Loss of appetite

[cattia]

I'm back at work today. I feel like there is a lump in my chest every time I eat. My friend said I look like I've lost weight over Christmas so of course that has made me more anxious that I have rapid weight loss. Just not doing well at the moment!

[cattia]

Hi everyone
Just thought I would update this thread as it’s been a few weeks. Things have been up and down but still largely unresolved. I went for bloods and then I was too scared to call for the results, but they didn’t call me which I took to be a good sign.

The floating stool issue is on and off. Most days they float, but some days they sink so I managed to convince myself that maybe that was OK.

What is still bothering me and getting steadily worse is the pain under my left rib cage every time I swallow. It happens as the food moves into my stomach and is like a cramping pain under the ribs on the left hand side. It started out being only when I swallowed cold drinks but now it is happening with every mouthful of food. I’m also getting a lot of bleaching which also triggers the same pain. It doesn’t happen with any other kind of movement so I don’t think it’s muscular.

I eventually requested a call from the Dr and he rang me yesterday. It was my regular Dr which was good as he knows my history. He said my bloods were all normal and he thinks it sounds like gastritis or esophagitis. I know that those are almost always caused by H pylori though and when I did a home test for that it came back negative so I am already doubting that, especially as I have only had phone consultations since this started and nobody has examined me.

He has put me on omperazole for two weeks and said if that doesn’t help, then he will refer me for an endoscopy. I am pretty anxious about it still because the pain has got steadily worse and it feels like there is something stuck under my left rib. I will try to give the meds chance to work. I am on 40mg which is above the minimum dose.

[jojo2316]

Hi Cattia
so I have had the exact same symptoms as you - a feeling of discomfort as food moved through my chest. I would lock myself in the loo and test it with varying sizes of hard food (swallowing large lumps of unchewed apple is a BAD idea I can tell you!). Eventually I had a gastroscopy and everything was fine, and after that my symptoms disappeared. Do you a large part of your problem might be hyper awareness? Xxx

[cattia]

Hi Jojo. It does kind of hearten me to read about other people doing the same kind of crazy stuff that HA has me doing even though I'm sorry anyone has to go through it.
I do think hyper focus plays a part in it. The pain when I'm swallowing is more sort of vague, but the pain when I burp is quite a specific pain in one spot and I can reduce it by pressing really hard under my ribs. I wonder if it's a hernia or something. Which would be better than a tumour obviously.
I'm afraid I'll end up having to go for a gastroscopy as well, and I know a few people who've picked up covid attending hospital so that doesn't help!
I've also got floating stool still probably 80% of the time. But I guess my pancreas bloods came back clear.

[pulisa]

Yes they did and that was very good news so time to stop ruminating on that one?

It's no good speculating on "diagnosis". Why not just take the prescribed PPIs and try not to get too far ahead of yourself re potential endoscopy etc? Anxiety and hyperfocusing will not be helping your symptoms and if you can avoid having any hospital tests at the moment so much the better? Give yourself the best chance to calm things down with the PPIs, a non-acidic diet and a ban on Dr Google?!

[cattia]

Thanks Pulisa, I’ve been really good with googling which is hard for me as I always make excuses for myself to justify doing it. Of course when you’ve been googling most of your adult life unfortunately you have access to a bank of information that you can’t unread, but at least I’m not reinforcing it by reading the same stuff over and over.
I am going to give the drugs the full two weeks before I contact that dr again. I have a job interview coming up this week which is something for me to focus on. I’m in an interim post at work at the moment and this is to make it permanent. I really love this job so if that works out at least it will be something to give me a boost, and I’m trying really hard to move on from the thoughts of I won’t be able to do the job because I’ll be too sick, which I keep having, but I’m trying to let them pass.

[pulisa]

The very best of luck for the job interview, cattia. That will give you a much needed focus and means of distraction from dreaded health issues which can so quickly take an unhelpful hold.

You really don't want to be held back by HA and that's what it's doing. All this worry and need for "reassuring" tests which are just the opposite. Good to know you have a sensible plan to follow the medical advice and take the PPIs for 2 weeks. They are effective drugs used short term and I hope they are effective and give you some physical and mental respite from your discomfort. The job interview and focus on that will complement the pharmaceutical intervention. Please let us know how the interview goes and good luck again! x

[cattia]

Just checking in to say that I got my job today which is great news. My anxiety about this pain is still doing a number on me but I am trying to make a real conscious effort to enjoy the good news even with my symptoms still present.

[pulisa]

That's FANTASTIC, cattia! Really well done!! Don't let HA spoil such an achievement? I can imagine what you're thinking now but please try to focus on the positive news and how well you have done to get this job.

[cattia]

Thanks Pulisa. I can see this is an example of all or nothing thinking. I feel like I can’t be happy AT ALL as long as I have ANY symptoms. But I know that I need to work on this as it is possible for people to still experience happiness, even when some areas of their life are very challenging, for example through genuine illness. So I am trying to work on being happy about the job (which I really am) without attaching that to my anxiety about my symptoms, which tells me that I shouldn’t be happy, or i don’t have the right to be happy because I have this awful thing hanging over me.