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Thread: Someone to talk to please

  1. #11
    Join Date
    Mar 2016
    Posts
    2,340

    Re: Someone to talk to please

    Quote Originally Posted by DB09 View Post
    Thank you for your reply Nora. I worry about the menopause because I am so desperate to have a baby and fear my time is running out. I felt this man was my last hope. I had been single for 15 years before I met him and I can't imagine meeting anyone else again. I feel my whole dreams have been shattered.
    Given that you've not mentioned age or if you've been tested re menopause etc - I'm going in blind here - but lots of women have babies when they are going through the menopause which is why we are told to use contraception for at least a year after our last period.

    I was married to a man for 20 years and when the relationship ended I couldn't imagine finding anybody who would love me, because, truth be told, I'd never been loved as I had loved them. But I did meet somebody and he loves me as I've always wanted to be loved - even if it took me years to accept it. We have a son too and he came along literally before ovarian failure - so life can change. All my life, lads, then men, had initiated my relationships. This time I broke pattern and I did it, and I always reckon that somebody was (up there) giving me some help because this was very much a matter of 'the next bloke who enters this chatroom, I will PM'. I don't do stuff like this. It isn't me. But I'm autistic and this is the only way I could ever initiate conversation with a somebody I do not know - and even that is rare! In doing this I happened to find someone who loves me for 'me' and so it paid off. 14 years later - we're still together. Life isn't perfect, but I've been able to live a life that at one time was unimaginable. I'm not advocating that you use chatrooms, but I am saying that sometimes it pays to steer our ship in a different direction, you know?

    One man hurt you, but try to reframe it: Is he the father you'd have wanted for your child? Because things like this go one of two ways. Either they don't want anything to do with a child, and you're on your own, or they do want to exercise their rights as fathers and the latter means that they (and their fiancÚs/ wives etc) are in your life too - even if it's on the outskirts - and you have to find a way to live with this. Children change the dynamics and it can become very complicated, not only for us, but for them.

    This man doesn't have the power to shatter your dreams unless you allow it. The dream is still there, and if I could find someone with the shit I've got going on, there's no reason on this Earth why you can't - not that I know what your 'shit' is. X
    __________________
    I'm not afraid of death because I don't believe in it. It's just getting out of one car, and into another. ~ John Lennon

  2. #12
    Join Date
    May 2013
    Posts
    16

    Re: Someone to talk to please

    Thank you Nora for your kind message. I'm glad everything worked out for you and that you are now in a very happy relationship. Your advice has helped me a lot and I really appreciate your response.

  3. #13
    Join Date
    Oct 2013
    Posts
    81

    Re: Someone to talk to please

    Don't underestimate your self worth. Don't underestimate your beauty. Don't underestimate your body.

    I'm no doctor, but I don't think an early period is a symptom of menopause.

    I don't think you should rush into another relationship right away, but. Branch out and make new friends, find a friendly/attractive guy to hangout with, and see if he's interested in you. Ask him if he'd like to go on a proper date after hanging out a few times. There's I'm sure lots of meetup apps and other things you can do to meet someone who's in to you.

  4. #14
    Join Date
    Oct 2017
    Posts
    98

    Re: Someone to talk to please

    Quote Originally Posted by DB09 View Post
    I found out yesterday that that man I have been seeing has got engaged but I had no idea he was seeing someone else. Our entire relationship was a lie. He was the only man who has taken an interest in me in over 15 years. I have such low self-esteem and this has knocked me for six. He hasn't even told me, I just saw a post online. I can't stop crying. I have been thinking of ways to ending it. I have nobody to talk to. I woke this morning hoping it was all a bad dream. I don't know what to do. I'm so stressed out. My period arrived today when it wasn't supposed to. I don't know if this is because of stress but I worry I am going through the menopause. Me and this man were trying for a baby and I felt this was my last hope before it's too late for my to get pregnant. I can't take much more and don't know what to do.
    Hi, I am sorry to know what you are going through. And that is emotionally wrecking, it aint easy to just throw it all away. But as others are sharing here, have the courage to get up again and smile. You dont deserve to be treated that way. And most importantly, pray and trust in Him that He will guide and give you strength. Take care of yourself and be positive to attract happy thoughts.

    I had a 6 yr relationship that ended 6 years ago. At first, I thought I couldnt move on because he was my life. I begged for him to return. I cried almost every day. Until a friend told me to remove him from my system -his photos, his messages, the things he gave me...It was not easy to delete everything but I did and honestly, it helped me. Then afterwards, positive energy keeps coming in.

    So just stay happy and everything will be okay.

  5. #15
    Join Date
    Mar 2016
    Posts
    2,340

    Re: Someone to talk to please

    Quote Originally Posted by meltedchic View Post
    Until a friend told me to remove him from my system -his photos, his messages, the things he gave me...It was not easy to delete everything but I did and honestly, it helped me.
    I find a photo pinned to a dart board to be quite cathartic..
    __________________
    I'm not afraid of death because I don't believe in it. It's just getting out of one car, and into another. ~ John Lennon

  6. #16

    Re: Someone to talk to please

    Quote Originally Posted by DB09 View Post
    I found out yesterday that that man I have been seeing has got engaged but I had no idea he was seeing someone else. Our entire relationship was a lie. He was the only man who has taken an interest in me in over 15 years. I have such low self-esteem and this has knocked me for six. He hasn't even told me, I just saw a post online. I can't stop crying. I have been thinking of ways to ending it. I have nobody to talk to. I woke this morning hoping it was all a bad dream. I don't know what to do. I'm so stressed out. My period arrived today when it wasn't supposed to. I don't know if this is because of stress but I worry I am going through the menopause. Me and this man were trying for a baby and I felt this was my last hope before it's too late for my to get pregnant. I can't take much more and don't know what to do.
    Hi there, I'm really sorry to hear :(. The pain and hurt coming from romantic relationships can be all consuming at times, because it affects us on so many levels. I know it feels like normality will never come back, no matter how many times you hear it. It's a process, unfortunately a lot of times it's not an easy one. But trust me, this shall pass and you will be ok. It may take a bit of time, but slowly the pain will go away. And the more time will pass and the less will hurt, you will start seeing the facts with different eyes. Pain will be replaced with clarity and it's very likely that you'll realize what a mistake would have been to have a child with this person, who seems to have no ethic and moral values.

    As for the option of having children, I'm also getting at that age and feel like i'm missing my last train. For good or bad, I personally don't center my life around it, but it's hard to not think that one day I may regret it. I think it's normal to spend time thinking about it, as it is a major decision with a deadline. If you feel passionate about it, there are a lot of options out there. Some not for everyone, but there are options. In my case, a lot of times I limit myself by discounting an option very quickly, without a proper analysis, I just quickly say 'not for me'. My therapist told me many times that there are always options in life, even when things seem very dark and bleak. Remembering this has helped me a lot - hope is a great healer.

    lots of hugs xxx

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