I still can't shake off cervical cancer anxiety

[Anxietysufferer92]

So as I said previously I had a bleed during sex a while back, then started having back and pelvic pain. I have just been to see the gp who has inspected my cervix and vagina area thoroughly and said that I have a completely harmless cyst called nabolitian cyst and there's absolutely no reason to worry about it at all. She said chances are it may have popped when I was having sex and said these things happen and ends up being completely benign. She has taken swabs to check for infection that can cause these symptoms I am having. Like an idiot that I am, googled what the cysts was and already, in rare cases, it can be cancer 😭😭

I said I'm getting quite frightened now that it is cancer and she said love, if I was worried you'd be straight down the hospital having more tests done. Please, don't worry. She said she told me because she could hear in my voice that I was scared and just wanted to reassure me. I said what about my smear because it only checked for HPV which was neg but it probably still cancer as I know people can still have cancer without HPV and she said they check the entire sample for everything but then they generate a letter that they didn't look at the sample if it was HPV negative.

But I think she should've just said everything was fine, instead if it wasn't that much of a worry. I've never had these symptoms before and I am still saying goodbye to my family, trying to tell myself that I've lived my life and that if I die, it will not be an issue. I am in such a mess guys! I still have a deep feeling that I have cancer and by the time it is diagnosed, it'll be too late. My boy is going to be left without a mum. I lost my mum when I was young and I don't want to leave him. He needs me to care for him 😭

[Scass]

I’m sorry you are so distressed.
Please stop googling, it doesn’t help.
Listen to your doctor who sounds brilliant and has given you excellent advice and care.

I had a cyst and had to get an MRI and several exams and blood tests. I lived in fear of it for so long. Then last time I had it checked it had disappeared! If you are reading about cysts you will also now know how incredibly common they are and also how incredibly rare it is for them to be dangerous.


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[Anxietysufferer92]

I’m sorry you are so distressed.
Please stop googling, it doesn’t help.
Listen to your doctor who sounds brilliant and has given you excellent advice and care.

I had a cyst and had to get an MRI and several exams and blood tests. I lived in fear of it for so long. Then last time I had it checked it had disappeared! If you are reading about cysts you will also now know how incredibly common they are and also how incredibly rare it is for them to be dangerous.


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I know, I know. Google is bloody awful and just feeding my anxiety! Did you have an MRI specifically for cysts on your cervix or something else? I really would like to have one done but I know it won't happen. I just can't shake off the feeling. I can't seem to forget about it and accept what she's said. Will see what the vaginal swabs say when they come back but she doesn't think I have an infection.

[NoraB]

But I think she should've just said everything was fine, instead if it wasn't that much of a worry. I've never had these symptoms before and I am still saying goodbye to my family, trying to tell myself that I've lived my life and that if I die, it will not be an issue. I am in such a mess guys! I still have a deep feeling that I have cancer and by the time it is diagnosed, it'll be too late. My boy is going to be left without a mum. I lost my mum when I was young and I don't want to leave him. He needs me to care for him 

For me, this is your real issue. This is why you have health anxiety.

It's common for women to have issues with our bits - lumps, bumps, spotting etc - and it is rarely due to cancer.

I think your GP has given you good advice but you do have the right to a second opinion or to request further testing. It's a question of weighing up what it necessary and what is simply feeding into your HA.

What you shouldn't be doing is Googling because it only ever hypes up anxiety, and no matter what symptoms you put in - Google will come up with cancer.

[Anxietysufferer92]

For me, this is your real issue. This is why you have health anxiety.

It's common for women to have issues with our bits - lumps, bumps, spotting etc - and it is rarely due to cancer.

I think your GP has given you good advice but you do have the right to a second opinion or to request further testing. It's a question of weighing up what it necessary and what is simply feeding into your HA.

What you shouldn't be doing is Googling because it only ever hypes up anxiety, and no matter what symptoms you put in - Google will come up with cancer.

