My Journal

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Today is starting out rough and I have a pounding headache and I can hardly type at all. Maybe things will improve. Not off to a good start at all. FML

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Here is one of my favorite songs by Julio Iglesias - Careless Whisper - Enjoy

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Got outside for a little bit today but happy to be wrapped up in the house and its quiet so I'll take it

Hope everybody is doing well.

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Today wouldn't been alright if I didn't have this much damn leg pain ... some days are worse than other and physical therapy tends to irritate existing issues. I struggle with counting when they tell me how many reps to do and they now know what I'm dealing with. Being on the autism spectrum some days leaves me unable to track well and I forger what somebody told me seconds after I'm told.

Still trudging through Depersonalization/derealisation because there is no medication to treat it - only cognitive behavioral therapy. I meditate several times a day now to manage it. I no longer use guided meditation and I use instrumental meditation music and modify it to my needs now.

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https://betanews.com/2025/05/15/social-media-platforms-are-not-safe-places-for-queer-users-according-to-glaads-latest-social-media-safety-index/

social-media-platforms-are-not-safe-places-for-queer-users-according-to-glaads-latest-social-media-safety-index/

Good thing I avoid all social media other than forums, but it hurts to know its not safe for the LGBTQIA community.

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Just nothing to say - nothing! I feel numb and not necessarily 'Comfortably Numb'. Just need to take it day-by-day and moment-by-moment now as I never know what I'm waking up to. I know this holiday is rough (all holidays besides Halloween are for me) .

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Justin Sylvester said he got covid 6 times and it wiped out part of his brain and he can't remember names anymore. Yikes, I'm glad I'm a loner and keep to myself and embrace the isolation!

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So whilst things are improving I can now start the taper on the benzo ... I'm down to 1MG a day and I feel like I can (and want) to only use it again as needed. Gosh I hate to jinx myself but putting it out there.

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Should be quiet tomorrow ... just the way I prefer it. Can't think today for some reason but its expected giving the circumstances. I might reach out soon, but I'm managing as best as can be; I guess. I hope folks here in the States have a nice Thanksgiving tomorrow.

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Everything about me is at odds in this toxic society and I'm glad I'm far removed and I will appreciate lonerville ... struggling with horrific Depersonalization/depersonalisation and sometimes I find I lose my footing and I get very very VERY lost in my head. Sometimes (most of the time) I wish I could vanish in thin air. Nobody would even know; trust me when I say that and I'm fine with that.