anxiety sky high need advise

[hopeful]

I'm on 20mg citalopram but due to family problems my anxiety is getting out of control again.For the last 3 days Ive had headache,felt very sick and been trembling with fear about whats going to happen.My son 16 has decided to drop out of 6th form even though he has 13 grade a-c gcse's.Ive talked to him and if he is so unhappy at school thenI'm ok about him leaving.He and my hubby are not getting along at the moment although after the last blow up 3 days ago things have calmed down again.Im just so worried for the future.I love my family so much but I cant cope with arguments.Should I increase my dose to cope or just struggle on.HELP!
julie x

[sagey]

Hi Hopeful. I know how you feel when family stuff adds to the stress. Are you able to get to the doc. to discuss your dose and have his opinion? Have you discussed with your husband how added tension affects you? I'm always hopng my family will behave themselves so I can try and calm down. I'm still shaking from my 17 year old getting very drunk 2 days ago. My husband was away and I wasn't able to drive and collect him from his mates house. Fortunately his mates step-dad drove him home at 2 in the morning and I looked after him all night. I was so afraid incase I had to get him to medical help and how would I do it. Fortunately he was OK but i'm still shaking. Don't struggle on, speak to your husband and see the doctor.

[hopeful]

Thanks for the reply. I've already spoken to my husband about it.Sometimes hes very understanding and other times he thinks Im putting it on,which I'm not.I dont really want to go back to the doctor yet cos up until 3 days ago I was feeling much better on the tablets.I've only been on them for 5 1/2 weeks. I know this willpass but I hate the feelings until it does. I understand people who turn to drink but I wont cos I need to be strong for my family.They are all so self centered at times and I feel like Im responsible for all of them but they dont seem to care that I'm doing my best.I guess I'll just keep plodding on and hope for the best.I just feel so worried.
julie x

[Lilith1980]

Hi Hopeful, I haven't got children but I can relate to what you say about people not understanding.

I explained to my fiance the other day that these feelings I have of insecurity and anxiety are not something I am in control of at the moment. I do not deliberately feel like this, I just do feel like this, and there is nothing I can do about it right now until I gain the necessary tools which will enable me to deal with it. He didnt realise that, I think he thought I could control the anxiety. I said if I could, I would be in such a mess right now.

I think there is a huge lack of understanding when it comes to anxiety. I think my fiance sees it as "excessive worrying" or worrying for the sake of worrying. But its not like that and that's what people do not understand. Its not his fault, you cannot really know what something is like until you experience it yourself.

I dont think your family mean to be self-centred, its just they cannot appreciate what you go through. Unfortunately, I have talked to my fiance before about some of the things I go through and he listens but I dont think he truly sees what it means.

Do you have any free time to do something for yourself, like have a hot bubble bath or something to pamper yourself?

Its good that you wont turn to drink - I am taking steps to cut down my alcohol consumption as I drink too much when I go out. It makes me feel so much worse in the morning and only serves to heighten the feelings of anxiety.

If you want to increase your dose then speak to your doctor but maybe you should give the tablets a little more time as they may not have fully kicked in yet?

[joannap]

hi guys

i don't have any children but i am married and am part of a large family who has experienced poverty/divorce/health issues etc. i read your posts and hope you don;t think i am preaching but think that maybe you are confusing common trials and tribulations with your anxiety if that makes sense? even non anxiety sufferers have huge family rows/problems and would expect to feel like you are feeling but because we are anxiety sufferers we fuel all our upset into our condition and then think - oh my god - is the anxiety coming back, are my tablets working etc. the thing is - anyone would feel really upset and stressed when having family probs - you would be strange if you didn;t and so although it is difficult - the way forward is deal with the actual problems instead of focusing on your anxiety as in sitting down with your son and husband and making some sort of plans for the future/family counselling etc.

i know myself that my anxiety goes sky high if i have stress in my life - its like i focus on the anxiety instead of the real problems/stresses in my life! i have also learnt to be a bit more self centred like some members of my family! and am learning to be more responsible for just myself although this must be hard when you have kids and just want to make everything right for them but the positives of your son dropping out of school means that he is really thinking about what it is that he wants to do with his life plus he has been really honest about how he feels so that must be a good thing!

[hopeful]

Thanks for the replies Lilith and Joannap.
I am giving the tablets more time before seeing the doctor again.They were working before all the upset in that they were lifting my mood.
I know everyone has family problems but I always feel that I cant cope when anything happens with mine.On Friday when I had to go to the bank I felt as though I was going to be sick. I was shaking and prayed that noone would talk to me as I just felt so scared.I managed though.Then on Saturday I had to go out again and felt the same,so I went to the chemist and bought a bottle of rescue remedy,after asking if it was ok to take with citalopram.It has really took the awful feelings away.
I just wish that I could cope with life without having to take anything.I feel like a failure,waiting now for the next problem to set me off again.My signature probably needs changing,cos although I would like to believe it,I dont.
julie x