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Thread: Wish i didnít go on a different forum

  1. #1
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    Jun 2017
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    Wish i didnít go on a different forum

    Hi my recent posts regarding what if i abused someone from a cheating incident. I posted this in a different site and the feedback has set me off on a massive scale of worry.

  2. #2
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    Re: Wish i didnít go on a different forum

    I have even googled what is sexual assault. This is what my thoughts are doing to me.

  3. #3
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    Re: Wish i didnít go on a different forum

    You don't HAVE to act on thoughts. You have the choice not to. Don't google.

  4. #4
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    Re: Wish i didnít go on a different forum

    Quote Originally Posted by ankietyjoe View Post
    You don't HAVE to act on thoughts. You have the choice not to. Don't google.
    I recently started another post similar to this in relation to HA and you're spot on.
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  5. #5
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    Re: Wish i didnít go on a different forum

    Homer, talk it through then. Even on here we get people who don't understand sexual themes in anxiety and assume it's abuse. But on here anxiety themes like this are discussed as you will see from many threads and in the years I've been here I know only a few posts raised the issue of abuse and they were not inline with what medical professionals tell us.

    And remember not to listen to a 1% outlier person who is bigoted (If they are not aware of medical opinions on sexual themes) when 99% disagree with them.

    I'm saying this without knowledge of what you posted. Just concerned poor advice might be in play.

    Edit: just read your recent reply to Nora. Sounds consensual and you still know each other which strongly suggests this isn't what you fear as why would they want to know you? It's guilt and anxiety. If you have worked through this with your wife, and she is satisfied it's done & dusted, it's about you. Beware dredging it up and upsetting her. Working through it as an issue you have and with a therapist would be better as it won't potentially damage your relationship as reassurance seeking via a confession compulsive could.
    Last edited by MyNameIsTerry; 26-10-20 at 06:28.
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  6. #6
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    Re: Wish i didnít go on a different forum

    Hi thanks for the replyís. I didnít tell my wife terry.. i can tell itís my ocd ruminating over and over making me believe itís true when that thought came. I no itís because i feel guilty even if it was 5 yrs ago ish. It was just me wanting certainty that i,m not that sort of person( abuser) i did google other day to find out what is sexual abuse etc. This other site i went on the feedback was horrible like i was the villain.

  7. #7
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    Re: Wish i didnít go on a different forum

    Quote Originally Posted by Homer47 View Post
    I didn’t tell my wife terry..
    Why didn't you tell your wife?
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  8. #8
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    Re: Wish i didnít go on a different forum

    Because it would cause heartache and trouble i guess.

  9. #9
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    Re: Wish i didnít go on a different forum

    Quote Originally Posted by Homer47 View Post
    Because it would cause heartache and trouble i guess.
    Heartache for her and trouble for you, right?

    Heartache is generally a given with infidelity Homer, but honesty matters in my opinion. However, there is a time-frame for honesty when it comes to cheating and five years is too long to be confessing in order to ease your own guilt - which is most likely the cause of the OCD issue which is giving you so much trouble.

    Ultimately, it's a fess up or bury it deal, Homer, and you need professional help to work out which it's going to be for your wife's sake, as well as your own.

    I'm always going to be slightly biased because I was cheated on. It aint pleasant. But I'm not so biased that I can't see that you are paying for what you did with a life of severe anxiety and distressing thoughts.

    Please
    seek some help.
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  10. #10
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    Jun 2017
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    147

    Re: Wish i didnít go on a different forum

    I,ll take that on the chin Nora your right there. Regarding help over the years i have seen therapist etc. But for an example of worryís not to much in-depth. Mainly harm ocd regarding against my daughter which was the worse of any kind, then it progressed to anyone and still now. But the tools i have been given and books that i have read have eased this harm. Basically got used to it. Weíre as the current worry thatís what i was like as a kid . Did i do wrong then i would have to confess to get the happy feeling back. Like now i,m after that happy feeling back. With the harm it was only when someone was near me on my own didnít really bother me until next time. So my extreme worrying is been around since o was 10/11 still now obviously canít see me ever ocd free. But now and again i might get a flare up. Like you say it was yrs ago i need to leave it there.

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