Re: Worst case scenario has happened & I am not coping

    @Lushchicken, you’re doing everything right. I’m thinking of you today, and I hope you’re feeling okay and that the test goes well. You may not have it! You never know. The good news is that you’re over a week into exposure and so far things haven’t progressed badly. Keep us updated if that will help. I was where you are a week ago, absolutely terrified and not knowing what’s going to happen next. Now, I feel like I’m 70-80% back to normal, with just random waves of tiredness and a lingering cough (and also going a little stir crazy stuck in my room for two weeks!) In a week from now you’ll be where I am now, (maybe even feeling closer to 100%!) and will be able help somebody else who is scared. You’ll be able to say, “I was scared, but I made it!” Focus on that as much as you can. Lots of healing and love coming your way!

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