Almost certain my test results point to bowel cancer

[NancyW]

Yes, obviously I know that. That's what scares me even more. But I'm at a point where I think I'm about to find out I have bowel cancer and I'm going insane with worry, so a few extra days of drinking won't make much difference. <<--- Whoa DENIAL !!!) If they told me I didn't have it, I would quit. I don't think they will tell me I don't though, I'm pretty sure it's too late.

Why not do something that will actually lessen your anxiety ? Like taking a walk ? Do some type of physical activity to burn off some of the adrenaline overwhelming your system .. why do something that is hurting you ? Possible causing your thoughts to further skew ?

[HopeI'mWrong:P]

Why not do something that will actually lessen your anxiety ? Like taking a walk ? Do some type of physical activity to burn off some of the adrenaline overwhelming your system .. why do something that is hurting you ? Possible causing your thoughts to further skew ?

With all due respect Nancy, it sounds like you don't know too much about addiction. When I became an alcoholic, I wasn't doing anything 'wrong' - I was doing something which was legal and widely promoted (though TV ad, shows, etc.) It just so happened that I became addicted. I was super anxious and it's the only thing that helped to stop that (and yes, I tried therapy, medication, exercise). If you use a drug as a tool to cope with anxiety and other negative emotions, and you do that for over a decade, then when you're the most anxious you have been in your entire life it's not as simple as just "taking a walk" instead.

[NancyW]

it's not as simple as just "taking a walk" instead.

Have you tried today ? I will give you the benefit of the doubt, you're a bright, knowledgeable human being with sense about you. What have you done to help yourself today ? Your above post is filled with excuses ..

[HopeI'mWrong:P]

Excuses for what? For becoming an alcoholic? - I'm not sorry about that, I didn't choose it. Or for not quitting alcohol in-between being given some scary test results and having the test which may well tell me I'm going to die? Hardly the best time to try to quit. Not that I need to explain myself, but I have already mentioned that should the test come back clear, I will be working hard to quit. Me saying "a few extra days of drinking won't make much difference" is not "denial" (as you so nicely put it) - it's true. Maybe you're coming from a good place, and if you are then I appreciate that. But your tone sounds very judgemental and I'm really not in a good frame of mind right now, so I cannot deal with it. So please do not message me about my drinking again.

[Fishmanpa]

If they told me I didn't have it, I would quit.

I have already mentioned that should the test come back clear, I will be working hard to quit......So please do not message me about my drinking again.

Big difference.... and yes, they are excuses. You're setting yourself up for failure and building in the excuse not to

Added: I'm not judging here as I do enjoy a good beer or two now and again. I'm just pointing out the reality. You have a physical issue that is being exasperated by anxiety and alcohol abuse. Both need to be addressed.

FMP

[nomorepanic]

If you choose to drink that is up to you and I am not going to judge you on that.

You won't be able to drink tonight whilst doing the prep so that is a good starting point.

If you want to give up then you will and if you don't then I for one would not judge you at all. We are adults and make our own choices in life - good or bad.

[HopeI'mWrong:P]

If you choose to drink that is up to you and I am not going to judge you on that.

You won't be able to drink tonight whilst doing the prep so that is a good starting point.

If you want to give up then you will and if you don't then I for one would not judge you at all. We are adults and make our own choices in life - good or bad.

Thank you - that's much appreciated

[NancyW]

You have a physical issue that is being exasperated by anxiety and alcohol abuse. Both need to be addressed.
FMP

Absolutely! Why not at least attempt to control the things you can?

I know you don't want to hear it, but your excusing your alcoholism and making yourself the victim when its totally your doing. If you wanted to begin helping yourself you'd stop buying it and get it out of your house, you clearly don't.. poor me, society and tv commercials made me drink.

After this crisis is over your anxiety will latch onto something else, the drinking will continue.

This horrid cycle will never end until you stop it.

[HopeI'mWrong:P]

Absolutely! Why not at least attempt to control the things you can?

I know you don't want to hear it, but your excusing your alcoholism and making yourself the victim when its totally your doing. If you wanted to begin helping yourself you'd stop buying it and get it out of your house, you clearly don't.. poor me, society and tv commercials made me drink.

After this crisis is over your anxiety will latch onto something else, the drinking will continue.

This horrid cycle will never end until you stop it.

What the hell is your problem? I nicely asked you to not message me again about my drinking, yet here you are again. I came here because I am terrified about a colonoscopy I am having tomorrow and needed to talk it out. I'm in such a bad space right now and honestly your messages are making me feel even worse. If I want help with my drinking, I'll go to my GP, or AA, or some other help group. I'm not going to listen to the advice of someone who clearly knows nothing about addiction. Now, again, please leave me alone.

[nomorepanic]

My dad was an alcoholic and sadly it killed him in the end so I would never tell someone to "just stop drinking" because that would never happen.

He had to make those choices for himself.

Good luck for tomorrow and I hope the news is good news.