I am just afraid of everything to do with health

[feelthelove]

I get heart palpitations even if I get a cut on my finger , panic sets in and thats it for the rest of the day . I also start thinking I am going to get sickness that anyone else tells me about.
My friend told me she nearly died as she had two blood clots on her brain ,she is okay now . But since then its all I can think about and worry about and I have had a headache for a few days and of course i think it is that .
I constantly worry daily about getting a migraine aura which happens a few times a year . I had to go to A&E in June as it was on and off for about four hours and its never been that long before . I was petrified literally and thought it was a stroke ,
I have a counsellor who has phoned a few times during the pandemic, but that seems to have stopped now . I had an anxiety attack at the doctors last month and got angry because I am exempt from wearing face coverings because something hat happened to me as a teenager and I panic and can't breath even with the visor, I lost it at the entrance with the guy who told me I couldn't go up to my appointment without covering my face , this was an important blood test for diabetes and I have had a few problems and needed to go to it, so I grabbed the visor and said really loud , this isn't right I am exempt and you're forcing me to wear this for medical treatment and I stormed off up stairs, i didn't use the visor i couldn't i would have had a severe anxiety and panic attack if i had used it .
The guy and staff reported me to the GP and he phoned me and told me off , I put a letter in saying he should know how I am with my mental health , but he said on the phone that anyone can wear an exemption card and that the rules are that i have to wear a face covering . I said in the email that i simply cannot and that the doctor should know i am not faking it as he even wrote a letter for me for PIP that i have had mental health since 1974. I have been in a state of anxiety since then, my A1c was okay it could be better but at least that is good , but I am disappointed with my doctor he seems more scared of me without a mask and doesn't understand . I was told in a reply email that i don't have to wear a face covering , but i will have to be seen outside of the premises in a different unit and can only have a consultation of fifteen minutes no more . I feel that I am worthless and I follow every rule of social distancing I don't break the rules and I am genuinely exempt from face coverings . I feel that I have no security in any help now from the NHS as I can't go get treatment out of fear now if I ever need to . When I went to A&E I was made to wear a mask and the doctor who saw me told me take it off as I was not breathing properly and that I shouldn't have been told to wear it if I am exempt . That incident only added to my anxiety . Sorry for the long post I just needed to share it all x

[Carnation]

Aww feel the love
I'm hearing you loud and clear.
First of all that doctor was wrong.i know loads of people that don't wear a face mask and are exempt.
I think you need to find another practice.
Bless you, everything's just got too much and understandably you are overwhelmed.
Take some time to calm the mind with some Apps on YouTube, maybe some meditation and when you feel better you can deal with all the other things. x

[feelthelove]

Hi, thank you you're so kind. I have just found some yoga on youtube and I watching a feel good Christmas movie . I am so disappointed at my GP . Thank you again x

[Carnation]

You just had a bad experience. It's not personal and it was unfortunate. x

[NoraB]

I had an anxiety attack at the doctors last month and got angry because I am exempt from wearing face coverings because something hat happened to me as a teenager and I panic and can't breath even with the visor, I lost it at the entrance with the guy who told me I couldn't go up to my appointment without covering my face , this was an important blood test for diabetes and I have had a few problems and needed to go to it, so I grabbed the visor and said really loud , this isn't right I am exempt and you're forcing me to wear this for medical treatment and I stormed off up stairs, i didn't use the visor i couldn't i would have had a severe anxiety and panic attack if i had used it .

I totally understand re panic attacks and the mask. My panic attacks ramped up when I started wearing a mask. Technically, my mental health disorder and autism exempts me but I chose to try and overcome the problems in order to feel like I am doing my bit, but also because my autism means that I cannot cope with people's ignorance and attitude (as in verbal challenges) - especially when I'm out on my own. I go into meltdown or shutdown - and both put me in a very vulnerable situation. So there were a few factors in my decision. I experimented with lots of masks until I found one I could tolerate, and I spend less time in shops so I can whip it off. I get pre-panic attack symptoms after wearing a mask sometimes but I am able to bring myself down with some deep breathing. Now I use a few drops of essential oil on my masks and give myself an aromatherapy experience at the same time lol. Tbh, I like the fact that my face is partly hidden. That aspect is an autistic plus for me. That's my experience, but there are people who just cannot wear a mask and their exemption should be respected. As it is, I did have a panic attack prior to my smear test a few months ago and the nurse had no issues with me removing my mask.

people who cannot put on, wear or remove a face covering because of a physical or mental illness or impairment, or disability

This is off the government webpage. I'd say you have grounds to put a complaint in to the medical centre, and to your own GP who should have been more understanding of your issues than the jobsworthy receptionist. The way you were treated was out of order. Your actions came from severe anxiety - and you got a telling off for it?

You are not worthless at all. Please don't allow other people's ignorance make you feel this way about yourself. X

[Carnation]

That's a great post Nora

Just wanted to say that I too have issues with people having a go at me for not wearing a mask.
The ignorance of people can put me in a state as much as wearing one.
I am exempt too, but I suffer with one for a few minutes to pop in the corner shop. The only benefit is people can not see my suffering underneath the face covering. It's just not nice and that's putting it mildly.
No way could I wear one to see a doctor or similar.
I basically wear one for as little as possible to stop the abuse from uneducated people.

