I have an almost constant intrusive thought that something will happen with my heart and I will die. This is especially present when I am among people and/or anywhere but at home.

Just now I got out of the bus and had to walk to the hospital (visiting my father). While on the bus I kept hoping time would fly and we would get off the highway, at least being closer to a hospital in case something happens. When I got out I wanted walk quick, for the same reason. Now at the hospital I feel worse, because of the experience I had two months ago being in the A&E for the first time due to having a very high heart rate.


When I was walking to the hospital I suddenly said out loud, ‘Don’t you pride yourself to be a rational person? A skeptical non superstitious person?’ I started thinking about how the plethora of symptoms I have could be caused by any obsessive longterm fear. What if I feared being attacked every time I was outside, and that at any moment somebody might break into my home? Wouldn’t that, after a few months (or years in my case), cause numerous issues?

I don’t know how to get rid of the almost continuous train of intrusive thoughts, but I will try to also think about the rational ones and stop checking my body for all the things arising.