Well here we go... 150mg

[panic_down_under]

This is really hard but I am determined to try this before I ask for a medication review as it seems every year I am having to increase the dose. I do wonder how effective the ven actually is for me as I never had to do this on Citalopram and then ven has never really improved my mood.

It might be that venlafaxine is not the right med for you, Ava, but it could also be that the dose has been inadequate all along too. It only begins to function as a SNRI at doses around 225mg/day, albeit being still only a weak noradrenaline/norepinephrine reuptake inhibitor.

[Paradise10]

Thanks PDU, I think you are more than likely right, it is one or the other and I know I will need to make a decision re my meds at some point soon.

Not been a good couple of days at all. I would say my anxiety is constant at the moment at about an 8-9 all day, then ramps up into a panic attack multiple times a day dependant on my thoughts and feelings. It really isn't a nice place to be. I am getting tired as it's exhausting doing this all day, didn't sleep that great either last night.
Went to see the doctor yesterday morning, wasn't my regular doctor though. I told him about my anxiety, told him about the aches around my breast and in my side. Also told him my fear of what it was. He has arranged some blood tests for next Wednesday and also referred me for a chest x-ray which he said would take 2-3 weeks. This sent my anxiety through the roof. I was that freaked out I forgot to mention my water infection. I came home and emailed them and they have sent a prescription for antibiotics to the chemist for my uti, and I have also asked for a private referral for the x-ray as the private hospital said they would be able to do most likely Tuesday next week. Which is much better than 2-3 weeks. Spent the rest of the day in a never ending panic attack.
I told the doctor I was trying self help cbt for my anxiety, but now I am questioning that as the anxiety is really bad. I really just want it to stop.

NHS CBT is February, maybe I should pay private as I'm not sure I am doing it right on my own.

Not taken any diazepam even though I have 7 or 8, really not sure what to do for the best. Maybe I just need to get on these antibiotics for a couple of days and get this x-ray out the way then I might be able to manage? Even Tuesday seems forever away to wait when I am feeling like this.

Today me and my husband are going to get my antibiotics then he suggested we get some board games while we are out and play those this afternoon and watch a film tonight. I really hope today is a better day.

take care all, Ava x

[panic_down_under]

Not taken any diazepam even though I have 7 or 8, really not sure what to do for the best.

If you need to take them then please do so, Ava. White-knuckling through anxiety is counterproductive as it reinforces the anxiety. Also talk to your GP about this as there are alternatives.

[Paradise10]

Thank you pdu, I know you are right re the diazepam. What do you mean by alternatives?

[Paradise10]

Morning all and welcome to todays update.

Anxiety is still quite high but I managed to stop myself going into a full on panic twice yesterday so I am taking that as a win. Had some tears when I woke up yesterday morning but I got dressed and had a tidy round with my husband, we then went out to pick up my antibiotics and get some shopping. We came home and wrapped some Christmas presents and then I took a walk to the supermarket to pick up some board games we had ordered. I am trying to make sure I get out for a walk everyday. We played a board game while the football was on and then we went online for a quiz that was arranged with some friends. Anxiety was slightly lower last night. I am learning that you can't run away from full on panic which is what I always do, you just have to sit there and expand your stomach and breath through it until it subsides. Problem is I am having so many thoughts that are peaking my anxiety, it's like I am having to do this all day and it's exhausting.

I am still looking for reasons why I feel like I can't be bothered and dragging my body around, this tends to start the anxiety spiral off each morning. I hate feeling sluggish, this is one of my main fears. If I feel like I just want to lay on the sofa and sleep, I get anxious. I think it's because this isn't something you should be doing during the day. There is stuff to be doing and me feeling like that gets in the way. Doing things shouldn't be such an effort. I just want to get up and get on with stuff like everyone else. I think this is why I start looking for other reasons why I feel like that. I have the X-Ray and blood tests next week so I guess if they all come back clear then I just have to put it down to anxiety and being overweight and make more of an effort to sort these.

I think I am looking forward to going back to work tomorrow for the structure, I wont be looking for things to do to fill my time as I will have work. Today is ironing and making mince pies, will get a walk in later too.

