Originally Posted by
MrLurcher
I wasn't sure whether to post this under my 'Various Health Fears' thread in the Health anxiety section, but this is just a generic depressed, fed up with life vent. Sorry, this is long, but I just need to get this off my chest.
I've spent the last 6 years being the main bread winner for my family, as my partner decided to be a stay at home mum. It wasnt really worth her going back to work as whatever she earnt would have gone on childcare. We've had child benefit and also child tax credits, but the credits have slowly decreased over the years while my wage hasn't changed that much at all.
Life has been tough, and for the past few years I'be really struggled with the responsibility of being the main bread winner. Two years ago I left a job to work for my brother and his partners' business. Probably the worst decision in my life. My previous job was comfortable and I was good at what I did, it was a 60million a year turnover business, and I was the head graphic designer and digital marketer on charge of 5 brands under the main company. My brothers' business was a small start up in hospitality, so it was always a risky move - I was doing the same line of work. Unfortunately I suffered a sort of breakdown 6 months into my job, centred around HA - as has been documented on here, but also due to a complete lack of challenging workload, and also the personal worries I had about working for a new company. I was apparently the highest paid member of staff in the business, even more than my brother and partner, and I hated that.
2 months after my breakdown, my brother and his partner decided that I wasn't performing well enough, which was fair enough - I was still recovering. They decided to change my job to a manual worker, however they also gave me a 6k pay cut. I didn't agree to this, they just did it. They also insisted that I had to travel to work each day, an hours' drive, whereas the agreement when I started that I was going to work 2 days from home. I did 6 months of this with blending in my previous role, struggling even more financially with lower pay. However after reinstating my proper job title and pay, they still insisted on me travelling to work and used to always change my hours - I agreed to work 8-4, this then turned into 8-5, then finally 8-6 some days. I was hardly seeing my children in the weekdays.
Things were difficult up until covid. We were having regular arguments about work, and I could feel myself being phased out. My sister in law's cousin and brother came to work, and they more or less handed some of my tasks to them.
Lockdown came, and they completely shut me off. I was in charge of the online shop, but my sister in law's cousin and brother took that over (not agreed with me). Then in July, to my surprise they made me redundant. I was the only family member/close friend type of employee to lose my job. All my sister in law's family kept their jobs, as well as her best friend and her brothers best friend. They have since outsourced all my jobs and tasks to third party businesses - web company / marketing company etc. So the whole bu**shit that they didn't need a design/marketing person was just a lie, and they only made me redundant for personal reasons.It really, really upset me.
Needles to say I became very bitter and shut them off for months - I haven't spoken that much to my brother since then tbh, and I have no plans to speak to my sister in law who I feel was behind it all.
So I felt stressed and depressed for a few months, sending out my CV, applied for over 20 jobs, until I was approached by the local authority media team, who interviewed me a few years ago, asking if I wanted to work on a contractual basis. I agreed as the pay was great and I needed money. I worked there until just before xmas and absolutely loved it. They let me go as there wasnt a budget for a contracted designer, but they had plans to advertise for an employed position. They've now advertised a senior role, of which I'm sure the internal designers will go for. So if one of them get it, a job will open up that I could apply for. But if the senior job goes to an external candidate, there's nothing for me. Of course I'll apply for the Senior role anyway, I was shortlisted down to the last 5 when this job was advertised 4 years ago.
But right now, I'm unemployed again, stressed and depressed. I've still got a mixture of bitter feelings towards my brother and sister in law which I can't shift. I still hate what they did to me. I've applied for 3 jobs since the new year - very basic jobs within the local authority, and got nothing. I just feel absolutely hopeless. Three years ago I was in such a great position, and threw it all away to work for a family business filled with nepotism and bitchiness. I was supposed to be the main bread winner for my family and I messed it all up. I feel like I've completely finished my career as jobs in this line of work (design/marketing) are hard to come by in this part of world.
I appreciate anyone who reads and responds to this, I know it's long winded, but I don't have many people to talk to about this anymore. Thanks