I don’t know how to make them stop they are running my life and I feel so messed up and ashamed of myself and an awful person. I can’t talk to any friends or family about them, they wold probably hate me and never speak to me again. I also can’t speak to a doctor I feel so ashamed and beyond help. I feel like I’m going mad I feel so unwell, I either cry of just feel nothing and numb.

Do medications make them stop? Or just reduce the anxiety symptoms? But if I take meds it means I have to tell a GP and I don’t think I can. And seeing a therapist will be the same. I can’t say what they are because writing them down or saying them out loud will only make them more real.

I sometimes think I enjoy having these thoughts but I really don’t, but it’s like my mind is playing tricks with me and I feel like I need to move away and be alone because I feel like I don’t deserve the people in my life because I’m not a good person.