Anyway, hope you are feeling a bit better today feelthelove x

[feelthelove]

Thank you , I was given a phone number to ring from my counseller to be assessed for autism, but nobody answered and then I was given another number and they said they cannot help me unless I am referred from my GP . I know I have autism , the meltdowns are not nice but don't happen that often. My grandson who's 8 is going through the assessment process for autism , i am pretty sure it runs in the family . I've had problems since I was five years old . Nobody seems to want to help me x

[NoraB]

Thank you , I was given a phone number to ring from my counseller to be assessed for autism, but nobody answered and then I was given another number and they said they cannot help me unless I am referred from my GP . I know I have autism , the meltdowns are not nice but don't happen that often. My grandson who's 8 is going through the assessment process for autism , i am pretty sure it runs in the family . I've had problems since I was five years old . Nobody seems to want to help me x

Sit down with a sheet of A4 paper and list the reasons you think you're autistic. EVERY DETAIL - no matter how weird. Then go to see your GP and tell them that your mental health is diving faster than a seagull on a chip and you require autism assessment ASAP.

I was referred via an A&E psychiatrist and my son was seen by a children's psychiatrist at the age of 3 then referred for assessment. Both of us came at this from a different way than is the norm, but the above is what you need to do.

My problems started from five years old too. Can I ask if this is when you started school?

[feelthelove]

It al started when I was five , my dad was nurse to my uncle who lost his legs in an accident at work , he came to live with us and my dad used to change his dressings, I walked in the room while he was changing it and it caused me to panic and lose my breath , at the same time my granddad who lived away died during the night , i overheard the conversation from the top of the stairs that he'd died from five back to back heart attacks ,I started having breathing problems because i thought i was going to die. It all went down hill from there. I developed a nervous cough constantly coughing because it made me feel like my throat wasn't to close if i could cough , i used to climb out of windows in panic so i could go to the hospital in case i was dying . I was under child psychiatrist for years and was given various medications which caused horrendous side effects, that why I have the phobia to medications and scared to take them .I fixate on things for days such as what happened at the doctors and I talk about it constantly .I hate loud noises I have to cover my ears when emergency vehicles pass by and motorbikes get me very angry i hate them , the noise make me really really angry .I was sent to boarding school which made me worse as i hated being away from my parents. When my parents took me I remember the day like yesterday i felt like my heart was being ripped from me and wouldn't let go of my dads hand i cried for weeks , the education sent me there because the school couldn't cope with me . I hated it and it made me worse . I could go on but I won't , but all these things are still there and the pain is still raw x

[NoraB]

It al started when I was five , my dad was nurse to my uncle who lost his legs in an accident at work , he came to live with us and my dad used to change his dressings, I walked in the room while he was changing it and it caused me to panic and lose my breath , at the same time my granddad who lived away died during the night , i overheard the conversation from the top of the stairs that he'd died from five back to back heart attacks ,I started having breathing problems because i thought i was going to die. It all went down hill from there. I developed a nervous cough constantly coughing because it made me feel like my throat wasn't to close if i could cough , i used to climb out of windows in panic so i could go to the hospital in case i was dying . I was under child psychiatrist for years and was given various medications which caused horrendous side effects, that why I have the phobia to medications and scared to take them .I fixate on things for days such as what happened at the doctors and I talk about it constantly

That's how your HA started...

I hate loud noises I have to cover my ears when emergency vehicles pass by and motorbikes get me very angry i hate them , the noise make me really really angry .I was sent to boarding school which made me worse as i hated being away from my parents. When my parents took me I remember the day like yesterday i felt like my heart was being ripped from me and wouldn't let go of my dads hand i cried for weeks , the education sent me there because the school couldn't cope with me . I hated it and it made me worse . I could go on but I won't , but all these things are still there and the pain is still raw x

They are going to need additional sensory stuff. For example: a tap on the arm can feel like punch to me. Or that I could hear electricity and low buzzing noises that nobody else could hear. This was long before tinnitus kicked in. It's about how much these things bother you on a day to day basis and how anxiety affects those levels.

You have to be able to meet a criteria based on a triad of impairment - social interaction, communication, and imagination - and when it comes to imagination - it's not that autistic people don't have any. In my case, I didn't display normal imaginative play like other children. Mine was all re-enacting stuff I'd seen on TV and I thought this was normal until I realised that other girls used to 'make stuff up' and I'm not able to do that. I have to have seen it and then I replicate it. You see? My verbal communication disintegrates under stress to shutdown (mutism) or meltdown and I can be (and take people) literally. I barely spoke at school. It's taken me 50 years to build up my knowledge of responses to certain phrases and I always have to check my words. And I am literally shit at social interaction having never instigated a real life friendship or relationship (aside once - online, and he's now married to me lol). I've also had very real crushes and obsessions with animated characters and I don't have mere interests - I have obsessions. So you've got to really open yourself up in order to be considered for assessment. Eating disorders, bullying - everything and anything that is relevant. The more input you can give from those who know you - the better. Also, have a good think about going for diagnosis, and if it's right for you - because once you're diagnosed, there is no going back. It's on your records. X