Shakey Hands anyone

[Meewah]

Thanks Eveyone
Its good to know I am not alone. Once I got it under control I started exposing myself to the worst situations. It does depend on how I feel at the time that is how anxious. I find avoiding looking at who is in the room works. Once I have broken the ice,excuse the pun, that is taken a drink and its all gone well then I don't seem to suffer and can relax. If I shake and spill some of my drink and then think that someone who I am with has noticed me shake I find it hard to continue drinking in the presence of that person, friend or not. The worst I have been was a business social meal and I thought someone had seen me shaking when eating my starter that I was so self concious I made an excuse that I felt ill and left the building as I knew I would not be able to eat my starter without making a comlete fool of myself. It makes me feel bad just thinking about it.

mee

[mico]

I do say I spend a lot of time trying not to show my weekness and so internalise a lot to the point that I cant have a conversation as I am thinking that the people I am with have noticed something about my body language.

Claire Weekes spoke about shakey hands in one of her books. Her basic approach to most problems is acceptance, and the shakey hands is a good example of how it works.

Say you're out with friends, or even worse, on a date. A little nervous, and your hands begin to shake a little. So what happens, you immediately become more tense and embaressed so you try to hide it. In doing so, you're fuelling that tension and you shake more.

If you're just to accept that sometimes you shake, and maybe people will notice it, but so what, then let yourself shake, that is when it begins to ease. When you become comfortable with your own shaking. Your only fear is that someone will see you and when you address that issue by letting them, you've got it cracked.

At the time I read this, I was kinda 'well yeah, but it's not that easy'.

But a funny thing happened. I noticed that a few of my friends would get shakey hands a lot. But they didn't hide it. And did people laugh at them? No. Did people notice it? Yes. In reality, I think not only me, but other people who noticed it built something of an admiration for that strength of character of someone who doesn't care if they shake or not. So long as they go out and do what they set out to do without any fears holding them back. It's something to look up to, not to be frowned upon. It's not a weakness. It's a real genuine strength to show it and not hide, one which people can clearly see.

After that I became much more relaxed about my own shakey hands.

[HazyMind]

Hi,

I do agree that Claire Weekes advice is the best way to cope with the shaky hands. When I have been at the checkout and I start worrying about shaky hands I instantly feel myself start to react and shake but if I try to accept them and “let myself shake” and try and take on the "who cares if I shake or not” attitude I can relax and the shaking doesn’t seem as bad.

As we start to accept that our symptoms, whether it be shaking or something else, are part of our anxiety and we don’t need to be frightened of them we can lose the fear of them. The fear feeds our symptoms so try not to be frightened of the shaking and as Mico says it's a real genuine strength to show it and not hide it.


I do find this so hard though as when my anxiety is high I find it so hard to think rationally and just get myself worked up into such a state, if I can work on calming my thoughts I know that the facing, accepting, floating, and letting time pass advice that Claire Weekes advises would work!

x

[mirry]

Yes I get shakey hands and sometimes it feels like my head is shaking ,lol.

Ive started taking propranalol again and this time (only 10mg) twice a day , its really helped with the sakes and sweating . Maybe you could try it ?

[Meewah]

Thanks.

Mico - You are right, what is strange is that when out with friends you just want to relax from the anxiety and have a chat and that desire makes you be aware of the possibility of shaking. The shakes if I let them get on top of me cause me to splill or even have the inabilaty to hold an object that needs care and attention eg signing a credit card slip or holding a cup of T. You are right it is easier with people who know I shake. Its difficult if I am with someone new. It is like breaking the Shaking Ice. If I feel people are pay
ing far too much attention to my shakes then I get worse.

Mirry - Thanks but tried propropanol and they do ease my my symptoms but the shaking seems to be resiliant. Shaking when holding a cup or glass in front of people I dont no was my first warning sign that I was begining with higher than normal anxiety. Strangley when my anxiety was at its highest my hands were ok. It is as if the anxiety had a differnt focus.

Thanx for the advice everone.

Love
Mee

[josephine]

Hi ,I get shakey hands. I just wanted to ask Mirry, I take 40mg propanolol when needed, I does work a bit but doesnt make me feel too great. Do you think 10mg would be better and i suppose they work less than the higher dose. Do you take more than 1 a day? Why do you take a different dose now? Sorry for all the questions, just not sure which dose would suit me better.Love Josephine.x

[Jen84]

Hi
I get shakey hands especially when im being watched doing something...being a beauty therapist this means painting nails or applying eyeliner but I just make a light comment about it then move on, most people dont mind at all. When i do it in shops, I just forget about it, having worked in a clothes shop and seen lots of people signing for stuff i know there are great number of people who suffer from shakey hands and it has nothing to do with anxiety. No normal nice people will comment on it, other than a quick 'you ok?' if its really bad!
I find a deep breath and shake your hands out works well.
x

[Meewah]

I think it is all about expectations. I am a six foot five male and am meant to be full of confidence and social energy. All I want to do is hide out of the way of social situations where I feel exposed. Drink is a great prop but sadly I feel terrible and more anxious the next day so it ain't worth it. Anyhow I cant drink when in a meeting. This problem has know become self perpetuating and I need to break the cycle. I just can't bring myself to face the humiliation on a regular basis. I feel so self aware all the time.

Mee

[sherdac]

I suffer from shaky hands on and off. one day i was at the supermarket checkout with my hubby, my auntie was actually the cashier but he said right out loud, look at her hands shaking. i have never been so mortified in my life and was really hurt that he could have said it so loud in public when i was already conscious of it.i also suffer from sweaty hands and feet.

[Richie]

Dear Mico i haven't read Claire Weeks but the advice she gives is exactly the same as the one given by my CBT therapist when i first got ill when i was 19, what he said helped me a great deal and cured me or rather helped me cope with my anxiety for many many years, i was always frightened of my hands shaking but one of my "exposures" was to actually make them shake on purpose and then record other peoples reactions, after doing this regularly and other exposure treatment i could honestly say i was 90% "cured"
All these years later and second time around i should be doing the same!!
Will read Claire Weeks book, sounds like i much need to!
Richie x