Loss of appetite

[cattia]

Hi Pulisa,
Yes I'm a teacher and I'm in a new leadership job this year so it's even more stressful than usual. It's a hard question to answer what I would say to a student who has health anxiety. I think I would just want them to know that someone understands how hard it is as I often find other people's lack of understanding the hardest thing to deal with. I guess I would also encourage them to look for the underlying triggers for their anxiety. I think I'm more able to recognise mine now but I don't always manage to stop it before it spirals.

I am obsessing badly about floating stool and the stomach pain I get when I'm drinking. I can't stop thinking about these things all the time and I can't focus on anything else. I really wish I'd never read about the floating stool thing because that's really sent me over the edge. I'm wondering whether to call my Dr. today.

[cattia]

Thanks Nora, you didn't embarrass me, I just feel embarrassed myself when I look at the time I've wasted on this (my own and other people's) and I'm frustrated that I'm still doing the same thing. It's good to know that other people understand. I feel so guilty that when I'm working I don't have enough time to focus on them and then once I have a holiday I get some health worry that takes up all my time and energy. It's exhausting!

[pulisa]

Hi Pulisa,
Yes I'm a teacher and I'm in a new leadership job this year so it's even more stressful than usual. It's a hard question to answer what I would say to a student who has health anxiety. I think I would just want them to know that someone understands how hard it is as I often find other people's lack of understanding the hardest thing to deal with. I guess I would also encourage them to look for the underlying triggers for their anxiety. I think I'm more able to recognise mine now but I don't always manage to stop it before it spirals.

I am obsessing badly about floating stool and the stomach pain I get when I'm drinking. I can't stop thinking about these things all the time and I can't focus on anything else. I really wish I'd never read about the floating stool thing because that's really sent me over the edge. I'm wondering whether to call my Dr. today.

I certainly understand all about HA and that's why I would only go to the GP for red flag symptoms and won't have tests for reassurance, only for clinical need. Both my adult children have ASD so it would only panic them more if I gave my HA free rein.

I think it helps to have a GP who understands HA and doesn't enable it. I've turned down many tests for reassurance purposes and yes it's hard but it has given me more of a sense of control over what tests I want/need.

Let us know what your GP says as I know you need to phone him/her...and once these thoughts have got a hold it's very hard to just dismiss them so all the more reason to discipline yourself as regards "research"...You can't unread this stuff but it's so unhelpful and causes needless misery.

[jojo2316]

So sorry you are struggling at the moment Cattia. It sounds like a bit of a spiral. I am in one too, so I really do understand how you feel. Like me, this is a chronic problem for you, and you just have to ride this flare-up out. You talk of being sick of the constant “cycle”. But - I’m not sure we will ever truly be free of it and - actually- this realisation has helped me a bit. It has given me a bit more patience with myself. I can enjoy the periods of “remission” and not despair- too much- with the relapses. Look after yourself. Xx

[cattia]

Sorry you're struggling too Jojo. I think you're right about accepting it. For me I know it's something I am always likely to suffer with but then when my anxiety is better I get complacent and think that I won't get that bad ever again. Once it takes hold it's amazing how quickly it progresses. I can go from feeling fine to having a complete meltdown in a matter of days.

I'm still obsessing today and starting to think I can feel these spasms with food as well as drink. Also still going through my poo obsession!

I have requested a call back from my Dr although I know there isn't much they can do as even a referral now would take ages with the hospitals the way they are. I also feel guilty for taking up their time at the moment with everything that's going on. But I did mention in the form that my anxiety has got really bad again as well.

[jojo2316]

Sorry you're struggling too Jojo. I think you're right about accepting it. For me I know it's something I am always likely to suffer with but then when my anxiety is better I get complacent and think that I won't get that bad ever again. Once it takes hold it's amazing how quickly it progresses. I can go from feeling fine to having a complete meltdown in a matter of days.

I'm still obsessing today and starting to think I can feel these spasms with food as well as drink. Also still going through my poo obsession!

