Major anxiety after incident. Scared

[Kobey]

Hi all, I haven't been on the forums for a while but I just wanted some advice on how to cope with a situation.
This might be silly but the other day I made a mistake by taking a wrong turn up a one way street and someone almost pulled out in front of me. The other driver was flashing and beeping me in an aggressive way.
When I got home the anxiety kicked in big time and has stayed with me for two days, I cant help but fear they are out to get me. I'm afraid to go back into town in my car because of this.
I tried to put my hand up to apologise but it was dark. I cant get this fear, palpitations and anxiety out of my system. It was a mistake but I cant seem to let it go. 😔

[Carys]

A silly mistake yes, but a mistake, and we all make them.

Why would they 'be out to get you' ? Why would they even know who you were ? People don't go around trailing people and tracking them down after the many simple accidents and near misses that happen on every road, everyday in the world. I bet the other driver hasn't even thought about it after the event - apart from recounting to a friend/family member how 'some idiot went the wrong way down the one way'. They are now getting on with their life and worrying about the next thing. Their 'aggression' was an immediate reaction, yes, anger but also possibly also born of their own fear/panic at the situation. People cocooned in their little metal bubbles often react very differently to how they would in person, or react strongly immediately as they are 'anonymous'. Just because you saw a flash of 'aggression' in an instant doesn't mean that it didn't subside quickly and certainly doesn't mean that the person is usually out hunting people to attack who make transgressions on the road. You are imagining that the person driving the other car was some crazed lunatic who would risk prison by tracking down another driver and attacking them, for what, a simple error.

Put this down to what it was, it frightened you, and probably it frightened the other person but it was a fleeting moment in time and thats all. Analysing events like this, long-term, is something I used to do a lot when younger, until they became consuming. I then tried to retrain myself to think about the fact that just because something feels mega important to me, doesn't mean that it is for another human being - I was allowing my own anxiety to make jumps into thinking that the other person was suffering the same anxious analysis. There is little chance of that. Just because you can't forget something, doesn't mean the other person hasn't forgotten. Just because you are having trouble moving on, doesn't mean the other person hasn't. You don't know who that person is, what is happening in their life or factors affecting them - for all you know a family member had just died from COVID and they were driving there, hence the reaction. Maybe that person, as an opposite tpo what you believe, felt really bad afterwards for reacting as they did to and regrets it ? Thats an alternative reality to yours, that is far more feasible than then tracking you down. What I'm trying to say is that forcibly removing yourself from your own mind by imagining the other person and putting yourself in their hypothetical mind, can be a reminder that your perceived reality, the fear that has grown out of proportion, is just that, out of proportion. Reassure yourself that this moment has gone, there are no long-term repercussions.

I recognise the emotions you feel/felt about someone being really angry about a mistake you've made, and this scenario has arisen on this forums before, and, I honestly think, if I was you, rather than avoidance I'd make a trip round trip to town today. Just drive carefully on a short route. You will be successful in that and nobody will 'be out to get you', so that success will reenforce that your fears are ungrounded.

[NoraB]

Hi all, I haven't been on the forums for a while but I just wanted some advice on how to cope with a situation.
This might be silly but the other day I made a mistake by taking a wrong turn up a one way street and someone almost pulled out in front of me. The other driver was flashing and beeping me in an aggressive way.
When I got home the anxiety kicked in big time and has stayed with me for two days, I cant help but fear they are out to get me. I'm afraid to go back into town in my car because of this.
I tried to put my hand up to apologise but it was dark. I cant get this fear, palpitations and anxiety out of my system. It was a mistake but I cant seem to let it go. 

I think most of us have done this at some time - as in make a mistake like this - and I dwell on mine far longer than is healthy too.

In reality, the other driver will most likely have forgotten about it within minutes of it happening. He/she doesn't know who you are - let alone being 'out to get you'.

You made a mistake. Nothing happened aside another driver seeing if his/her horn and lights work - and try and remember that they'll have done the same thing - at least once.

If you want to re-frame it - maybe think that the other driver was the better option because another driver might have actually hit your car?

[Kobey]

Thanks for taking the time to reply to me. Its weird how you can go a year without any anxiety then an incident like this really rocks you.
Thanks for the advice, im trying to not think about it today and to enjoy the day. Hope your doing well yourself.

Thanks again. 😀
.

[Lencoboy]

I don't know the exact situation so I'm not qualified to fully judge but perhaps the road/street has poor signage or the one-way notice might have been obscured in some way or another.

And I agree it's highly unlikely that the other driver who was irate with Kobey is likely to wilfully go stalking him/her in order to exact some kind of revenge, especially as there was no actual physical harm done.

At the end of the day we're all human and all prone to making mistakes, but sadly there are a minority who seem to revel in war and peace over even the most trivial of events.