So, as background, my dog is a six year old Cocker mix. He's generally healthy but came from a hoarding situation where there was a lot of inbreeding occurring. I don't know what happened to the rest of his family.

Because of that background, he has had some challenges. I got him at 8 weeks old, so despite having a really awful early life it isn't like he was abused for any length of time. But he's just a bit mentally off - he has severe anxiety and is reactive. His whole family had this issue, and so bad genes + bad early experiences has given me a dog that takes anxiety medication to reach some level of normal (and he doesn't quite). We've been through a lot. I've never been one to subscribe to the "fur mama" thing but he is absolutely my baby. I am very protective of him; we are very close.

Anyway, about a year and a half ago he started having some mobility issues in various limbs. He had a front leg X-rayed, then about a year ago they X-rayed his back right leg. He was diagnosed with arthritis and a CCL tear (he's always had some funky stuff going on with his knees so it's not surprising). We had that repaired in May and so far, so good.

A month or so ago his front right leg started giving him trouble. Vet said arthritis. He had previously been taking Carprofen for pain but it wasn't touching it, so we started Adequan injections and Codeine. The vet was just certain that with the Codeine he wouldn't feel pain. My memory may be off, but I swear I heard her say "if the Codeine doesn't help, something else may be going on".

Well, he's still in pain. He limps pretty significantly and holds it up when he walks. I think it's in his paw because I accidentally touched his paw and he screamed. I'm calling the vet back at the end of this week because he needs more Adequan and I want to talk about what's going on and any supplements we can add (the vet gave us supplement treats but he hates them).

It kills me to see him hurt. He's way too young to deal with all of this. But more than that, I'm having to remind myself daily that this is just an arthritis flare, because of course my own anxiety is saying it could be something worse. I've always had this awful gut feeling that I'm going to lose him too soon.

I've lost pets before so I've definitely been here, but they've all been older before they had significant health issues. Just thinking about it makes me cry.

There's not really any advice that can be given, I just needed to let it out.

IMG_0116.jpgMy good boy