Can’t go on

[pulisa]

Hello. Happy new year. I’m feeling slightly calmer today. Managed to go to the park with my daughter this morning. And did 30 mins meditation. Still getting regular overwhelming pangs but trying hard not to react. Speaking on here yesterday definitely helped me. Thanks. One day at a time!

That's a big achievement, Mr P and 30 mins meditation is very impressive when each minute can be a challenge. Talk as much as you want on here if it helps.

[jojo2316]

I think you should feel very proud of this achievement. Aim for small victories, even if it’s just getting out for a walk or playing the piano. You can beat this - one day at a time

[Mr Polite]

I think you should feel very proud of this achievement. Aim for small victories, even if it’s just getting out for a walk or playing the piano. You can beat this - one day at a time

Thanks. Today has been less good but hanging in there. I think I’m worried about the fact that I am due back at work on Monday but don’t feel up it. My work are very understanding but it worries me nonetheless.

[pulisa]

Anticipatory anxiety is bound to set in and it's the pits because your brain will try to convince you that you're not up to it/won't be able to cope etc etc..

Try not to overthink a situation that hasn't happened and try not to catastrophise? Take your diazepam regularly, pace yourself and take it an hour at a time..Going back to work will give you some structure and routine and people will be sympathetic which all helps. Have faith in yourself and confidence in your ability to cope..The build up to Monday could well be the worst bit and once Monday comes it will be a question of getting back into work mode and being distracted from anxiety issues.

[jojo2316]

And to add to what Pulisa says.... I presume your work are aware of what you are currently going through? And if you need to be signed off for a bit this is a possibility?

[Mr Polite]

And to add to what Pulisa says.... I presume your work are aware of what you are currently going through? And if you need to be signed off for a bit this is a possibility?

I spoke to them last night and going to play by ear. I don’t like not working but I don’t want to make it worse. II had a couple of ok days and now I’m back to hyper anxiety and feeling extremely low and detached from everything. I am hoping it’s the increase in citaloptam that’s causing this and it’s settled soon. My daughter is at nursery for a few days this week so that gives me a little more time to rest.

[pulisa]

You might find it better to do a phased return to work making the most of the time at home when your daughter is at nursery but being at work when she's at home?

Are you able to rest at all though? It's hard with severe anxiety.

[Mr Polite]

You might find it better to do a phased return to work making the most of the time at home when your daughter is at nursery but being at work when she's at home?

Are you able to rest at all though? It's hard with severe anxiety.

Thanks. Yes It feels impossible to relax at home but I feel so ‘in my own head‘ at the moment to work - my job involves a lot interactions with others (usually face to face) but I’m struggling to hold even simple conversations right now. I get that I need to try an accept these feelings but it all feels so overwhelming it’s so hard not to want rid of them.

[pulisa]

Of course you want rid of them but they are a manifestation of your mental distress so to be expected. Keep taking the diazepam because that will help with the difficulty with talking too.

Presumably work won't involve face to face type interaction now anyway? So this would lessen the onus on you to "perform" socially.

have you contacted your GP re the increased citalopram dosage causing this spike in anxiety?

[Mr Polite]

Of course you want rid of them but they are a manifestation of your mental distress so to be expected. Keep taking the diazepam because that will help with the difficulty with talking too.

Presumably work won't involve face to face type interaction now anyway? So this would lessen the onus on you to "perform" socially.

have you contacted your GP re the increased citalopram dosage causing this spike in anxiety?

Thanks. I spoke my gp today, who is great about mental health compared to ones I’ve had in past. He says the increase might well be making things worse at the moment but wants me to continue. At the moment it’s just adding to the trapped feeling simply by feeling trapped on this med - I’ve been taking a low dose for a couple of years.

Yeah I still have to do lots of online interactions at work but perhaps having a focus might help. I really don’t know.

I might look into some private threapy as I know the waiting lists a huge in Bristol.

My doctor said the majority of appointments he’s having at the mo are mental health related- its so sad - there just isn’t the resource to help people.