Results 1 to 5 of 5

Thread: I'm constantly living in fear and I can't cope anymore

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Dec 2015
    Posts
    76

    I'm constantly living in fear and I can't cope anymore

    I've suffered for so long now. Over 16 years almost and I am getting worse, especially this year. I paid private for a mental health evaluation and turns out I have Depression, severe Health Anxiety, and severe OCD (several types), which is fear of being contaminated with poison. Example if I pick up something, like washing powder then I eat something after, I think I forgot to wash my hands and then I fear that I've poisoned myself and then I go insane. I pace up and down, I make myself vomit..I am literally a mess. Another fear is choking on food, despite never choked on food before, I would faf about with meat and fish to ensure there's no bones in them and when I 'feel' like I swallowed a sharp bone, I immediately lose my appetite and throw my food in the bin and start to become irrational. Another fear is taking medication and cardiophobia. I am not sure where my OCD tenancies has stemmed from it probably came from health anxiety but I am literally beginning to give up. I constantly have heartburn, tiredness and sadness because of my symptoms and irrational thoughts. I am crying almost every day. I can't function properly, my child is neglected because I am always over thinking. My family think I'm crazy for thinking these ridiculous thoughts and my GP, I could hear it in her voice that I am wasting her time she just told me to meditate. I've tried all of those things!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Dec 2018
    Posts
    24

    Re: I'm constantly living in fear and I can't cope anymore

    Quote Originally Posted by Anxietysufferer92 View Post
    I've suffered for so long now. Over 16 years almost and I am getting worse, especially this year. I paid private for a mental health evaluation and turns out I have Depression, severe Health Anxiety, and severe OCD (several types), which is fear of being contaminated with poison. Example if I pick up something, like washing powder then I eat something after, I think I forgot to wash my hands and then I fear that I've poisoned myself and then I go insane. I pace up and down, I make myself vomit..I am literally a mess. Another fear is choking on food, despite never choked on food before, I would faf about with meat and fish to ensure there's no bones in them and when I 'feel' like I swallowed a sharp bone, I immediately lose my appetite and throw my food in the bin and start to become irrational. Another fear is taking medication and cardiophobia. I am not sure where my OCD tenancies has stemmed from it probably came from health anxiety but I am literally beginning to give up. I constantly have heartburn, tiredness and sadness because of my symptoms and irrational thoughts. I am crying almost every day. I can't function properly, my child is neglected because I am always over thinking. My family think I'm crazy for thinking these ridiculous thoughts and my GP, I could hear it in her voice that I am wasting her time she just told me to meditate. I've tried all of those things!
    Hi,

    I know how you feel, you are not alone. I have heartburn all day most days and for me itís the main driver I believe of my low mood and OCD. I have become terrified of cancer, symptoms, swallowing, reflux and obsess over medical reports and seek out tests. Then they say itís anxiety despite it all feeling very real and that there is something going on and no one can seem to convince me otherwise.

    I started to cut stressors from my life, my job was dull, boring and meaningless so I quit last night. Small amount of regret and but on the whole I think itís for the best to get my head in a better place.

    I would agree that setting time aside to practice being mindful will help you see your irrational thoughts more and learn how to interact with them. Remember, itís the way you react to your thoughts that drive how you feel, control the thoughts and youíll have more control on how you feel.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Mar 2016
    Posts
    1,910

    Re: I'm constantly living in fear and I can't cope anymore

    Quote Originally Posted by Anxietysufferer92 View Post
    My family think I'm crazy for thinking these ridiculous thoughts and my GP, I could hear it in her voice that I am wasting her time she just told me to meditate. I've tried all of those things!
    Change your GP. You have severe OCD and it's going to take more than staring at a teabag to sort this out.

    You're not alone. I have OCD, (checking, intrusive thoughts) also symmetry which might overlap with autism, but I do know that I get very agitated if things are not symmetrical. Actually, it is more OCD on thinking about it..

    Anyway, start by changing your GP because this one obviously doesn't have a clue about OCD.

    All the best.
    __________________
    I'm not afraid of death because I don't believe in it. It's just getting out of one car, and into another. ~ John Lennon

  4. #4
    Join Date
    May 2014
    Posts
    7,198

    Re: I'm constantly living in fear and I can't cope anymore

    Anxietysufferer92, the heading of your post reminisces with so many sufferers, so never feel you are alone in your suffering.
    Life can be overwhelming, especially for people like us.
    And Nora's suggestion of changing your GP is certainly a good start to having the support you need to understand the way you feel.
    Don't try to tackle all your issues at once. And as fear seems to be at the base of all your issues it is the fear that needs to be overcome bit by bit.
    Most importantly, don't be so hard on yourself.
    Maybe start with the food issues and avoid all meals that could set you off so you become more confident with your eating. It doesn't matter if you eat different to the rest of the family if what you eat gives you more calm.
    That's where I would start.
    Take one step at a time. You are a survivor and you can get through this. x

  5. #5
    Join Date
    May 2013
    Posts
    16

    Re: I'm constantly living in fear and I can't cope anymore

    I feel like your post could have been written by me. I feel the same things you do. Unfortunately, I have not found a way to deal with these issues yet, but I wanted you to know you are not alone.

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Similar Threads

  1. Feel like I cant cope with this fear anymore.
    By Zelly80 in forum Symptoms
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 19-10-20, 02:56
  2. Massive fear for my partner...can't cope anymore
    By white1989 in forum IBS, IBD, Bowel, Stomach problems
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 21-10-15, 13:17
  3. Dont want to be here anymore living like this
    By chl_hobbs in forum Health Anxiety
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 03-06-13, 16:11
  4. Can't cope with this breast fear anymore
    By debbsi in forum Female health issues
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 13-10-12, 09:57
  5. Cant cope with the worry and fear anymore
    By MVP123 in forum General Anxiety / Generalised anxiety disorder (GAD)
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 08-06-11, 22:23

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •