Constant low to medium level anxiety after 2020, grief etc

[GingerFish]

Honestly Ginger, you are literally describing exactly how I feel, almost exactly,

I'm sorry to hear you're pretty much in the same boat as me but in a way it's a relief. We both know how it feels. I'm always here if you want a chat.

Today has been a high anxiety and DP/DR day. I couldn't sleep last night with worry over my MH nurse phone call appt today. I'm the same every fortnight when she calls. Although I know how the call will go, I always think silly things like "she's going to section me", "she's going to tell me I'm never going to get better" and things like that. I then had bad DP/DR when out a drive with my husband. All I could think while he was driving was "wow, I'm actually here in a car moving. I'm not in my house any more. Why does this feel like a dream? Am I dead?!" Took me a while to calm down enough to somewhat relax and enjoy the drive. The next worry for me tonight is going to bed. Since I didn't sleep last night, I currently have the usual worries of "omg what if I don't sleep again tonight?!", "What if I never sleep again?!", "How bad will tomorrow be after such high anxiety today?!". I'm trying to remind myself I've been here so many times and always bounced back but it's like I know it is a fact but I don't believe it, not even slightly.

[LittleLionMan]

I've just focussed on work all day today, and tried to almost put pressure on myself with it, so my mind is worrying about something real.

This is the first time anxiety has ever affected my sleep, and it's horrible. Every evening, I go for a run about 7ish, then I have a shower about 10ish, then I try and wind down for bed, by just reminding myself that I've done the day, and hope that settles me... doesn't always.

My overwhelming feeling is just one of confusion. About anything and everything around me. Running is like my form of meditation, I concentrate on the feeling of my feet hitting the ground and the rhythmic movement and just let everything else come and go. If I can't tolerate the thoughts, I sometimes pop an audiobook in my headphones and try and get lost in it.

This is the closest thing I've found to explain how I'm feeling... https://anxietynomore.co.uk/anxiety-mental-exhaustion/ and it reassures me, as 'mental exhaustion' is far less scary than what I assume is happening.

[GingerFish]

I've just focussed on work all day today, and tried to almost put pressure on myself with it, so my mind is worrying about something real.

This is the first time anxiety has ever affected my sleep, and it's horrible. Every evening, I go for a run about 7ish, then I have a shower about 10ish, then I try and wind down for bed, by just reminding myself that I've done the day, and hope that settles me... doesn't always.

My overwhelming feeling is just one of confusion. About anything and everything around me. Running is like my form of meditation, I concentrate on the feeling of my feet hitting the ground and the rhythmic movement and just let everything else come and go. If I can't tolerate the thoughts, I sometimes pop an audiobook in my headphones and try and get lost in it.

This is the closest thing I've found to explain how I'm feeling... https://anxietynomore.co.uk/anxiety-mental-exhaustion/ and it reassures me, as 'mental exhaustion' is far less scary than what I assume is happening.

Thank you so much for the link. Every single symptom mentioned is exactly what I have, just some are stronger than others but can relate to everything in that article. It was a good read and made me see where I have been going wrong, mainly the overanalyzing every thought and feeling instead of just trying to sail past them and live my life despite my thoughts.

I do the same when my thoughts are too much. Every night when I'm trying to sleep I listen to a sleep story or a TV show I've watched a million times to try and block out the worries when I'm trying to drift off

[Mr Polite]

Hi both, although currently I’m in a more severe state, I have experienced what you are both going through, 4 or 5 years ago. It’s maddening but it will pass. I did find ADs helped with rumination but I also did a lot of stuff, most of which isn’t possible at the mo (which is probably why I am where I am now). Teams sports, interacting with others as much as possible, talking to strangers, I volunteered as a driver for charity for a few months, long walks in places you haven’t been before, cooking, I learnt the piano. Anything that takes you away, but makes you feel part of something wider. I think that’s why it’s so difficult now because we are all stuck in a groundhog type experience, which is probably enhancing these ‘am I alive’ type thoughts. but I would just do what you can to do new things and connect.
Jonny

[LittleLionMan]

Hope is helps a little Ginger!

[LittleLionMan]

I'm pretty much stuck in my house, so can't really do the things I need to to get better, so I have to carve out little things I enjoy, and often get my head into my work as a distraction.