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Thread: Any tips on how to stop "checking" yourself?

  1. #1

    Any tips on how to stop "checking" yourself?

    (Sorry if I posted this in the wrong place, I've just joined this forum)

    My brain has developed this horrible habit of constantly checking on if I feel anxious ect
    I will feel completely fine no anxiety then my brain goes "wait..im feeling normal! no anxiety!" and then of course I remember and start to feel anxious again
    The thought is just so automatic and my body reacts with anxiety automatically. It's like my brain doesn't want me to feel normal!!
    Has anyone got any tips for combating thoughts like these?

  2. #2

    Re: Any tips on how to stop "checking" yourself?

    Hello Chloefaye ... the mind is an terrible prankster to us who gets the eebie geebies. I'm not sure that I have specific tips but I can empathise.I go through bouts of inexplicable anxiety and like you (and zillions of others) I can go from hero to zero in seconds and all because that self-doubt sneaks in just as soon as you open the door to brighter days. It'll slowly ease off but can take weeks. At least you know you're doing it which shows you have insight into what is going on. I like to think I do too but that doesn't stop me from flipping between the side to side of the anxiety pendulum. Last few weeks I've been getting serious bloating whenever I eat a meal ... so of course I think it's bowel cancer ...cue the relentless probing of the belly for bumps, the focus on every twinge, rumble of wind (sweet zephyrs) and the consequent low mood from thinking worse case scenario. It's been a few weeks now and still at work, ... so maybe, just maybe I'll survive !
    BUT WHY THE BLOAT ? ... associated tingle in the forearms and tension in shoulders, the shallow breathing - its just my old friend stress !

    ... I hope. - stay off the coffee ?

  3. #3
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    Re: Any tips on how to stop "checking" yourself?

    Quote Originally Posted by chloefaye View Post
    My brain has developed this horrible habit of constantly checking on if I feel anxious ect
    I will feel completely fine no anxiety then my brain goes "wait..im feeling normal! no anxiety!" and then of course I remember and start to feel anxious again
    When I had a mental breakdown, those rare few seconds when I felt 'something' like normal triggered a full on panic attacks!

    The thought is just so automatic and my body reacts with anxiety automatically. It's like my brain doesn't want me to feel normal!!
    Has anyone got any tips for combating thoughts like these?
    Your brain is hardwired for negativity. Studies have shown that this is from birth, not just learned behaviour.

    Bottom line: it's about survival. It stems back to early man. It's all very scientific..

    Anyway, while the dangers that we face nowadays differ greatly from our cave-dwelling ancestors, the 'mechanics' remain the same, and our brains respond to our imagined dangers as if they are real. This is why it's a lot harder to think positively than it is to think negatively, and this is also why millions of people tune into watching EastEnders every Christmas Day.

    While you feel like shit (and I know because I've been there) your body is actually responding as it should. It's just that your fight or flight is constantly triggered because you are constantly having fearful thoughts. Your body is working very hard for you! You probably feel like you are about to die? Like you will collapse to the floor any second? I felt like that all the time, but I never, ever, hit the floor. I just didn't understand what was happening inside of me, and how my own thoughts were responsible. Then I heaped fear onto what is the normal physical response to stress and I totally allowed my imagination to take control of me..

    But the day comes where you know you have to get back into the drivers seat if you want your life back. We've all seen the action movies? It's like that - ish. We do this by telling ourselves that we are going to get better, not that 'we will try, but'. How many times have I seen 'buts' on here? (leave it)

    The 'but' is where HA has you firmly by the genitals. You have to be absolute in wanting to regain control, and willing to put the effort in and not to give up when 'at first we do not succeed'. For some people, it's just easier to stay where they are. For others, it's subconsciously (or even consciously) where they actually want to be because it serves them in some way. That wasn't me. I desperately wanted the out of that particular situation, so I right-hooked HA in the chops and climbed back into the drivers seat - like a sweaty Sandra Bullock (only I look nowt like her). Ok, it wasn't that fast. Or remotely Sandra Bullocky. It was a slow slog back to relative sanity (relative for me) but I find that re-framing HA (and making it look a div) helps me a lot - like little Kevin makes fools of the bad guys in Home Alone.

