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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Apr 2014

    Fear of ectopic or miscarriage

    I see this section of the forum isn't incredibly busy but figured I'd try posting anyway, although I feel like this probably fits into the Health Anxiety forum better. I'm 5.5 weeks pregnant - I've had two miscarriages in the past couple years (at 6 weeks and 5 weeks) and two healthy pregnancies. For the last week or so I've been having a dull aching pain on and off on my left side, kind of near where my hip bone sticks out/inside and above that. It comes and goes and is not severe. More just a nagging, dull pain. I haven't had any other issues so far - no bleeding, no cramping except for some minor cramping on the day when I think implantation might have happened like a week after conceiving. Anyways, I'm petrified this could be an ectopic pregnancy. I have no risk factors for having an ectopic - no history of anything that would lead to it, not a smoker, etc. I didn't have this one-sided pain with any of my other pregnancies, so I think that's why this is freaking me out.

    I spoke with my doctor/nurse today, described my symptoms, and they are not concerned. They said at the beginning of every pregnancy a cyst forms on one ovary that is responsible for releasing progesterone for the pregnancy, and this can often cause women to experience dull one-sided pain early on in the pregnancy like I described. I didn't know about this, had never heard of it. I haven't googled it and will not let myself do so (bc if I do, I'll find myself undoubtedly analyzing every word and deciding this is not what I have going on). But it makes sense to me and I'm really trying hard to convince myself to just trust them and believe it, and move on. I have my first appointment with them at 8 weeks per their normal policy, where they will do an ultrasound, etc. They did let me know to contact them if the pain becomes very severe in the mean time (or obvious stuff like I suddenly start having severe cramping or bleeding). They assured me the risk of ectopic pregnancy is very low already, and then for someone with no risk factors it is even lower. I believe this logically but I feel like I have seen lots of stories online where a woman has no risk factors and just mild symptoms and then the ectopic pregnancy suddenly ruptures and it's a life threatening situation. This is my fear, and I know it's unreasonable. These stories online are from blogs and pregnancy forums, which are not only anecdotal and unreliable but also kind of draw in anxious people (in my opinion) or people with especially difficult pregnancy journeys or stories who are trying to connect with others for support. I know all this, but it is still hard to overcome the feeling like I'll be the one who has this freak thing happen.

    I'm not a medical person and will readily admit I have no idea about a lot of anatomy etc., but my sense is the ache I'm feeling may be GI or muscular and not even pregnancy related. It seems almost too high to be related to a fallopian tube/ovary issue, but again, what do I know. And when you google ectopics pregnancies (I know, I should not have done it), it often just says abdominal/pelvic/low back pain, which I feel like my symptoms fit into. I've had a lot of QL muscle pain as well as psoas muscle pain over the years since having kids and carrying them constantly, and it does feel like that could be what this feeling is. But you know how with health anxiety any reasonable explanation somehow becomes less likely than the more terrifying options.

    I'm trying so hard to accept that I have literally no control over what happens. But a part of me always says "But I could push the doctor to do testing or an ultrasound now! And if something's wrong they would find it now! And maybe that would be really important and save my life, etc. etc. etc." I know I could ask the doctor to do testing now, but I don't want to be a person who doesn't trust their doctor. I have loved working with this medical team for my previous pregnancies because they are excellent, and I don't want to push for them to agree to do something I honestly don't believe is necessary either but only want/need them to do to ease my anxiety. Just struggling with this same old battle that's always plagued me with health issues for years, but pregnancy introduces a whole different level and category of worries/sensations/thoughts.

    I have virtual therapy every couple weeks and like the therapist decently enough, but she's been pushing me to take an anti-anxiety med (I've never taking one before) even though I've told her I'm not comfortable doing so while pregnant or trying to become pregnant. If I wasn't in this pregnancy/nursing phase of my life I'd probably consider trying a med, but honestly I'm not at a point objectively with my anxiety where it's crippling or causing my life to be in shambles. It's more generally unpleasant and I sometimes get panicky and occasionally have insomnia when I'm really anxious about something. I don't really consider that to be "bad enough" to risk taking a med while pregnant per many other recommendations I've read from doctors, etc. Anyway, not sure that's even relevant, but just something I wanted to vent about I guess. I have been working so hard at CBT and reading lots of different books on topics that have been really helpful for me to address different issues I'm dealing with. I guess I feel like deep down I know what I'm doing is the right thing and I'm not going to take medication at this point, but it's annoying to think my therapist could be thinking "well I guess you just won't help yourself" (she hasn't said this but it's the sense I get) when I'm working so hard at therapy. She took meds during her pregnancy and "it was fine" so I think she might feel threatened or something by me saying I don't feel it's safe to do.
    Last edited by bg222; 18-01-21 at 19:37.

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