Mom has covid

[AntsyVee]

Good to hear! Keep us posted!

[bg222]

I checked in with my parents today and although my mom is feeling fine, now my dad has developed some head cold type symptoms including more of a cough than he had before. Although I know this is common with covid and cough is one of the most common symptoms, I'm still having a hard time not spiraling with thoughts like "well, this is it. This is the start of his dip into severe symptoms. He didn't really have a cough before so the fact that it now developed means he's getting worse." He's on day 6 of symptoms so I feel like this was the time frame I was especially dreading where they say you can suddenly take a turn. I also tend to have a really superstitious/jinx kind of anxiety about things, so I have a hard time not thinking that just when I was starting to feel a little less intense anxiety about all this and feel like they were going to be ok, now this comes up and I'm back almost where I was at the beginning with worry. Kind of like it was a cruel joke that I was thinking they'd be ok and now the rug's being pulled out from beneath me and everything's going to come crashing down just like it was always meant to do. I'm aware how overreactive this thinking is and how the simple fact that finding out my dad now has a cough has sent me straight off the cliff.

I have been working so hard at therapy and CBT in the last few months and have been feeling like I'm actually making a lot of progress in terms of being aware of my thoughts and how I end up feeling like this. But this whole experience is really setting me back. I know it's normal to have a few steps forward and a step (or a few steps) back while digging out of the hole these mental health issues put us in. But I'm still struggling with this a lot nonetheless.

[Pamplemousse]

I also tend to have a really superstitious/jinx kind of anxiety about things, so I have a hard time not thinking that just when I was starting to feel a little less intense anxiety about all this and feel like they were going to be ok, now this comes up and I'm back almost where I was at the beginning with worry. Kind of like it was a cruel joke that I was thinking they'd be ok and now the rug's being pulled out from beneath me and everything's going to come crashing down just like it was always meant to do. I'm aware how overreactive this thinking is and how the simple fact that finding out my dad now has a cough has sent me straight off the cliff.

Oh, I know that feeling; a sort of guiltiness for thinking it'll be okay and then this is a sort of punishment for thinking so?

I used to joke that my mixed Catholic/CofE upbringing meant I could do whatever I liked, but feel really guilty afterwards...

[bg222]

Oh, I know that feeling; a sort of guiltiness for thinking it'll be okay and then this is a sort of punishment for thinking so?

I used to joke that my mixed Catholic/CofE upbringing meant I could do whatever I liked, but feel really guilty afterwards...

YEP! I was raised Catholic and I am positive some of these feelings of "superstitious/jinx" and "must be more than a coincidence" are related to that. Definitely some deeply ingrained guilt and shame underlying everything.

[pulisa]

I think most of us think that if we get too blase about things or if things turn out well for once we will pay the price somewhere along the line..

We tend to struggle with accepting good stuff without there being a payback.

It must be hard to hear that your dad has developed a cough without spiralling into worst case scenario territory straight away...but you have to keep reminding yourself that covid means a cough and the cough is a routine symptom. Not at all pleasant but you have no reason to believe that his breathing is severely compromised. It's a cough which is to be expected.

[Pamplemousse]

I think most of us think that if we get too blase about things or if things turn out well for once we will pay the price somewhere along the line..

We tend to struggle with accepting good stuff without there being a payback.

A line from a school hymn has always stuck in my head: "mornings of joy give for evenings of tearfulness*" - and then of course that phrase "there'll be tears before bedtime."

(* the hymn is O worship the Lord in the beauty of holiness - http://www.traditionalmusic.co.uk/hy...f_holiness.htm)

[leanderson2012]

I checked in with my parents today and although my mom is feeling fine, now my dad has developed some head cold type symptoms including more of a cough than he had before. Although I know this is common with covid and cough is one of the most common symptoms, I'm still having a hard time not spiraling with thoughts like "well, this is it. This is the start of his dip into severe symptoms. He didn't really have a cough before so the fact that it now developed means he's getting worse." He's on day 6 of symptoms so I feel like this was the time frame I was especially dreading where they say you can suddenly take a turn. I also tend to have a really superstitious/jinx kind of anxiety about things, so I have a hard time not thinking that just when I was starting to feel a little less intense anxiety about all this and feel like they were going to be ok, now this comes up and I'm back almost where I was at the beginning with worry. Kind of like it was a cruel joke that I was thinking they'd be ok and now the rug's being pulled out from beneath me and everything's going to come crashing down just like it was always meant to do. I'm aware how overreactive this thinking is and how the simple fact that finding out my dad now has a cough has sent me straight off the cliff.