    Just as the brain reacts to fear by releasing stress hormones - it reacts to positivity by releasing the happy hormones!

    Bottom line: make that imagination work for you! (and the one thing all people with HA have, is a bloody good imagination!)

    My tips for this are as follows..

    1. Accept fearful thoughts for what they are, as in, just thoughts. They're not real.

    2. Understand that your brain is wired to respond to these imaginary dangers as if they were real because it cannot tell the difference.

    3. Don't try to force yourself not to have these thoughts - that will only make things worse. Let them in. Observe them. Don't react with fear.

    4. Practice relaxation as much as possible - even if at first you can only manage a second or two. Expect it to be hard at first, unpleasant even. Keep doing it.

    5. Accept that the physical sensations of anxiety are unpleasant, but they're not harmful in any way.

    6. Learn to breathe properly so when your heart starts to race you can slow it down promptly - which turns off the ANS (autonomic nervous system) and triggers the PNS (parasympathetic nervous system).

    7. Stay away from stimulants - body and mind.

    8. Think of one thing to be thankful for each day - no matter how crap that day has been.

    9. Accept the potential for illness, and the inevitability of death, as death will happen to every living thing on this planet. We're here now.

    10. Laugh, because fear and laughter (genuine laughter, not manic laughter) cannot exist at the same time. Laughter releases feel good hormones. It's medicinal.

    11. Dr Google is shite. AVOID! AVOID! AVOID!

    12. It's OK to throw yourself onto your bed, beat your pillows up and say rude words. It's therapeutic but only if it's the exception, not the norm.

    13. Understand that when you have anxiety, you are sensitised and hyper-focused. Your body will feel 'alien' to you and normal things can look 'abnormal'. This is just your mind playing tricks on you. This is what HA does..

    14. This will pass. All things do. You'll be ok.

    Hope some of this helps.
    Last edited by NoraB; 04-01-21 at 09:41.
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  4. #4
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    Re: Any tips on how to stop "checking" yourself?

    This is very helpful to me.

    Thanks.

  5. #5
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    Re: Any tips on how to stop "checking" yourself?

    Phil, you may find printing out Nora's post useful as you would then have a visual checklist of helpful "tips" to keep you from catastrophising/spiralling.

    Visual prompts may help more to keep you "on track" because they represent concrete advice and are to the point.

  6. #6
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    Re: Any tips on how to stop "checking" yourself?

    Quote Originally Posted by pulisa View Post
    Phil, you may find printing out Nora's post useful as you would then have a visual checklist of helpful "tips" to keep you from catastrophising/spiralling.

    Visual prompts may help more to keep you "on track" because they represent concrete advice and are to the point.
    Just saw this reply sorry, as I was looking for it to help me through this moment. Thanks.

  7. #7
    Join Date
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    Re: Any tips on how to stop "checking" yourself?

    I think the trick is to infuse your thinking with constructive and meaningful thoughts. Score your imagination and inner-monologue with beautiful and satisfying imagery and ambitions. We sometimes allow our minds to free-write dismal inner-monologues and feel stuck but these thoughts are not the status-quo and shouldn't be entertained. You're a vibrant, charismatic, and important person. Recognise your skills and abilities and set yourself benchmarks for purposeful actions. Pursue hobbies and interests that appeal to you.

    There's more to be said.

    By all means, reach out on william_taylor@hotmail.co.uk

    Happy to discuss it further with you.

  8. #8
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    Re: Any tips on how to stop "checking" yourself?

    The last bit is what I find most useful, but I can't do them things at the minute because I can't function well enough to. I try, I fail, I try again... it will come one day hopefully, because this is a bad place to be in.

  9. #9
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    Re: Any tips on how to stop "checking" yourself?

    That's a really helpful post Nora

  10. #10
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    Re: Any tips on how to stop "checking" yourself?

    Quote Originally Posted by PHR View Post
    The last bit is what I find most useful, but I can't do them things at the minute because I can't function well enough to. I try, I fail, I try again... it will come one day hopefully, because this is a bad place to be in.
    The fact that you try isn't in fact a "fail". It's a perceived "fail". What you see as "success" wouldn't be eradication of anxiety but an ability to live comfortably with and accepting of anxiety.

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