Starting a New Job

[.Poppy.]

Sorry for all of the posts as of late, it's been a rough few months (and I know I'm not alone in that!)

I currently work full time in an admin position in research. I love my job. However, it pays peanuts. I can usually get by, but this year being 2020 I had several big expenses come up and have needed to supplement with a side gig. I was, pre-pandemic, delivering food for a delivery company. It was fine. Super flexible which I loved. But it was away from the home which, pre-pandemic, was unfortunate since I wanted to be able to spend more time with my dog, and now when I'm working from home for my other job anyway, I'd just rather stay home and away from the public.

So, I applied for a customer service position in the same company. I actually had to apply several times before I got an interview and I got the job. I started training yesterday and honestly my stress levels are through the roof. So far it seems like a totally doable job, which is great, and everyone in corporate has been very helpful. The pay is great and what I need right now.

I'm just really anxious about actually starting the work, and having second thoughts because the position is far less flexible than I'm used to for a side gig. I'll be working anywhere from 15-20 hours a week and there are certain availability requirements I have to meet. I can drop shifts, but someone else has to pick them up or I think I get in trouble. I can also request time off when I am inputting availability but that is on a case by case discretionary basis. I guess I'm just afraid I'm going to feel trapped - although to be honest I do need hours to make money and where else am I going right now anyway?

It's also been a struggle because I'm trying to put together what my ultimate career plans are because obviously neither of these paths are long-term sustainable. I was working on my master's in college student development but put that on hold with Covid and amid panic that everything would go under and I wouldn't be able to do my practicum or get a position in that field anyway. But I'm really close to being done so I guess I should just push on and finish it?

I don't know. It's just stress, stress, stress and I hate it. I keep telling myself that if this customer service position doesn't work, or begins affecting my mental health in a negative way that I can just quit. Even having that as an option helps me a little bit. And even if I only stick it out for a few months that will help me in a major way.

[.Poppy.]

So I actually did a search on similar posts of people afraid to start a new job, and I found a thread of my own from about three years ago. Proves it really happens to us all, even more than once!

I've been to training for the position twice now. So far it's been watching videos but I have to do more tonight which is terrifying. It's also been six hour long shifts which is grueling. The hours will ideally be more forgiving when I actually start but I'm of course very nervous to get the list of hours I'll be assigned for the rest of the month. And I start my first "real" shift on Tuesday, which is terrifying as well!

But, I'm trying not to let myself feel too down or teary. I put a note on my desk that if it affects my mental health, I can quit. And I will stick to that.

[glassgirlw]

Hey there, starting a new job is always stressful, even in non-stressful times. Here in the dumpster fire that is 2020...all I have to say is it takes a huge amount of guts to put yourself out there and go for it! I admire you for that! I’ve been at my job for 22 years now. Had the opportunity to switch to a new company last year and bailed out at the last minute. I regret it hugely. Not necessarily bailing on the new job opportunity but I regret not having the courage to jump into something new.

try to be patient with yourself. You’re right, you could always quit. But, you also could find that you really like it! Try to think positively and give yourself some downtime as well to decompress at the end of the day. Best of luck!

[.Poppy.]

Thanks! I keep telling myself that yes, I can do this. Yes, there are things that scare me like angry customers but then I've dealt with upset people at my regular job so that will probably be fine.

Being new is hard, but I think the hardest aspect is the extra stress of learning, and really, the lack of total flexibility. I tell myself that I'm being silly because I do need the money and I'm not going anywhere anyway, it just makes me feel a bit trapped? It was so easy to call out of a driver shift and that was nice.

But hey, I'll give it a month and if I can't stand it I'll leave. At least that gives me some flexibility and makes me feel a bit less stuck. Though it would be awesome if it wasn't so bad and I could hold on longer and really knock out some of this debt! I just need to feel less down.

[.Poppy.]

Hi, sorry for posting again, I just had to get it out.

I had a training session on Saturday and no one showed up (virtually). Five hours I waited and messaged the person who had been training me, but he was offline. I have no idea what this means and I'm afraid to log in for training again tonight.

But honestly, I don't know if I can do this. I told myself I would stick it out through January at least, and I hope I can. I haven't even started the position yet and I just feel really low. Maybe because it is so inflexible and because the hours are generally pretty long (average of 5 hour shifts)? I just feel so low. I haven't been able to get out of bed all morning and haven't been eating well. I feel mentally very foggy like I can't do things properly because I'm just so stressed about this.

I'm super concerned that this makes me a failure completely, and I keep telling myself that once I actually start it won't be so bad, and for something that I do for only a couple of months that I can handle it. But I just don't know.

[glassgirlw]

So that’s super shady that the guy running the training session wasnt even In the virtual room. I’m sure that really caused you some unnecessary stress! Training is always hard, and even awkward. But once you get past it, you might find things get easier or at least more structured? Or you may find this isn’t for you at all.

my dad had this cheesy saying when I was a teen. Looking back on it now, it was pretty wise. But I always thought it cheesy back then lol. He always said it’s easier to find a job when you already have one. It’s so true!

[meltedchic]

Just think that all of your difficulties will come to pass and when once training is over, you've got to reap what you sow. Every training is a bit uncomfy and tiring because it is not what we used to do, it is new to us - that is the essence of training.

But dont stressed out too much - it wont help. Chill a bit and everything will come to place.

[.Poppy.]

Thanks. Unfortunately, I have decided to quit for a few reasons:

1. I really don't like the nature of the job
2. The hours are long (5-6 hours on top of my regular job)
3. It's a lot of screen time and I'm already prone to eye strain which gives me migraines
4. The stress was making it hard to complete my regular job tasks
5. I'm starting a class next semester and need time to do that.
6. My internet is likely too spotty to even do the job at all.

I think it's a good choice, but it's hard not to be completely disappointed in myself. And now of course I'm panicking about all my future choices, graduating, finding a job in the field I'm studying, etc. It's a rough time.

Oh, and panicking about telling them I'm leaving and then shipping their stuff back to them.