Can’t go on

[pulisa]

And it IS all about quality of life and feeling able to engage in normal life again, medicated or not. Your daughter won't be chastising you for taking medication to feel better and calmer.
She'll feel the benefits though.

[Mr Polite]

Hi all. I’m still really struggling. I’m now on the case load for the crisis team as I’ve been having more and more suicidal thoughts. I go and see them most days. I’ve been moved on escitalopram at an increased dose and been given sleeping pills. It’s so tough and right now with no light at end of tunnel with anxiety, panic and depression coming at me, but need to hang in there for my family. My wife is really struggling with it all and looking after my daughter most of the time. Least we had some snow here today.

[Mr Polite]

Hi everyone, I’m just looking for some support. I’m just not sure how to keep going. How have people who have been so low and anxious 24/7 held it together? I feel like I am using all the recourses available - helplines, friends and family, started therapy, medication, my understanding of anxiety and previous cbt. But I don’t feel like anyone understands. I am constantly having suicidal thoughts and feel it’s inevitable that I will have to take my own life at some point. I’m feeling like a burden as I’m just feeling so negative about everything and feel like my wife and family are fed up with this. Anyone else been there?

[BlueIris]

I have, yes; I first had suicidal ideation age 6. Not sure what to tell you other than the fact that you're asking for help means that you're not ready to give up yet. These things take time; I know there's not much we can do to help but please come to us any time you feel you need it. You'll get there, but have an idea how hard the wait must be for you.

The suicidal thoughts are only thoughts, they're nothing deeper than that. You can let them go.

[Mr Polite]

I have, yes; I first had suicidal ideation age 6. Not sure what to tell you other than the fact that you're asking for help means that you're not ready to give up yet. These things take time; I know there's not much we can do to help but please come to us any time you feel you need it. You'll get there, but have an idea how hard the wait must be for you.

The suicidal thoughts are only thoughts, they're nothing deeper than that. You can let them go.

Thank you. Just having a response set me off in floods of tears. I’m sorry you had to deal with such feelings at such a young age.
Every morning I wake up thinking, right today’s the day and I google ‘easiest way to kill you self’, i feel so awful for saying this.

[BlueIris]

They're just thoughts. You don't need to act on them, you can let them pass you by. I know it sounds trite, but it can be a comfort, too.

If you're feeling brave, you can try dismissing them and making a deliberate attempt to turn your attention to something else. It's bloody hard work, but it does gradually start making things easier.

[Mr Polite]

They're just thoughts. You don't need to act on them, you can let them pass you by. I know it sounds trite, but it can be a comfort, too.

If you're feeling brave, you can try dismissing them and making a deliberate attempt to turn your attention to something else. It's bloody hard work, but it does gradually start making things easier.

Yes. You are right. My therapist talked about the advisor part of my mind being in complete control at the moment, trying to problem solve my way out of this and that’s why I keep arriving at suicide being the answer. She said the goal is to get my ‘noticer’ and ‘discoverer’ parts more active. So like you say, noticing them but not acting or judging. I am a natural problem solver so this incredibly difficult for me. I am off work at the moment but starting volunteering a few hours a week at my local food bank tomorrow to try and connect and do do something helpful for my community.

Thanks

[BlueIris]

That's great! Honestly, I know it feels counterintuitive but being around people can really help, purely for the distraction value and the positive feedback.

It sounds as though we have a lot in common. It's taken me a long time to get used to simply acknowledging thoughts without letting them tie me in knots; I still can't always manage it.

[Mr Polite]

That's great! Honestly, I know it feels counterintuitive but being around people can really help, purely for the distraction value and the positive feedback.

It sounds as though we have a lot in common. It's taken me a long time to get used to simply acknowledging thoughts without letting them tie me in knots; I still can't always manage it.

Yes it does. Everything about noticing and acknowledging feels so counterintuitive. Particularly when you are in a deep hole. I am hoping medication will give me a little of space to start working on it more actively.

[WILLIAMthedude]

Hey,

I understand how debilitating these things can be. I think the trick is to infuse your thinking with constructive and meaningful thoughts. Score your imagination and inner-monologue with beautiful and satisfying imagery and ambitions. We sometimes allow our minds to free-write dismal inner-monologues and feel stuck but these thoughts are not the status-quo and shouldn't be entertained. You're a vibrant, charismatic, and important person. Recognise your skills and abilities and set yourself benchmarks for purposeful actions. Pursue hobbies and interests that appeal to you.

There's more to be said.

By all means, reach out on william_taylor@hotmail.co.uk

Happy to discuss it further with you.