Yes, obviously I know that. That's what scares me even more. But I'm at a point where I think I'm about to find out I have bowel cancer and I'm going insane with worry, so a few extra days of drinking won't make much difference. If they told me I didn't have it, I would quit. I don't think they will tell me I don't though, I'm pretty sure it's too late.
You don't know that for sure. You might think you have a (forgive me) gut feeling, but these count for nothing when you have anxiety. I've been utterly convinced I've had stage 4 cancer a dozen or more times, sometimes with what I thought was genuine evidence. Anxiety is the enemy of rational thought.
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Sometimes, it's better to light a flamethrower than curse the darkness. - Terry Pratchett
Thank you. I know what you mean - I have had worries in the past too. But the fact that the gastroenterologist I spoke to has ordered an urgent colonoscopy is really worrying, even for those who don't have HA. It worries me more because I have had these issues for years, so if it is cancer then it's almost certainly stage 4. I feel so sick with worry right now.
My brother in law had colon cancer. It was stage IV. He didn't have it for 'years' prior to being diagnosed and it was obvious something was seriously wrong. I had Stage IVa Head and Neck cancer. Again, it was obvious something was seriously wrong.
Cancer is an uncontrolled growth of abnormal cells. It doesn't come and go nor does it stop once it starts.
The replies are spot on concerning alcohol. You have IBS. Add the stress and anxiety and it's making things worse. You're desperately trying to rationalize the behavior with your replies. Your doctor isn't concerned about cancer but yes, they need to see what's going on. Based on the fact you've had these symptoms for years, have IBS and have admittingly been hurting yourself with your lifestyle along with how cancer manifests itself and affects you physically, I have a feeling I know what the results will be. If I'm wrong, I'll eat my words.
Positive thoughts
"Eat. Drink. Enjoy the work you do. Be thankful for the blessings God gives you in this life. Live, love and seek out the things that bring your heart joy. The rest is meaningless... Like chasing the wind." King Solomon
The best help is the help you give yourself! http://cbt4panic.org/
You must be on prep day today then?
Nicola
“Don't be afraid of death; be afraid of an unlived life. You don't have to live forever, you just have to live.” - Natalie Babbitt
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Thank you. Sorry to hear about how cancer has affected you and your family.
I keep trying to tell myself that if I'd had it for years I'd be a lot more unwell by now (my bloods all came back OK). The gastroenterologist agreed and said he'd be very surprised if I had it. But then I read stories about younger people who were going back and forth to their doctors for years (some say 3-4 years!) and they were also told that they were too young to have it, and it scares me all over again. In my age range though, the annual rate is 6.8 per 100,000, so about 1 in 14,000 - but that still seems scary to me!
Maybe it would be more reassuring to visualize that stat. There is a post in the Rabies sub-forum on it. Check this out.
Think of that stat and trying to pick out 7 specific dots in 100K. Ohhh... and STOP GOOGLING HORROR STORIES! (and drinking!)
Positive thoughts
"Eat. Drink. Enjoy the work you do. Be thankful for the blessings God gives you in this life. Live, love and seek out the things that bring your heart joy. The rest is meaningless... Like chasing the wind." King Solomon
The best help is the help you give yourself! http://cbt4panic.org/
Thank you. I'll sound insane now, but I actually already did already create a page with 10,000 dots (apparently heavy drinking increases the risk 1.5 fold, so that brings it closer to 1 in 10,000), then coloured in one of the dots. And that made me feel better... for a while. Then I began thinking 'ok, but if you eliminate everyone who doesn't have symptoms... then everyone who doesn't have abnormally high levels of bowel inflammation..." then I worked myself up again! Argh. Anyway, I can't do much else now. This time tomorrow I'll know for sure. Thanks again for your replies - it does help.
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