You're right. That is where my HA and other mental health illness comes from. I couldn't sleep at all last night. Was pacing up and down, my husband kept telling me to come back to bed and I said I can't because I know something bad is going on. He tries to understand my anxiety bless him but I am literally a nightmare when I flare up like this. Right now, I just feel like going to the hospital and demanding tests because this back pain and stomach ache is not going at all. I can't cope anymore, I really can't. 16 years of this crap and I am the worse I've ever been.

[Anxietysufferer92]

One thing after another. The past 2 days I've had stomach and back ache, this morning and the morning before, I've suffered from severe flatulence and I've also had diarrhoea mixed with constipation and feel so nauseous. Definitely not pregnant! Petrified that the cancer may have spread to my bowels or vice versa. I can't cope with this! I'm getting worse, not better.

[NoraB]

One thing after another. The past 2 days I've had stomach and back ache, this morning and the morning before, I've suffered from severe flatulence and I've also had diarrhoea mixed with constipation and feel so nauseous. Definitely not pregnant! Petrified that the cancer may have spread to my bowels or vice versa.

Or you have the lesser terrifying condition that is IBS because you are scaring yourself shitless (literally)

I'm getting worse, not better.

Because you are telling yourself you have cancer and this thought terrifies you so your body releases stress hormones which produces lots of physical symptoms (all normal) which has you thinking that you must have cancer because you feel so shit and your body is malfunctioning all over the place...

Tummy pain, backache, wind - all CLASSIC IBS symptoms.

Bottom line is that you are thinking yourself worse.

[Anxietysufferer92]

Or you have the lesser terrifying condition that is IBS because you are scaring yourself shitless (literally)



Because you are telling yourself you have cancer and this thought terrifies you so your body releases stress hormones which produces lots of physical symptoms (all normal) which has you thinking that you must have cancer because you feel so shit and your body is malfunctioning all over the place...

Tummy pain, backache, wind - all CLASSIC IBS symptoms.

Bottom line is that you are thinking yourself worse.

That's exactly what it feels like. Last night, I slept on the floor because I tried to convince myself that it was the mattress giving me this awful back pain I've been suffering with for so long! My stomach and bloating has gone down significantly, still tender though and I get trapped wind that I have to quickly go toilet and release it because the pain wraps around my ribs and side. I honestly need to get a ****ing grip. Excuse my language! Honestly I would understand I am causing IBS symptoms, but when I had the bleed a few weeks ago and with all the symptoms of CC that I already know about, it just my irrational mind telling me they all connect. I'm so convinced I have got it and I really, really need to stop. Thing is, whatever the outcome is, I cannot change it can I? There's nothing I can do about it, whether it is benign or not.

[NoraB]

I honestly need to get a ****ing grip. Excuse my language!

No apologies necessary for me cocker.

Honestly I would understand I am causing IBS symptoms, but when I had the bleed a few weeks ago and with all the symptoms of CC that I already know about, it just my irrational mind telling me they all connect. I'm so convinced I have got it and I really, really need to stop. Thing is, whatever the outcome is, I cannot change it can I? There's nothing I can do about it, whether it is benign or not.

I've had bleeds when I shouldn't have had them, and it is scary even if you've not got HA. Women commonly have these issues. It's rarely cancer lovely. X

[Anxietysufferer92]

No apologies necessary for me cocker.



I've had bleeds when I shouldn't have had them, and it is scary even if you've not got HA. Women commonly have these issues. It's rarely cancer lovely. X

Thank you Nora for the reassurance, I really do appreciate it. Hopefully I will not jinx it but my back and stomach aches has eased quite a bit now and my swabs have also come back normal too. I am still a bit on edge though and I cannot bring myself to have sex with my husband but I am going to at least try because if it happens again.. (please don't let it happen again), then I know I have to get further investigation... I still can't shake off the fear. This is horrendous. Its on my mind 24/7!
I'm telling myself that my back and tummy has eased and not in pain so it can't be sinister, can it? Surely if it was, it would be persistent and it WOULDN'T go away? That's what I keep telling myself to try and rationalise. I'm also telling myself if the worse happens then there's nothing I can do. It's literally a vicious circle going round and round all the time. My head feels like it's in a spin. X