I have requested a call back from my Dr although I know there isn't much they can do as even a referral now would take ages with the hospitals the way they are. I also feel guilty for taking up their time at the moment with everything that's going on. But I did mention in the form that my anxiety has got really bad again as well.

I just want to give you a hug! Don’t beat yourself up for having a blip. It has been a stressful term, followed by a holiday..... all that cortisol makes your brain find new things to worry about. Cue health scare.

And don’t feel bad going to the doctor. There is no harm getting checked out and, anyway, anxiety is a completely legitimate issue in its own right.

I am currently awaiting an ENT appointment for some palpable lymph nodes in my neck. Doctor says it is just to reassure me, but I’m terrified it’s cancer. Of course. So I feel your pain.
xxx

[pulisa]

I think HA has become all the more prominent during this pandemic because you know that the focus is all on covid and other illnesses/conditions are shunted to one side with services curtailed or cancelled. Despite protestations to the contrary..

Cattia, I hope you can speak to your GP today. It's difficult to know where to draw the line without tests which would maybe cause you further anxiety..but without tests your mind wouldn't have "closure"..whatever that means with HA?

Jojo..I hope your appointment comes through promptly because you do need reassurance and a professional opinion. HA is a complex, distressing and mystifying beast of a mindset xx

[cattia]

Thank you both. Jojo I hope your appointment comes through soon, waiting is the worst. It sounds like your Dr isn’t worried at all which is good news, but I know that until you get the results you can’t help thinking the worst.

Pulisa, I think the pandemic does make it worse for those reasons, because it seems like this would be the worst time to have something really serious. Funnily enough I don’t worry much about Covid, my worries haven’t really changed. What is interesting though, is to see people I know who have never experienced HA before suddenly getting really anxious about Covid, I’m like, ‘Welcome to my life...’

I’m now starting to worry that I can feel the oesophageal spasms when I’m eating as well so that’s making me even more anxious about eating, I’m worried there is a mass in my chest somewhere. The email from the dr said that they would call me back before tomorrow evening so hopefully I can talk to someone tomorrow. The thought of more tests is making me anxious but so is the thought of not having them.

[pulisa]

I'd take covid over cancer any day, believe me.

You are spiralling, cattia. You will be focusing on swallowing and the eating process and nothing will feel "right". My son has no oesophagus and food gets stuck at the anastomosis where his stomach is joined to the back of his throat. There is no mistaking true dysphagia or issues with oesophageal motility. As for a mass in your chest..You must try to keep things in perspective and remember that you will have access to your GP tomorrow.

[jojo2316]

Thank you both. Jojo I hope your appointment comes through soon, waiting is the worst. It sounds like your Dr isn’t worried at all which is good news, but I know that until you get the results you can’t help thinking the worst.

Pulisa, I think the pandemic does make it worse for those reasons, because it seems like this would be the worst time to have something really serious. Funnily enough I don’t worry much about Covid, my worries haven’t really changed. What is interesting though, is to see people I know who have never experienced HA before suddenly getting really anxious about Covid, I’m like, ‘Welcome to my life...’

I’m now starting to worry that I can feel the oesophageal spasms when I’m eating as well so that’s making me even more anxious about eating, I’m worried there is a mass in my chest somewhere. The email from the dr said that they would call me back before tomorrow evening so hopefully I can talk to someone tomorrow. The thought of more tests is making me anxious but so is the thought of not having them.

That is so funny- I too feel a bit perplexed when non-vulnerable people are developing HA about COVID. covid is small-fry compared to the horrors I imagine! (That said, it is of course awful for some- I don’t mean to belittle it)

Also - the swallowing thing I can very much relate to. So often my HA is centred on my swallowing and the panoply of weird sensations that crop up when I focus on it. So much so that I have had three gastroscopies- so convinced have I been that a tumour must be causing my symptoms. Hyper awareness is an amazing thing.

Good luck with the GP tomorrow
xxx