Adverse effects of mindfulness?

[CaliGuy]

PHR,

I believe you... and I've had similar reactions to meditation and things that are for whatever reason great for most people, but seem to have counter-reactions for me.

It sounds to me like it's more simple than you think, though. I think Alde (above) did a great job of explaining it. But... in short, you probably were in your own head as it was... and did some meditation and
wound up with a bit of depersonalization that stuck for a while. (As it can) Your brain is OK... it's just looping. I agree completely with Alde... get away from it. Refuse to entertain the topic the best you can.
Accept this is how you are right now... and take charge of your life the best you can. Oddly, being mindful can help us do this... but you'll have to do it using other methods. Simply refusing to entertain the thoughts is a form of
mindfulness. So, there's more than one way to re-write new neural pathways. But you're not going to get an "exact" explanation of how and why this happened down to the neuron... the brain does funky stuff when under
duress. (Panic, DP, obsessive thoughts, etc.) So, this is no different. You got yourself stuck, then fearfully reacted and made it worse. I'm just like you... way too analytical and want answers for everything.
But that's now how this will ease for you. You have to convince your mind it's OK being there... and then... it goes when its ready. Just accept you have some DP based on sensitization, stress, fear and was triggered by
meditating - but could have been triggered by other things too. I have had *exactly what you describe.

So, don't worry if people don't believe you. Meditation is sold as the solution to everyone's problems with no exceptions and that is simply not the case. But... you're not broken, and your brain will stop
going internal if you give it time and mostly... space to do so.

I'm having to do the same thing, and have had to before. It works... just try to be patient. PM me if you need to.

Take care.

[ankietyjoe]

Meditation is sold as the solution to everyone's problems with no exceptions and that is simply not the case.

While this is true in part, meditation still IS a Universal solution, but only once the person suffering has developed the correct attitude towards anxiety. Once you do that, you'll find it's ok to experience because you're meditating, because it's just part of the place you're in right now.

The analogy I'll use it my historical response to exercise. My central nervous system would go haywire at any perceived physical effort because my obsession used to be heart rate. Just because I felt bad during and after exercise, does not make exercise the wrong thing to do for physical and mental wellbeing. It took me several months to relearn how to accept the feelings of exertion.

[LittleLionMan]

Odds are that I've done it, thought too much into it (like I do), got myself all panicky every time, blamed all the thoughts that came up, and decided that my mind is something to be frightened of, and have analysed it to death ever since.

That's the logical explanation, so yes, more me than the practice itself.

I've learnt a lesson today, from overdoing the exercise stuff yesterday. Push, push, push, crash! Need to be just be a bit gentler with myself I think.

[Fishmanpa]

I am planning to take a break from here.

FMP

[ankietyjoe]

Odds are that I've done it, thought too much into it (like I do), got myself all panicky every time, blamed all the thoughts that came up, and decided that my mind is something to be frightened of, and have analysed it to death ever since.

That's the logical explanation, so yes, more me than the practice itself.

I've learnt a lesson today, from overdoing the exercise stuff yesterday. Push, push, push, crash! Need to be just be a bit gentler with myself I think.

Observation.

'We' (the NMP Illuminati) take away the option for you to constantly log your fears, and you suddenly have a revelation.

If you're getting off here, go. The way you work, you'll be back to logging again in no time.

[LittleLionMan]

Observation.

'We' (the NMP Illuminati) take away the option for you to constantly log your fears, and you suddenly have a revelation.

If you're getting off here, go. The way you work, you'll be back to logging again in no time.

I didn't have a revelation, that's what I think happened, I just don't know how to stop it or get out if it. I have said that many times.

I'm not logging fears, I'm purely being polite and replying to people who reply to my post. A couple of people who reassuring can actually relate to this problem.

[LittleLionMan]

FMP

Being polite to people who have taken time to write interesting and reassuring replies, and have actually struggled in a very similar way.

Not moaning, not logging, just replying.

[Fishmanpa]

Not moaning, not logging, just replying.

Not moaning...

Push, push, push, crash!

Not logging

The fact you're logged on and replying is logging your thoughts publicly. Based on the advice given, I don't think anyone would be insulted if you didn't reply directly to their post. There are several members that behave nearly identically by quoting each reply and responding which keeps the cycle going. Try to rationalize it anyway you want, but the reality is quite different than your perception.

FMP

[ankietyjoe]

I'm not logging fears, I'm purely being polite and replying to people who reply to my post. A couple of people who reassuring can actually relate to this problem.

Every single person here can relate, it's just that most of the people replying to you know that you hearing people relate keeps you coming back for more 'care'.

Why are you still here, responding?

[LittleLionMan]

Not to this particular symptom they can't, and it was very reassuring to hear that people who have struggled in a very similar way, have overcome it in time, and it was nice of them to write such lengthy, helpful, messages. So I wanted to respond to them.

I also don't have to justify taking 2 minutes out of my day to show a little common decency.