Son's ex-wife in ICU

[fishman65]

Some alarming and distressing news today. My son's ex wife and mother to his two sons has been admitted to intensive care. She is currently sedated but tests for Covid have come back negative twice. She is testing positive for pneumonia though. But after speaking to my son it seems she felt unwell last week. Of course I can't jump to conclusions, but the pattern does seem in line with Covid disease progression.

My son is asking for a home testing kit to be sent out as his two boys to and fro between them regularly. I dropped off the eldest grandson's medication this morning and worked out son and his GF would have been here early last week. Not seen them since. We haven't seen the ex for quite a while now but we got on with her even though the split was acrimonious. Luckily she's early 40s though carrying quite a bit of weight and a smoker. Reality hits. I just hope she'll be ok.

[Pamplemousse]

It is possible that it's 'just' pneumonia - I've had a couple of friends contract it in the past, seemingly from nowhere.

As I often tell people (but somehow am deaf to it myself) - when Covid rolled into town like John Wayne, the rest of the diseases didn't saddle up and ride out.

I hope she gets well soon, FM65.

[fishman65]

It is possible that it's 'just' pneumonia - I've had a couple of friends contract it in the past, seemingly from nowhere.

As I often tell people (but somehow am deaf to it myself) - when Covid rolled into town like John Wayne, the rest of the diseases didn't saddle up and ride out.

I hope she gets well soon, FM65.

Thanks PM anxiety starts talking for me at such times. And I think you're right because I just got off the phone from son and she's tested negative again for Covid. Like you say though, traditional pneumonia is no laughing matter but hopefully they can treat it with ABs.

I 'think' I came across as a little too concerned on the phone, his lady friend was there. But I've known his ex since 2005 and you can't just erase that like it never happened.

[WiredIncorrectly]

Sorry to hear this fishman65. Praying she recovers well.

[AntsyVee]

His lady friend is going to have to get over it. The ex is the mother of your two grandsons. They are going to be super scared and upset. Everyone's first priority should be them. Whether she has pneumonia or covid, that's nothing you all can control now. You're all going to have to let the docs take care of her. But everyone can spend time with those boys, whether over the phone or FaceTime or whatever, and reassure them that the docs are doing everything they can for their mom and no matter what happens, people are around who love them.

Sorry you're dealing with this, FM.

[pulisa]

You must feel very shaken by the news and your grandsons are certainly going to need loads of reassurance and support. I hope you get clearer news very soon and that she starts to respond to treatment.

[fishman65]

Thanks guys, the dynamics of the family are certainly more complex than they used to be. But people get bored with each other and move on, or at least some do. And then you can end up with the seeds of chaos sown in drills of irresponsibility. Kids here, there and everywhere and none of them ever having a father in their life. I buck that trend by being a sticker, but at what price to myself?

But yes at least if its plain old pneumonia it should respond and she's young enough for a better outcome.

[Pamplemousse]

Have they determined what type of pneumonia it is yet, FM65?

[NoraB]

I 'think' I came across as a little too concerned on the phone, his lady friend was there. But I've known his ex since 2005 and you can't just erase that like it never happened.

If your son's lady friend can't find empathy in this situation - then I'd question her suitability for your son? Then again, his life and all that. Exes will always be in the equation where children are concerned, and, like you say, you don't stop caring for a son or daughter in law just because the marriage broke down..

I hope your ex DIL gets well soon.

[MyNameIsTerry]

Fishman I'm sorry to hear this. I hope she gets well soon. Now she's in hospital they can give her proper breathing support and it really helps really fast. Being a smoker her lungs will struggle more and it may be she needs more attention until she can be transferred into the generals.

I had it at 18 with asthma. Woke up in the night feeling like someone was crushing my ribs. Off in an ambulance not long afterwards. The week before I had some lung issues but it didn't stop me going to college and out drinking. Getting onto oxygen was such a help. The nebulizers were also great. Such a relief. A few days later I was fine and out within a week. Took months to get my health back though so she may need m9re support and that may mean more help with the kids so the new partner may have to get over that.

My mum had pneumonia a few ago too. Being in her seventies with asthma and various health issues of that age she was off to hospital for a week. Within a couple of days she was much better after a combination of oral and IV antibiotics.

So people with pre existing breathing issues can get much better very quickly. It may be the same with her?

Hearing ICU is always very scary. But she's in the best place in the hospital right now with top staff and all the best treatments to hand. She may respond very quickly to breathing support whilst they stop it in its tracks with IV antibiotics. So just a waiting game with thoughts trying to run wild but try to keep them rational. You know the kids need you all right now. You've got us lot if you need us.