I have been working so hard at therapy and CBT in the last few months and have been feeling like I'm actually making a lot of progress in terms of being aware of my thoughts and how I end up feeling like this. But this whole experience is really setting me back. I know it's normal to have a few steps forward and a step (or a few steps) back while digging out of the hole these mental health issues put us in. But I'm still struggling with this a lot nonetheless.

You’re doing an amazing job of working through your HA during what is probably one of the scariest (if not the scariest) times of your life. It sounds like you have great self-awareness and perspective; it’s amazing that you can identify what your anxiety based thought patterns are, and you should be proud of that. I too struggle with the magical thinking, superstition based thoughts, and am constantly needing to remind myself that being fixated and anxious on something will not guarantee me a better outcome. It’s a really hard cycle to break, and it’s impressive that you can have that presence of mind to identify what’s going on in your brain during this scary time.

If it helps at all, I had covid in October, and I was very nervous when I developed the cough. Similar to you, I thought “Well, this is it. It’s in my lungs now and it’s downhill from here.” I was sure this would lead to pneumonia. Turns out, coughing is GOOD for you and helps prevent pneumonia! My nurse friend kept telling me to cough. It keeps things loose in your lungs, and helps prevent any build up or settling. So, as perverse at it may seem, it’s a great thing that your dad is coughing!

I hope your parents are feeling better today. I’m so impressed with how you’re handling this. My parents getting covid is my worst fear as well, and seeing you navigate through this with great presence of mind is very inspiring. Keeping you in my thoughts, I’m sure everything is going to be just fine!

[bg222]

You’re doing an amazing job of working through your HA during what is probably one of the scariest (if not the scariest) times of your life. It sounds like you have great self-awareness and perspective; it’s amazing that you can identify what your anxiety based thought patterns are, and you should be proud of that. I too struggle with the magical thinking, superstition based thoughts, and am constantly needing to remind myself that being fixated and anxious on something will not guarantee me a better outcome. It’s a really hard cycle to break, and it’s impressive that you can have that presence of mind to identify what’s going on in your brain during this scary time.

If it helps at all, I had covid in October, and I was very nervous when I developed the cough. Similar to you, I thought “Well, this is it. It’s in my lungs now and it’s downhill from here.” I was sure this would lead to pneumonia. Turns out, coughing is GOOD for you and helps prevent pneumonia! My nurse friend kept telling me to cough. It keeps things loose in your lungs, and helps prevent any build up or settling. So, as perverse at it may seem, it’s a great thing that your dad is coughing!

I hope your parents are feeling better today. I’m so impressed with how you’re handling this. My parents getting covid is my worst fear as well, and seeing you navigate through this with great presence of mind is very inspiring. Keeping you in my thoughts, I’m sure everything is going to be just fine!

Thank you so much for your kind words. And thank you to all the others as well who commented. My parents are now both out of that "10 day horror window" from the start of symptoms and they are both doing much better, a little mild congestion left and not much else. What a scary, scary spike of anxiety that was for me though. leanderson2012, your comment about reminding yourself that being fixated/anxious on something will not guarantee a better outcome was so spot on. I would also add that it helps to remind myself that being fixated/anxious also does not guarantee a bad outcome!! I think sometimes (always?) we trick ourselves into thinking we are somehow controlling the outcome by pre-worrying about everything but also that we are kind of just preparing ourselves for that worst thing that could happen by worrying about it in advance, and that by worrying a ton we somehow believe we may be "cursed" into being the one who this terrible thing is going to happen to. In reality, there's no relationship between the worrying and the likelihood of an event. I think I need to just print that out and tape that everywhere in my house so I can re-read that all day!! That is the central feature of the superstitious stuff for me. My husband calls it my "waiting for the other shoe to drop" mentality.

Anyways, just wanted to give an update here in case anyone is following that my parents seem to be doing just fine. I am always worrying in the back of my mind about long-term covid effects or stuff that will get discovered later, etc. I think I am not alone in that worry - probably even those who are not severely prone to anxiety worry about that. But the whole experience has helped me grow in the sense that the next time panic strikes, I will remind myself that I FULLY expected the absolute worst to play out here, and it did not.

[pulisa]

Really glad to hear this about your parents! There's potential for so much scary stuff with covid due to the unpredictability of symptoms etc etc so it's natural for us to fear the worst...but that doesn't mean to say that the worst is guaranteed although it's much easier to say this in hindsight rather than when you're going through the wringer of panic and fear!

[Scass]

Really pleased your parents are better. Thank you for sharing.


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