I'm constantly living in fear and I can't cope anymore

[Anxietysufferer92]

UPDATE: (£100 later!)

Had the scan. I drank enough water so thankfully didn't need to have the probe up there lol results are:
Uterus is anteverted, no abnormalities seen and demonstrates a normal endometrium
Both ovaries appear normal in size, shape, no growths or masses seen
No pelvic free fluid seen
All normal and no concerns

Phew.. So I can definitely rule out ovarian cancer metastasis.. Which was my worry in the first place! I feel like a right twonk saying that. I am feeling a lot less lighter. I am not out of the woods, mind. I have had other tests done to rule out my intestinal issues today at the GP surgery too. Stool samples and blood tests have been taken already to see if there's any infection there.

I think it will be a Chinese takeaway tonight to start putting some weight back on.

[Anxietysufferer92]

Sorry you are feeling such despair and fear. When I'm in a spiral I turn to books to try and escape the scary thoughts. I'm reading How to stop worrying and start living by Dale Carnegie and although it was written many years ago, I'm finding it full of good advice. I bought the ebook so I can read it on my phone if I'm not at home and need to calm down. The other thing I find helpful is to listen to a fiction audiobook. Because I have to pay attention to the story it stops me focussing on my thoughts.


Something else you could try is not fighting or judging yourself for your feelings. This week I've had dreadful anxiety about my daughter's health and was feeling a huge amount of despair. Then I heard a podcast where it was suggested that when you are full of fear and anxiety you should set a timer for 5 minutes and let your thoughts and feelings go. I got in my car and drove to a quiet area and then let myself lose it. I cried and spoke all my fears out loud. I sat there sobbing and saying all the darkest things I'd been worrying about. Then, after about 3 minutes I realised I had nothing left. I'd said and cried over everything. Suddenly I felt exhausted, but a lot calmer. I switched off the alarm, went home and had a sleep. I felt a lot better when I woke up.


All the very best to you x

So sorry to hear about that. I understand how you feel. I cried my eyes out last night because I couldn't cope anymore. When it comes to our children, our fears are something else. The amount of times I've been terrified when my little one is ill, I remember one time he kept coming out in bruises and my anxiety went into absolute overdrive. I hope you are on the mend now.. Absolute torture living and fighting with our head when it comes to anxiety x

[pulisa]

UPDATE: (£100 later!)

Had the scan. I drank enough water so thankfully didn't need to have the probe up there lol results are:
Uterus is anteverted, no abnormalities seen and demonstrates a normal endometrium
Both ovaries appear normal in size, shape, no growths or masses seen
No pelvic free fluid seen
All normal and no concerns

Phew.. So I can definitely rule out ovarian cancer metastasis.. Which was my worry in the first place! I feel like a right twonk saying that. I am feeling a lot less lighter. I am not out of the woods, mind. I have had other tests done to rule out my intestinal issues today at the GP surgery too. Stool samples and blood tests have been taken already to see if there's any infection there.

I think it will be a Chinese takeaway tonight to start putting some weight back on.

Well worth £100 which is pretty cheap for all that reassuring info. I've just paid double that amount for my guinea pig's inflammatory bladder investigations!

Very pleased for you and enjoy your meal tonight!

[pulisa]

So sorry to hear about that. I understand how you feel. I cried my eyes out last night because I couldn't cope anymore. When it comes to our children, our fears are something else. The amount of times I've been terrified when my little one is ill, I remember one time he kept coming out in bruises and my anxiety went into absolute overdrive. I hope you are on the mend now.. Absolute torture living and fighting with our head when it comes to anxiety x

Like Carrie says..I think tears and letting it all out is far better than internalising it all and paying the price with worsening physical symptoms

[swajj]