Till tomorrow, Ava x

[panic_down_under]

Thank you pdu, I know you are right re the diazepam. What do you mean by alternatives?

Your GP is likely to only consider pregabalin (Lyrica) and mirtazapine. Pregabalin achieves the same result as BZDs, but via a different route. Like the BZDs dependence may become an issue, but this develops much more slowly so it is unlikely to become a problem in the short time you're probably going to need it. Mirtazapine calms anxiety by sedation.

[Paradise10]

Thanks PDU, I think I would rather stick with just the ven as I am already on Nort as well as the ven. Or i would rather come of both of them and maybe try a new med or increase the ven. I'm only on 150 so I guess I have scope to move up more.

Yesterday was a hard one but after my tears yesterday morning I had a tidy round then I did some ironing and then wrapped some Xmas presents. Got a bit wound up at tea time so went round to visit my parents for an hour. Last night the husband finished wrapping and i sat on the sofa and half watched some TV. Felt calmish, or the calmest I have felt the last few days.

Back at work this morning, Anxiety has been really high this morning, and I have had a couple of panic attacks but I breathed through both of them and carried on working. Anxiety is a nightmare as I have been for a wee about 9 times. I read through this whole thread earlier and what amazed me was that this time last year when I increased it was for the exact same reasons. same symptoms exactly. The ache around the left breast, the tight chest in the middle and bra feeling too tight, wanting to burp all the time, low energy, things being an effort. I have a chest x-ray at 3.30 today and they said they will have the results back with my doctor by tomorrow afternoon, this has increased my anxiety since they rang earlier but I know I need to do it even though it will be a nightmare till the results come back. The things I put myself through.

Ok till later guys. Ava x

[Paradise10]

My anxiety is literally through the roof.... It's been like this for about an hour now and I just cant calm down. I know it's because I have the xray in half hour but the worst part is having to wait until tomorrow for the results.

This is so horrible, I haven't felt this scared in a long time. I am crying writing this.

[Paradise10]

Morning all...

Well I went for my xray yesterday afternoon, I was in a bit of a state but the man that did my xray was lovely. He took one picture of my chest and then said.... All I can say is that is there was anything on here of concern I would have to take another picture and I don't need to take anymore pictures. I was so grateful as he didn't need to do that. He did mention something about my ribs but I didn't take that in as I was to relieved about the other things. I still need to call my doctors after 2pm today though for the results he said.

Me and the husband popped to the shops and my anxiety settled a bit, still had a really tight chest and felt a bit breathless but anxiety wasn't too bad. Came home and did some pottering around then we settled down to watch TV, anxiety was fairly quiet and it was quite a calm evening although I felt completely wiped out.

Slept fine and woke this morning to..... Yep anxiety. Not about the lung cancer. I totally believe the test results. Just my anxiety in general...
Anxiety because I feel anxious
Anxiety because I feel sluggish and want to sleep
Anxiety because I am lugging myself around and everything is an effort.

Have blood tests tomorrow, so will see what they say, I am not overly worried about these as at least they will tell me if I am feeling this way just because of anxiety and it closes another what if question. I am still on with my weekly planner and today I have a lady coming this morning to do my nails this morning, this afternoon I am wrapping some Christmas Presents (This working from home helps sometimes lol) and tonight I have my daily walk and then a film with my husband. I am still rating each task with how I feel. I am also doing my CBT homework or challenging my scary thoughts and coming up with other alternatives for them. My next CBY session is Friday. I am doing this with my mum as it's a self help book but you can have someone help you as your therapist, I did the first session on my own but my mum said she would help with the others. I am going to try this approach until after Christmas when I will assess how I am feeling and if I need to go back to doctors and look at my medication.

Am also still eating good, husband ordered a takeaway last night and I had chicken, salad and a pitta bread. Much healthier than what I would have had.

Till later, Ava x

[panic_down_under]

99.9% of the time the anticipation of potential bad news is far worse than the actuality. An anxious mind in full flight when given something to focus on can be truly terrifying on many levels.