I confided into a friend the other day, who knows I suffer from health anxiety as well as generalised anxiety, and he said that it sounds like I have OCD. I said I don't obsessively clean and he said no, thinking ritual OCD. Now I didn't want to Google this but I thought as it isn't to do with cancer or any other dangerous diseases, I did and it kind of fits.

An example is I will have a really awful dream about something and then I will obsessively think about that dream day and night, it causes me to have physical symptoms of anxiety then I am always talking inside my head about x and y and how it will not happen, and if it does happen, what am I going to do about it, etc. That's all I do. I am working overtime and excessively at work to try and NOT think about it as it lasts for weeks on end. Same with health anxiety I have to reassure myself that everything will be OK, and that it is not possible. Another one happened a few years ago (breaks my heart thinking about it but thankfully my son is healthy), that I had a dream of haemmorhaging during my pregnancy and when I woke up, I was in such a huge panic I was running around the house, checking my knickers every 2 mins for bleeding, feeling my tummy, talking to my baby in there, telling him to hold on, please don't go. Then I wouldn't get up from the bed, I would just lay there and not move because I thought stimulation would mean it would happen. I avoided sex completely during this time. My husband didn't have a clue what was wrong but I was a complete wreck.

Its absolutely exhausting. My brain is always in overdrive then at work, I am obsessively working and really getting into it and people ask me if I'm OK or tired and I say no I'm fine but even they can see my mind is on overdrive.

Does anyone else get this thinking ritual OCD type? Never thought of it til my friend mentioned it now I think I've got OCD now! Ps mental health runs in my family, so if wouldn't surprise me if I did have it. Never ending illnesses :(