I haven't posted on that old thread for ages.
Even if I'm feeling like death, I'm trying not to discuss it or whinge about it. I save it all for my psychologist and then just try and get back to ignoring it and cracking on in the meantime.
I have no idea if any of it is helping, but that's what I'm trying to do.
I'm approaching it differently, I don't feel better.
Hoping the latter follows the former eventually.
Trying to crack on, and accept the feelings will leave when they are ready. I've also been pushing my boundaries... hard!
How are you doing?
You don't have to feel better to recognise progress. The fact that you aren't hyper negative about everything is a good start, and the key thing I was trying to push in your other thread was acceptance, and here you are accepting
All good here thanks bud, within the realms of what's possible!
There will be a true test of my acceptance today. I've just pushed way way out of my comfort zone for an hour with my psychologist, didn't run, just tolerated it stayed for half hour or so, and have just got back home. That was tough, so I'm going to accept why is was tough and be easy on myself for the rest of today.
I don't mind getting anxious so much when I am pushing, as I know why.
The constant anxiety that follows, after I've pushed my boundaries, and brought on expected panic attacks in the process, is a frustrating one for me, turns what could be perceived as a positive into a negative. I wish I could just forget it after and move on.
Why concern yourself with the perception of positive or negative? Why not just accept something as 'is'?
All you're trying to do is re-regulate your panic response to benign situations. If in the process of forcing yourself to feel anxiety you actually feel anxiety, how can that be positive or negative? You've undertaken an action to illicit a response, and succeeded. By tagging it negative, you're undoing some of the work you've done. It just is, don't attach emotion to it.
I don't mean that I'm sitting back and coming to the conclusion that it's a negative, I just mean that the ramifications make me worse, so afterwards, I am left in a worse place than I was before.
This isn't a good example, because I actually overdid it, it wasn't a little push with anxiety I could tolerate, it was a massive push that wiped me out, but I resisted the urge to leave, and saw it through, so even in them circumstances, I didn't back down or shy away... I suppose a short term backlash is expected, just got to let it ride.
Edit - Letting it ride isn't going so well. 😔
Last edited by LittleLionMan; 10-11-20 at 13:32.
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