I’m glad you received good results. I used to be one of the people on here who advised against getting tested. I don’t advise that anymore. I also used to be opposed to giving reassurance. I’ve changed my mind on that one as well. I actually feel guilty about how dismissive I have been of some people’s symptoms on here in the past. When I first came to this board there was a member called Meg. I’m sure Nicole and some of the current members who were around then remember her. Meg was very knowledgeable ( I think she was a nurse) and she was great at giving people reassurance. I read many of her posts before I ever posted on here. For example, if I was worried about my breathing I would search for explanations she had given members on breathing issues and I almost always felt better after reading what she had to say. Later there was an old doctor around and he was even more knowledgeable than Meg and just as good at explaining symptoms. I’ve had HA for many years and had many years of therapy. I’ve had long periods where I was recovered. I manage my HA very well now. I never Google symptoms and I try to ignore any symptoms I get. The answer to overcoming HA lies in the latter. I’m getting better at ignoring symptoms. Good luck with your other results.

[Anxietysufferer92]

This could be my life. Exactly here too. It’s so upsetting that despite therapy and meds I’m having a relapse of sorts. I’m terrified. I can’t eat or function. I’m just so exhausted by it all. Their are times I get weary and completely irrational. Currently I’m having one of these spells and can’t see a way out. Please know you’re not alone.

Unfortunately therapy has never worked for me. Maybe I need to give it another go but when it gets to that point... I just don't know what else to do. I'm currently unable to eat a thing due to this awful anxiety. My body just won't take it but I HAVE to gain weight again as I've lost so much of it :(

[Anxietysufferer92]

Well worth £100 which is pretty cheap for all that reassuring info. I've just paid double that amount for my guinea pig's inflammatory bladder investigations!

Very pleased for you and enjoy your meal tonight!

Ahhhh guinea pigs though! I used to have 2! Always wanted more but they squeak too much lol hope your piggie is feeling better now. Thank you I did enjoy some of it but couldn't eat as much as I wanted :(

[Anxietysufferer92]

I’m glad you received good results. I used to be one of the people on here who advised against getting tested. I don’t advise that anymore. I also used to be opposed to giving reassurance. I’ve changed my mind on that one as well. I actually feel guilty about how dismissive I have been of some people’s symptoms on here in the past. When I first came to this board there was a member called Meg. I’m sure Nicole and some of the current members who were around then remember her. Meg was very knowledgeable ( I think she was a nurse) and she was great at giving people reassurance. I read many of her posts before I ever posted on here. For example, if I was worried about my breathing I would search for explanations she had given members on breathing issues and I almost always felt better after reading what she had to say. Later there was an old doctor around and he was even more knowledgeable than Meg and just as good at explaining symptoms. I’ve had HA for many years and had many years of therapy. I’ve had long periods where I was recovered. I manage my HA very well now. I never Google symptoms and I try to ignore any symptoms I get. The answer to overcoming HA lies in the latter. I’m getting better at ignoring symptoms. Good luck with your other results.

Yes I was also one of those people as well...but I know how hard it is. Its so hard and the reason I did advise against it is because the anticipation is far worse than the actual procedure and that's what frightened me the most. Makes sense and puts it all into perspective when someone else explains the symptoms, but it is shortlived.. Its like the circuit in our brain just gets switched off a few minutes afterwards. Its so annoying and very distressing sometimes. Thank you very much i hope it goes OK with the results. I will keep you all posted. Thank you all x

[Scass]

Glad you got the results you wanted.
After years of suffering and not doing much about it, my digestive system finally revolted (literally) and I suffer on off with reflux, heartburn, gastritis etc. It’s also very common to affect your bowels etc too, like it is with you. I also lost weight- about 3 stone, and couldn’t believe it was because I wasn’t eating, I wish I could have enjoyed that weight loss more .


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[Fishmanpa]

Unfortunately therapy has never worked for me. Maybe I need to give it another go but when it gets to that point... I just don't know what else to do. I'm currently unable to eat a thing due to this awful anxiety. My body just won't take it but I HAVE to gain weight again as I've lost so much of it :(

I've said this on one of your other threads but based on your recent thread/post history, it's quite apparent you're pretty deep in a rabbit hole It may be prudent at this point to look into some real life help. Hope you feel better soon.

Positive thoughts