breast lump anxiety – dealing with self-exam findings

[pulisa]

Thank you Carys and Pulisa. He did a breast exam after I was informing him of my HA with my breasts so in hindsight, his comments weren't helpful nor particularly reassuring. I just checked the report and he mentions 'thick tissue' but that a scan isn't recommended due to recent ultrasound. The report does however, say my breasts are normal. Ive always had my breasts checked professionally lying down. Truthfully, I don't even know anymore if they feel different. I think I may ring my GP tomorrow for a 2nd opinion or is this giving in to HA?

Maybe you could ask for a second opinion from a lady doctor, Bobby?

[bobby84]

[QUOTE=carriewriting;1992241]Sorry you got such unhelpful information from your GP Bobby.



My problem is that until now I haven't known what's normal for me. I've been doing multiple breast pokes and prods a week while hoping and praying not to find anything.

It's entirely possible that this area I'm worried about now was there when I got my clear mammogram and u/s last year, but I don't know, so that's why it's being checked.

I also think my issue could have always been there too, I just don't know. I also agree with your approach in doing just 1 breast exam a month and not to poke. Ive contacted the clinic who did my scan so I can have a copy of the report before I decide what to do next. I'll keep you updated!

[pulisa]

That's a good idea. Being able to read the facts in black and white will give you more clarity as to what the ultrasound showed and normal means normal.

[carriewriting]

Great to see you are working through the anxiety Bobby. Approaching this in a logical way helps a great deal I think.

By chance my GP had a cancellation this morning so I was able to ask her what the plan should be with my MRI eg. how long should I wait for my period to come before I have the MRI.

She said it wasn't urgent, that if she thought there was anything sinister she would have referred me for an ultrasound. The MRI is to establish a baseline so we know what is normal for me and because I have lumpiness in one breast and not the other (usually it's both breasts).

But she agreed it was difficult to know when to book it in given how irregular my cycles are. She rang and spoke to one of the radiologists and he said they prefer to do breast MRIs in the middle of the cycle as that's when they're most accurate. It was agreed that we'll wait up to 6 weeks to see if my period comes, if not, they'll just do the MRI.

I'm glad I went to talk to her and that I've got advice on what to do next.

I faced a lot of demons in the past week and feel like I'm stronger for it now. Being positive is scary, but that's what I'm working on.

[pulisa]

I think it's important for you to have a definitive plan and stick to it, Carrie. This MRI is not meant to be diagnostic and there is no sense of urgency. I'm glad your GP is trying to help you by giving you a baseline screen so that any future issues can be set against this.

[bobby84]

That all sounds like really good news Carrie. Keep us updated.

Hopefully the MRI will give you closure and know what your 'normal' is.

[carriewriting]

Thanks Bobby. I hope you're okay too. My aunt, an ex-nurse has come to visit and I was telling her about the MRI and she told me I'm crazy to have it if I don't really need it because of the contrast. That triggered a memory of my GP starting to say something about the contrast and then saying it is generally considered safe. So now I'm going back to the GP next week to talk about it. I'm actually over the whole thing. I feel like I should just get an ultrasound to see if that can see anything and if not and just take my chances. Breast cancer in between mammograms is rare and if I'm that unlucky, then I feel like I just have to accept it.

[carriewriting]

Just continuing to document my ongoing saga as a way of working through my anxiety.

The latest is, I went back to the GP and said I don't want the MRI because of the gadolinium contrast and she said she thinks I should have it because it will give a good baseline and it's super accurate so I won't have to worry about breast cancer for a year. She said the contrast has been shown to be retained in the brain, but they don't know if it's dangerous and if there was any effect it would likely be 20 or 30 years away.

It goes without saying that I am not reassured. Talk about getting what you wish for. I was all gung-ho about this MRI until I learned about the contrast research. Now I'm trying to make the GP not give me one!

I just want an ultrasound of the lumpy area to confirm it's something or nothing.


I can't decide whether to:

- give up the mental struggle and have the MRI
or
- try to tell her again that I don't want it
or
- get a second opinion.


Of course all this inner turmoil is making my anxiety worse than ever. Today I scratched a spot at the top of my other breast and now I think there's a lumpy area above it that might be a lymph node or another breast cancer!

But hey, at least it's a distraction from my liver function anxiety from earlier in the week.

And it's day 37 of my cycle so a bit more insanity than usual is to be expected.

Stay tuned for the next instalment when I go back to the GP in 12 days time (with bonus routine blood test results!)

It might not seem like it from the above ramblings, but I have made quite a bit of progress in the past few weeks on acceptance and using my fear of cancer to motivate myself to do things I've been putting off. My negative mindset is proving pretty hard to shift, but Rome wasn't built in a day. Onwards!

[bobby84]

Hi Carrie, good to hear back from you.

Health anxiety is just the worst isn't it! I sympathise as I feel like we both have the same anxiety and keep finding new things in our breasts. I do believe, the more we check, the more we are likely to find 'something'. I always try to remind myself that our breasts are not just soft fat, they are made up of all sorts which is probably why we can find new things each time we check.

Anyway, back to your point about MRI - if you are uncomfortable, could you pay privately for a scan and tell the GP thanks, but no thanks? I understand MRI is more sensitive which I think can also flag up lots of benign things that might warrant further investigation. I suspect she's pushing for the MRI as she knows you will continue for find things in your breast due to HA.

Which option are you swaying towards (excluding GPs advice)?

[pulisa]

How did you find out about the gadolinium contrast, carrie?