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Thread: Needle phobia - first time posting about this

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Posts
    1,485

    Needle phobia - first time posting about this

    So, I've had a mild needle phobia since I was a child. Getting shots were unpleasant but someone else was there to manage the process.

    Now I have to self-administer. I've done it 12 times and I still freak out every time at the point where I need to put the needle in. I hover, take it away, hover by the skin, take it away, my anxiety increases and increases and doesn't go down like it says it should do in exposure therapy. I burst into tears and shake and I can't put in a needle like that safely so I have to pause. I'm so frustrated because it takes up my time and I just want to get it done.

    I know it is making my health better. It's improving my life. But still the distress is there - I'm bawling and it's so irrational and I hate feeling like this.

    I think it's because I self harmed in the past and putting a needle in myself feels like self harm. I don't want to do that to myself. Even though I know logically it's helping me, it FEELS like I'm hurting myself. I think this is the core of the problem and I don't know how to get past this. I haven't been able to find anything online about dealing with this particular manifestation of a needle phobia - I'm not afraid of feeling faint, though I normally do afterwards.

    The last few times, my boyfriend has skyped with me and that made it easier. He calmed me down while I was doing it. Today he's been unavailable and I tried to do it myself and I just can't. I'm going to wait for him to be available. I hate that I feel dependant on his help now though. I want to be able to do it alone without help. But I am a total mess here.

    I feel ashamed that I need help and feel so much fear over something that logically is not frightening at all, and angry at myself.

    How do I overcome this fear? What can I tell myself that will help me not link it to my history of self harm?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Posts
    4,889

    Re: Needle phobia - first time posting about this

    Hmm, tricky issue that I think you've correctly identified with a past problem.


    I would say that first and foremost try and deal with the feeling of shame. There's nothing to be ashamed about as this is a pretty common fear. You are effectively damaging yourself by sticking a sharp metal point into your skin, and your survival instinct is kicking in. The fight or flight response will always overpower logic in the emotional sense. You are not refusing to do something that will ultimately harm other people, you are just frightened of a needle, it's normal. You are not alone with this fear, there will be literally thousands of people all over the world hesitating with a needle in their hand every single day.

    In terms of disconnecting from the self harm, I wonder if self mantras will help. The reaction you're having is very likely deeply rooted in your subconscious, but that can be re-programmed with conscious behaviour. When you need to inject, keep telling yourself (out loud if necessary) that you are doing this from positive choice, and you are doing this to improve your health. Self harm is usually linked to negative emotions right? Self hatred, trauma, punishment etc. This is the total opposite. This is you caring about yourself enough to endure discomfort to make things better. It might take a while for your subconscious to react, but persevere with it and I'm sure it will get easier over time.

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