more side effects???

[madamgg]

Hi all
I've been on citalapram for 3 weeks now and not really feeling any major benefits had awful trouble sleeping which righted itself for 5 nights now is back!! Now i feel so shaky and i am v aware of my heart beating particularly in my head...does that sound totally weird? Think it's stopping me sleeping.
Just when i thought i should be getting better i seem to get a bit worse or a new weird side effect!
Anyone else have this? Feel like i'm still one step away from total madness!!!
Thanks
Jane

[joannap]

hi jane

i have been on the same a'd for 2 weeks now and would say have not yet felt any benefit at all - only coped with the side effects for the last 2 weeks by acceptance alone. i am not sure how bad my anxiety would have been had i not take the tablets as i felt terrible before i started them but i have had hardly any sleep for 2 weeks, racing thoughts, feelings of not being real and trying to figure the whole world out sort of thing plus jaw tension and headaches. i don't think 3 weeks is v long - i have read that some people start to see improvements after 3 weeks - others it can take longer. lets hope the kick in soon.

it has made me realise however that even if i were not on any medication - i could just about cope because like you say - they don;t seem to be doing much at the moment!

[joannap]

ps if you were going mad you would not think you were - you just would so don;t worry - you're not!

[joannap]

pps. just had another thought - the more we worry about the side effects - the more we release our old enemy adrenalin which will increase the sensations that you are worried about! vicious cycle i know! i would give them at least another 3 weeks before you worry that they will not work for you. on the leaflet it says an effect should be felt after 3-4 weeks so you are not even there yet. x

[madamgg]

thank you joanap, wise words, i am very impatient and don't like taking pills and i guess the nature of anxiety is you assume the worst! Your right not to focus on the side effects as it can make them seem worse. Just need to take one day at a time.
It really helps to know your not alone though. Can't wait for them to kick in!
The sleepless ness is just the worst isn't it!

[joannap]

just wish i could be as wise to myself! so pleased to have found someone on same journey re medication as me! the sleep thing has been awful for me. when your brain is so tired and anxious and you just want to get some rest but can;t! the first few nights on it - i felt really tired but i went to bed at like 11pm and was still wide awake at 3am! even if i go to sleep i only get about an hour or so and then i wake up again! i can't even sleep in the day (luckily i work from home and have a husband to support me somewhat) - if i lay on the sofa i feel on the verge of sleep but then the tiniest noise will wake me up!

went to bed with really bad headache last night and actually went to sleep within about an hour and half (yay!) but then the dog had me up 3 times in the night with the runs!

i do remember this sleep thing happening years ago when i was on a'd's and it did pass after about 3 weeks or so. i have also read that if you get bad side effects its a sign that the drug will be of benefit - the more effects the better they will work kind of thing.

i do not know what has led you to take them but looking back i have had ocd and gad/panic since i was a child but it has got much worse from age 21. i am now 32. i have been through some terribly stressful patches in my life and it really kicks all mine off. the trouble is - when i feel better i never make time to relax, wind down etc so am really looking at altering my lifestyle to minimise it in the future. i also tend to pile stress on myself and am a bit of a perfectionist! i suppose it is all a learning curve! the hardest thing i find is that you can sort of see what lead up to feeling like this but i find it incredibly difficult to relax and accept it - i know if i did the adrenalin would calm down and my thoughts/emotions/sensations would calm down but everyday i get in a state about being in a state! i feel slightly better by evening but then i think i have to wake up the next day and start all over again!

[madamgg]

i have had exactly the same with sleep worried myself stupid that those hours in the night that your awake will just increase the anxiety and that is the last thing you need. i can almost cope with the tiredness it's just being awake when everyone is asleep. my boyfriend is v supportive but can't keep him awake too!
i too have been trying to reassure myself that the worse the effects the greater the benefits.
I had panic attacks when i was 20 bout 15 years ago and got through it in few months was on amytripaline which did help, always been quite an anxious person lots of phobias lifts, tubes etc but now i think it;s life change me and my boyfriend been talking bout having kids which i kind of want but scares me v much and is part of my phobia in a way of can't get off/no going back!!!

[joannap]

the dreaded should i have kids question!!! i can go with you on that one - i am the same! almost became obsessive about it a few years back - trying to make a decision overnight as it were. my fears are the same as yours - would i resent having a child when it was here? would it make my anxiety much worse? i have had awful ocd thoughts and would worry about having them about my baby!

what i try to do is to let all of this go and think - do i have a real longing to have a child? at the moment the answer is no - i love babies (my friend has just had one) but i have no yearning as yet to have one of my own. although i am 33 this year and getting bit sick of people asking me when i am going to have one!

[madamgg]

it's the clock ticking thing isn't it, at 35 i am really feeling it and my younger sis has just had one so it's like oh god...pressure!
I've been having really awful 'what if' thought with my anxiety as in what if i freaked out and hurt someone or flipped out, do you have those?? i know i'd never do anything and it is just anxiety but it's damn scarey partic as it seems to be much worse when i'm around kids it's horrible when i'm with my nephews who i adore and these thoughts are swirling round going what if i just hurt them threw them down the stairs ect god it sends a shiver just writing that, i could never hurt anyone...

[joannap]

YES! YES! YES!

I am a total animal lover - always have been and have taken on so many rescue cases etc and we have 3 dogs of our own. when my anxiety was really bad (as it is now!) i get horrible thoughts that perhaps i will hurt them or maybe i WANT to hurt them which scares me stupid. the silly thing is is that i can think these thoughts one moment and the next i am checking that they have clean water, that their blanket is comfy enough etc!

i have also had horrible paedophile thoughts such as what if i abused my nephew and niece and then its like my mind will think up the worst thought horrible just to torment me with which then brings on major panic. i just cannot believe your mind will turn on you in this way! i have just read imp of the mind and the secret is to allow yourself to think these thoughts and not try to console yourself - just let them be there and they gradually fade away - i suppose like accepting the anxiety feelings so you are not alone. x