SA, fear of never meeting anyone

[Meg]

I have heard that we have a No More Panic couple too ...
...chat room sweethearts

[FAN]

im not sure how to use the chat room it always seems empty

fan x

[clickaway]

I can inderstand your worries about social anxiety and not having ever been a relationship aged 20.

I went a good many years before I got into one and that was down to my own self-perception of myself, but I must admit not helped by a medical condition that meant I could not drink and not drive.

In the end, a friend matched me up with somebody who needed a listening ear. So you see, that friend saw something positive about me, my g/f appreciated the type of person I was too, and she never asked too far about "former g/fs".

Don't try too hard to find a mate - try harder to widen your circle of friends, perhaps by expanding your interests, and a new friend will appear who will then become your love.

Be positive towards yourself and those you meet - there is someone here for us all.

Ray

[Meg]

Fan.

PM Vernon - he is the expert. THink its from 8:30 pm that it gets lively

Meg

[JPF]

Hi Sunlight

I know a lot of us older types say stuff like "Don't worry, you'll meet someone.." etc. etc. and you think "Yeah, right.." I used to be exactly like you. I'm 33 now, I've been in quite a few relationships, some short, some long (7 years in one case) and I'm *painfully* shy. I never go out unless I'm dragged by the nose, I never flirt with anyone - I wouldn't know how and I also never know when someone's flirting with me. When I was your age I felt exactly the same and worried if I would ever meet anyone and if I did whether they'd be able to put-up with me..

The moral of this long and apparently pointless bit of drivel is that you will meet someone. I've managed it and you don't find many people with fewer social skills or a more hermit-like existence than me. Take it in easy steps, talk to people, either in person or if you're really shy, make some friends/chat online. Wait until you feel ready. You might meet someone special tomorrow in a shop. You might develop something over a few months with an online friend.. there are a myriad of possibilities and the old cliche of 'it comes along when you're not looking for it' also seems to ring true... You can believe in the someone for everyone thing but if you think about it, by the middle of this year there'll be an estimated 6.5 billion people in this world. Even if you rule-out people who are married, not in your particular 'preference' etc. etc. then there are going to be at least hundreds of thousands of people who are potentially suitable for you.. makes the odds seem pretty good of finding someone when you think about it, doesn't it?

Don't worry about it - that's the main thing, even though I know you will because I did and here we all are writing on an anxiety forum You write your posts well so you're articulate (which helps) and you're able to share your thoughts and feelings with us here (a comparative bunch of strangers) so you've already got the groundwork to reach out a bit if you want to..

At least, that's what this old timer thinks anyway

Good luck and don't worry - things have a way of working themselves out.

J

[stimpy]

Fan - take him please !! [^]

If I have to listen to another bout of how everyone else gets the girl apart from him, I am going to go mad.[:P]



Love, light and Best wishes
Liz xxx
With hard work and determination and all the things you know.
The world is there for you to take. There's nowhere you can't go.


[]Scatty Eccentric & 'Poet Laureate to panic and anxiety'

[FAN]

well im braving the pub on friday (that might be the pub car park or loos depending on how brave i feel) so send him there lol

fan x

[bluebottle]

I think the media has a lot to answer for. It pushes this image of what people are and what their lives are like when in reality it is rubbish.

Most people just want someone to love them, and to return that love. These people come in all shapes/characters/viewpoints/lifestyles and all of them have something another person will find interesting and attractive.

I had a friend once, he was a scruffy old bugger and water wasn't his best friend. Yet he was intelligent and hugely popular and married with kids. It was a pleasure to be in his company.

As the saying goes, different strokes for different folks.

Regards,

Blue
--
Take little steps

[loulou]

Hi Sunlight,

I'm soo glad i'm not the only one I'm 22 and have never had a serious relationhip and i'm soo scared that i'll never find someone and settle down so your NOT alone its nice to know I'm not too.

Take care



Lisa

[sal]

Hi Sun

We cant decide when we will meet the right one and we will probably have a few tries before we do but in time it will happen and you wont be on your own.

Until it happens enjoy your space on your own. Happiness will be there for you when its ready and you will meet someone who can give you what you dream off, but until you do enjoy been you.



Lots of Love Sal xxxxx