Here again lol.

[xleax]

Hey again lol,
Well looking at previous threads you can see I've been in a bit of a chappy place this past year again.. but I'm finally helping myself for once.. and then.... a school friend has passed away at 28. Yes 28 years old.. due to covid 19, now she did have underlying so im trying to keep my shit together but I'm just so sad and angry at covid. Numbers are now becoming names. People we know, although its been shit ive surprisingly taken this news well.. like I haven't been any more anxious then I normally am I've tried to think rationally rather irrationally as usual but what I am finding hard is even when I'm finding i feel what I call normal I panic and feel anxious because I'm not used to this. Is this normal? Like regardless you can't win, also realised its my thoughts what send me into the whole anxiety spiral I let the bad thoughts take over and immediately think danger does anyone have any tips on how to kind of get rid of thoughts rather then acting like I've gone bat shit crazy and send myself into a panic? Its crazy how well I've been doing this past week and how I'm actually thinking I can maybe over come this anxiety thing.. hopefully. Health anxiety has always been the worst for me and now im just at a point where I think if I'm gonna die ill just die, can't fight fate an all that ? I've gotta stop being scared that I'm gonna just drop down dead.. today I even managed a long walk with my son and I haven't been able to do that in a while because I've been so bad so I'm super proud today. I guess my questions is basically..
1. How can I try and stop the bad thoughts before they make me panic?
2.Is it ok to feel anxious about feeling normal?
3. Any other tips on how to help myself further?
4.How to calm myself while out regarding "dropping down dead" or something bad happening?

Thanks for everyone's help over the years this sites always always helped me.

[pav1984]

I'm sorry to hear about your loss and glad to hear you are getting better. My advice would be the following...

1. I wouldn't try and stop the thoughts. The minute you try they will come. Just accept them when they come and think no more of them.

2. The problem you have is that feeling normal isnt normal for you, if that makes sense? You are so used to being anxious that you feel weird when you aren't. Enjoy not being anxious.

3. If you are making progress why change a thing?

4. When out, there is so much to look at. Just concentrate on being where you are. A little like my first comment, dont try to not panic. If you panic just accept you are panicking, perhaps sit and just breath calmly. When you feel better crack on with your day. Why let worry ruin your day?

I hope this helps.

[NessMonster]

I would definitely echo pav1984's responses, particularly to number 1.

Thoughts in themselves are not harmful. There are lots of CBT resources on how to deal with thoughts which are readily available online. Some people find mindfulness practices useful or meditation. Distraction can be useful for others.

2. Absolutely. You just need some time to get used to feeling normal without waiting for the other shoe to drop. It takes practice and patience. You'll get there so try show yourself some compassion.

3. Keep talking to people and using your support systems. Practice skills and coping strategies. Things like mindfulness (just an example) doesn't necessarily feel beneficial immediately because it's not how your brain has been taught to work. You need to train it. Again, having compassion is helpful.

4. Grounding techniques can be useful. When my anxiety is particularly high, I might keep my phone on hand if I need it or be in areas where there tends to be more people around. You can trust your body but sometimes that takes a bit of time too.

[NoraB]

How can I try and stop the bad thoughts before they make me panic?

As others have said, let them come. They're just thoughts, They're not reality - they can't harm you.

Is it ok to feel anxious about feeling normal?

I once had a major panic attack on the realisation that I was feeling 'normal'. Anxiety has become your 'norm' and you are familiar with it. It's understandable that any change, even good ones, will cause anxiety.

Any other tips on how to help myself further?

Don't Google. Don't listen to (or watch) the news unless it's on a need to know basis - as in Uncle Bozzer is changing the rules again.

How to calm myself while out regarding "dropping down dead" or something bad happening?

Not likely. I've felt like I've been dropping down dead since 1975 but I've yet to actually hit the deck!

Do you like photography? If so, that can be distracting while walking because you're looking to get an interesting shot. Or just try and immerse yourself in nature. I've lain under trees a few times. It's very relaxing. Ya just have to a dog/sheep/fox/cow shit search beforehand.